This thing about enjoying recovery is really sticking with me. I just wrote to my recovery partner something along the lines of, "If PM is unremitting misery, and recovery is also unremitting misery, then what does recovery have to recommend it? At least with PM you get to orgasm!". So I'm looking for ways to enjoy my recovery life. I'm sure I'll be less tempted if I'm concentrating on the positive things I would lose, rather than just the avoidance of being in trouble. That's what it took to get me here, and into recovery generally, but fear of consequences alone won't keep me in recovery. So some of the things that recovery is bringing: I've developed closer relationships with two of my friends. These guys are really important to me. Because I've been clear about how difficult times have been, each has reached out to me and told me how important our friendship is. That would not have happened had I not come into recovery. My relationship with my wife is far better (well, DUH.). It's not just that I'm not in trouble with her; it's that we've been more playful and friendly. I can remember what is was like years ago, and why we married in the first place. I'm also noticing other, real women, and some of them are noticing me. I'm gonna be 68 years old in a matter of days, and I'm no Chris Hemsworth (or whatever his name is), but some acquaintances have "renewed their acquaintanceship". It's pleasant. It's never going to be anything that my wife has to be concerned about; I am firm in my resolve of fidelity to her (and I renew that resolve regularly in my morning meditations), but it's pleasant, nonetheless. That may have been happening when I was into PM, but I never would have seen it because I was so blinded by the artificial images I kept exposing myself to -- and I'm pretty sure it WASN'T happening, because I'm sure I'm different when I'm active in PM. I remember hearing left-wing political figures saying words to the effect of, "If I can't dance in your revolution, then I'm not coming along." Well if I can't joke, play, and enjoy life in recovery, I'm not sure I want it. And, now I think of it, I think we have a responsibility to each other to show that recovery is enjoyable. If this thing is not attractive, then who's gonna stay here?