Soon i have to change the forum

Discussion in 'Ages 25-29' started by brain123, Nov 18, 2018.

  1. brain123

    brain123 Member

    day 30 - finished, pretty active day but also prette tense. was pretty tired from my gym sessions, went to the gym 6 times in the last 7days. but im gettin used to it.
    also my old fixation triggers are gettin less and less. this is amazing. i really start believing that i can make it. also i want to get more jacked for having sex and im starting to optimise my workout for that.
    really looking forward to the transformations in the next weeks- doing nofap 60 more days, gettin rid of my fixation, gettin jacked in the gym, gettin confidence to have sex and also going out to meet more woman and improving my game. yesss!!
     
  2. brain123

    brain123 Member

    day 31, resheduled the date yesterday for today. im thinking about having sex with the girl today without coming. but i think that would be not clever and its just my brain and dick craving for some stimulation that could end bad with me ejaculating and therefore destroying my progress.
    so lets keep it slow.
     
  3. brain123

    brain123 Member

    day 31, got pretty intimate with the girl. made out, she gave me a handjob, but i stopped her before i came to continue my challenge.
    but insane progress. i was fully present with her, and this is just the beginning. i can feel it, and also the fact that im gettin comfortable with her is huge. also i started working out to improve my sex life. and will continue meeting more girls.
     
  4. brain123

    brain123 Member

    day 32, im feeling the energy from yesterday. have to work really well to channel that well.
    will put it into work and working out. and also going for walks with friends.
    have to be careful to not trigger myself, i can feel how it could get dangerous today.
    have to continue focusing on removing and retraining my old fixation.

    also in regards of sex - beeing chilled and comfortable with a girl is insanely important for me. i met this girl 4 times now, and the comfort i feel with her now compared to before is so much bigger - i can finally let go more.
    before i just tried to feel comfortable to fast.

    also - its about triggering me to feel horny, touching her, feeling comfortable and then wanting more of these feeling and gettin into a upward spiral of hornyness.
    before i just rushed it to fast, while not feeling comfortable, while immeditialy jugding myself and making it worse.

    it literally gets better from meeting to meeting. this will add up to an complete recovery in the next 50-60 days left. im discovering a new world.
     
  5. brain123

    brain123 Member

    really energy draining day today. probably because of the sun, diet, everything. i need to go to workout now - and get my energy in balance again. this will help me a lot.
    really dangerous day today. so - will eat/workout, go for a walk, probably socialise. and rebalance myself. lets go through this fight.
     
  6. brain123

    brain123 Member

    after an insane workout, i was feeling great again and had unlimited power to go out to the club. met few girls.
    the amount of power i have is completly insane. will go for another workout today.
    also i just want to become a beast in bed and i will become one. working on it right now with workout and pc muscle training.

    its day 33. this journey is worth every fight and struggle - the reward of how you feel, the power, the change is beyond messaure.
     
  7. brain123

    brain123 Member

    oh and my fixation thoughts are kind of gone. i still need to discipline myself to not fall into the old pattern. have to be really careful.
    but the improvements are already insane.
     
  8. brain123

    brain123 Member

    day 33, worked out. lets continue.
     
  9. brain123

    brain123 Member

    day 34, retraining the fixation. i have the leverage and i see how the fixation was really easy to get into but is also really easy to get out to.
    focus - what do i focus on? do i orgasm with the fixation. do i replace it with something else?

    the time that i give myself to remove myself from old porn fixation or adrenaline situations to be able to have sex - and also the time to recondition myself to new simple stimuli - fixes a lot of things.

    hard mode is the only great way to go with fixing these things. the girl that im dating is then leaving for a week - so the next time i meet her willl be probably around day 50.
     
  10. brain123

    brain123 Member

    worked out for 2,5 hours today. feeling great. having many urges to meet the girl that im dating right now. no urges to fap, no urges to watch porn.
    huge drive. day 34 ist almost over.
     
  11. brain123

    brain123 Member

    day 35, my drive to go out and meet woman is back again. i want to have abudance and an abundand option of woman that i can pick one of.
    so lets go. lets do this! taking a break from all the working out today - my body needs rest, but i feel good.

    got many lessons from the 35 days so far, and the daily reflection and changes -that i know way better now what i want and how to get it. also the extra energy that i have will help me to get it.
     
  12. brain123

    brain123 Member

    Its so easy to fall into the trap that im recovered now. But lets see the facts:

    Im seeing huge benefits already.
    My goal is to fix a conditioning that i build over the last almost 20 years.
    my mind always wants to trick me to go back into old behaviour and wants to make me think that im fixed.
    most people need at least 90 days to recover.
    i was wrong about "beeing cured" multiple times and i have fallen back multiple times into old behaviour.
    its not just about beeing fixed, its also about installing new habbits, a new personality, with my new "fixed self". this means, meeting woman, having sex, building good reference experiences, stabilsing my new identity - and this takes time!

    what i have to stop is to get triggered in real life with girls - because it destroys my day after like hell and makes me really likely to relapse and end up having sex with the girls.

    i can feel that an orgasm would still be one of the worst things that i could do right now. im not ready yet, and the 90 days are a really good possible timeline where i should think doing it again.

    what i will do now:

    go out meet woman
    improve my game
    stop trying to have sex with woman before date 4 or more, i need comfort first to enjoy it really.

    also i know better now what kind of woman i like. and my plan should be to go out and meet them and get them to dates regularly.

    lets go!
     
  13. brain123

    brain123 Member

    went out to approach some girls, but this time under the right mindset. now its time to continue practising it. if i do this new way for the next 65 days of my nofap journey - i will change my whole life around.
     
  14. brain123

    brain123 Member

    day 35 over. pretty easy day, im still exhausted from all the workouts in the last days. have to think about the girl im dating all the time.
    but no other thoughts, the fixation thoughts are gone, fapping is not even in my thought or any possibility. porn is also just not existent .

    still really concious and aware of the possibility that the trap could be around the corner and that my brain just wants to trick me maybe.

    but im more clever then my brain! lets rock it. this was the last day of 5 week of hardcore nofap mode.

    also approached today and im having still this insane drive.

    if i get structure in my life now and remove all the distractions - i can achieve amazing things. lets continue!!!
     
  15. brain123

    brain123 Member

    day 36, dreamed about porn stuff. had insane boner, almost came while banging my bed during sleep lol.
    but yeah , was to be expected - its not easy. interrupt thoughts and keep going! this is what i talked about when i was like "its an illusion that i think its over".
     
  16. brain123

    brain123 Member

    the thoughts are becoming more and more . im pretty sure its also because of my bad diet choices i picked in the last 2 days.
    this could easily end in an big downward spiral.

    will go eat, let go of my thoughts, take a massage , drink - and restart my brain. moving is the key!! otherwise this could end in a relapse!!
     
  17. brain123

    brain123 Member

    took massive action to improve my conditioning. feeling better now, think i have made good progress in overcoming this difficult state. but have to be REALLY aware still of the next hours.
     
  18. -Luke-

    -Luke- Active Member

    Awareness is the first and most important step I believe. A difficult state like this can act as an early warning system. Keep going, you're doing good!
     
  19. brain123

    brain123 Member

    thank you luke. yeah the awareness got me out of it.
    met the girl im dating today, it kind of escalated. had sex with her for couple of minutes. of course i stopped before i had the risk of coming.
    i was the whole time in an dilema of doing it versus not doing it.

    it still didnt work perfecttly, but im gettin to know my body better now and also my sexuality.
    when i feel turned on, when i dont feel turned on , and so on. im still really easy to get into my head.
    but i also know better what works and what not.

    also i experienced fear of lose with the girl cause i start to like her.

    lets continue. i think im on a really good way but i still need time.
     
    -Luke- likes this.
  20. brain123

    brain123 Member

    day 37 today. im pretty motivated and driven after yesterday. first i felt really weird, now i feel driven and confident.
    i think the having sex without coming was pretty good for me. it gave me a taste of where i want to go .
     

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