I think partly I allowed myself yesterday to fall into a negative cycle of work stress, too much caffeine, which led to too much alcohol in the evening and ultimately a relapse. It would be good if I could become aware of these things as I go along; be aware of the effect they have on me and therefore reduce/abstain. It's a real shame because it was the first time I have been alone in the evening for quite some time (my wife was away). It was a really good opportunity to abstain and help myself move away from the addiction. Never mind, all I can do is try to learn and move on, and look after myself better in future.