Soon i have to change the forum

Discussion in 'Ages 25-29' started by brain123, Nov 18, 2018.

  1. brain123

    brain123 Member

    day 66 was really tough yesterday. the mistake was that i forget what happens when i meet the girl and i get triggered. the brain fog the next day was insane.
    and i made the mistake of not going to the gym. end up having a really confused day.

    feeling better today, but will go to the gym today - to release the energy. also im seeing more and more what im sexually turned on by, i hate sex in the dark because im a really visual and sensual guy. i need to see whats happening otherwise im not turned on.
    all these things, i wasnt aware of before because i was in a no where land of sexual energy.

    its day 67 today, lets go! will probably have sex the next days to get rid of the hard mode and release some energy and see if im able to have sex now. will test the water basicly.

    some fixation thoughts came up yesterday about the porn when my energy was really too much. but fapping is not an option and im really good now in being ok with these urges. but still, its not the optimal strategy.
    optimal strategy was just to go to the gym and release the energy in the first place but i was also really tired from all the working out in the last 2 weeks and i think i ate something bad in a restaurant. so it was a lot of factors coming together that made happen what happened yesterday.

    even watching porn came up to my mind all of the sudden.
     
  2. brain123

    brain123 Member

    feeling so much better after the workout. even my thoughts of banging are gone.
    what is interesting is that my sexual drive also gets lower when i workout. so maybe its better to not workout before i want to have sex to keep my high sexual drive.

    changed also few things in my routine so that i dont feel as low energy after the workout and it helped immediatly. now working out 7 times per week is way more substainable without interfering with my other life.

    my dick sensitivity is btw at a 9/10 probably now.
     
  3. brain123

    brain123 Member

    wanted to watch some video about how to make a woman squirt, ended up watching porn for 5 minutes. it was insanely good. my boner got insanely hard.
    but interrupted it - thank god. will have sex today.

    day 68.

    im not sure if i want to workout today because if i workout it takes my energy from wanting to have sex a little bit. so maybe i will do a little workout today instead.

    i think its worth it trying.
     
  4. brain123

    brain123 Member

    day 68. tried to have sex. but was pretty warm in my room and i didnt get an erection. wasnt really exiting. think it had more to do with the hotness of the room. lets see
     
  5. brain123

    brain123 Member

    day 69, had sex, came in her. was half sleepy and i took some weed - which made me pretty weird.
    i have to admit i fantasised a bit while having sex. didnt have any ed but probably i fantasised a bit.

    got into chaser effect after that and i fapped 4 times, but with no porn, but with some old related thoughts. feeling really energy drained now. porn is no option, fapping is still a option but it will not be a big option . i think fapping multiple times or coming multiple times is still a good strategy to rebalance myself and then go to another streak of days of not coming. as long as i dont do it over multiple days and its just 1 day its fine. i fapped just 2 days and had sex the same 2 days in the last 100 days - which is a pretty good thing. and i didnt watch porn even once! amazing progress. also i learned so much about myself and sex and urges - its insane.

    but my dick sensitivity and orgasms are way stronger now.

    will go back now. interrupt thoughts, dont touch, workout if i feel urges - and continue counting. its day 70 today.

    will go another 20 days without orgasm. and then have sex again.

    lets go!!! this is the real test now. how fast can i come back???
     
  6. brain123

    brain123 Member

    actually i decided to count the 11 days before also - because the way i came back then was also just sex. so im at day 82 now.
    LETS GO!!!
     
  7. brain123

    brain123 Member

    day 81 over. day 82 today. some urges, fapping is around the corner.
    also met the girl yesterday again and i feel like that the magic is over. its so insanely weird and confusing. i hope im not right.
     
  8. brain123

    brain123 Member

    day 83, fixation thoughts, urges - are really high. need to interrupt thoughts, dont touch.
    fapping is around the corner. its a real danger again.
    fasting today, lets see how it is.

    but it makes sense, its day 3 after coming after sex and fapping 4 times. lets push through.
    also the feelings for the girl are really strongly reduced. and i want them to come back.

    but will also start approaching other girls again.
     
  9. brain123

    brain123 Member

    Finding something that you love being enganged in makes a huge difference. I execute on these things way more and it helps me even though i didnt workout today to remove my thoughts from fapping or urges.

    Its the next level of personal development that i felt i achieved. That i found something that i can do for hours and it feels great.
    lets see how this continues to develop.

    still day 83, day 3 after my last orgasm. lets rock it!!

    interrupt thoughts
    dont touch
    focus on energy
    focus on feelings for girls
     
  10. brain123

    brain123 Member

    went through a 24 hours fast pretty easy. but was still a great challenge.
    my body still has some urges here and there. but being engaged with my passion and the fasting and lots of movements made it easy for me

    tomorrow is day 84 and day 4 without orgasm in a row. think the urges will go down tomorrow.
    will also wake up earlier tomorrow and follow a better structure. also focusing on meeting the girl that i date soon again and on approaching more woman and building my attractive lifestyle.
     
  11. brain123

    brain123 Member

    day 84, 4 days after orgasm. feeling really loaded, eating, drinking and then gym to release the energy. my brain wanted to fap really bad and take the easy route. but not with me!
     
  12. brain123

    brain123 Member

    day 84, day 4 after last orgasm. after going to the gym - even though the workout wasnt really hard - i feel completly new born. the urges are gone, the energy is released, i feel in control again. this is amazing! once again i interrupted the pattern and im showing myself how to get control over myself. i think the orgasm in this stage is maybe a even more important step then if i would continue going hardmode. because i already had a strong dick sensitivity to be able to have intercourse - even though it was a little bit with non porn related fantasising with open yes. but because im confronted with the chaser effect after the orgasm i need my willpower again to obtain the new set behaviours for urges - which is to accept, interrupt and go to the gym instead of fapping and letting the energy out in an unproductive way.

    this way i release the energy, im driven, i feel great about my self and my self esteem rises AND im still having my sexual energy
     
  13. brain123

    brain123 Member

    had a massive relapse. after gettin angry about something related to my family i went home and was still pretty unhappy. then thoughts of watching porn got really really strong and at the same time i felt insanely tense and unhappy. my desire for watching porn and coming got really strong. also the combination that the girl that im dating isnt really responsive anymore added to it also.

    fapped 2 times to porn in 10 minutes.

    lesson : gettin into arguments with my family makes me unhappy and seems to trigger me way more to porn. there seems to be a link from probably my youth because porn was probably a good releaser when i had a argument in the family (which happened a lot). otherwise im really never in arguments or gettin this unhappy about things.

    so i will avoid this in the future. i think this was a extremly important lesson because it helped me to isolate the remaining factors of trigger a lot and also shows me that in the end the only one you are really hurting with gettin angry with someone or having angry arguments is urself.

    i will do everything so that this relapse is just a one time thing. but now my chaser effect will get probably really strong. also it doesnt help that my biggest motivation - the girl that i was dating - is making things difficult. #
    this is a challenge and i will take it on.

    what will i do?

    remember my vision of wanting to have an happy relationship, motivation in life, having a great body, having success, beign fullfilled in life and wanting to have kids some day.
    meet more woman.
    intensify the blogging here and be ready to fight against cravings in the next day.
    see the positive and see that as something that needed to happen in order for me to get this new awareness.

    no one said this is gonna be easy. i made amazing progress in the last 3 months - AND I WILL FIGHT MORE!!!
     
  14. brain123

    brain123 Member

    day 85, fapped 2 times more, yesterday and today. im totally into fap momentum again. got triggered again - at least i didnt fap to porn but some porn related fantasie.
    i still learned a lot about myself, and im continuing this journal, which is insanely important.

    i made important decisions and also started communicating that with my enviorenment. also even though i fall off - and my brain wanted to get into chaos mode again, i just accepted - even though it was hard - and went back to my structure - this helps me a lot to go back as soon as possible.

    also the situation with the girl is more under control again, i realised that 99 % was just me - i went crazy basicly because i needed way more emotional insuarance then i thought i needed.
    but the fapping and porn can destroy lots of my drive.

    i want to have a great relationship, i want to have sex.

    i will communicate with her what happened, i will also go back into nofap mode - i will also avoid any potential trigger LIKE HELL and i will fight myself back through the struggle days.
    the hot summer weather, the last weekend, some triggers, not eating enough ,some randomness, the new emotional commitment story with the girl - and many things came together so that im where i am now- oh and also the fact that im a human who makes mistakes.

    still lets see the positive. in the last 85 days - i fapped just 4 days. i just watched porn 1 day - which was yesterday. i was able to have sex, i was able to get a really strong structure in my life, i was able to find something that replaces fapping with working out a lot, i challenged and changed my body ressistence and fitness.
    im almost in a relationship, and i was able to do this journal for so many days in a row - and im also able to focus on the positive, learn the lessons when i get a setback.

    this is all amazing! so lets continue!! this was just another NEEDED lesson and setback to reach my amazing goal!! LETS GOOOOOOO

    dont touch
    dont fantasisse- interrupt
    focus on my goal of having a great girlfriend
    focus on learning
    focus on the positive
     
  15. brain123

    brain123 Member

    fapped again randomly. was in a floating tank and wanting to know how it is to fap there. ok this is the last valid excuse. lets restart now. my only goal is go to day 3 again. also i will go to home later from now on, making sure im not there just bored and having nothing to do.

    this will not only make me less likely fap, it will also force me to have a even more active life.
     
  16. brain123

    brain123 Member

    my adjustments are fast and good. im feeling how this will help me to stay on track. the constant reflection in this blog helps me. lets go!
    tomorrow i will just focus on going one more day without fapping. this is the goal i have to focus on.
    the fight is day by day again. and this is what i will see.

    if im not at home other then for sleep and i dont get distracted and i have lots to do during the day and im having my mind on my goal - then everything is possible again.

    its about awareness! lets go!!
     
  17. brain123

    brain123 Member

    day 86, day 2 without orgasm. my reflexes got better again, im way more aware. im srong. lets g go
     
  18. brain123

    brain123 Member

    the next fap is around the corner. thats why i want to keep staying strong.
    lets rock it. lets go!
     
  19. brain123

    brain123 Member

    fought through. yes. i will make it. day 87/3
     
  20. brain123

    brain123 Member

    gettin triggered a lot, also my mind CRAVES for gettin triggered. i have to interrupt my pattern now - otherwise it will get dangerous again!
     

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