Sometimes you have to roll the hard six

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by Crichton, Jun 6, 2020.

  1. Crichton

    Crichton New Member

    Battling Addiction almost all my life. I came close to quitting and that was through accountability to others not to fail. I'm back to do that again and this time to beat it.

    I'll expand more as I get further into my journey and share. But right now its just day one and I'm a man who needs to cut out the bad things out of my life. I'll be here quite a bit in the beginning of my journey. I know that for sure. Every urge is gonna be intense. Its always like that in the first week of withdrawals.
    [​IMG]
     
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  2. Thelongwayhome27

    Thelongwayhome27 Well-Known Member

    Welcome Crichton ! I look forward to reading more.
     
    Crichton likes this.
  3. Crichton

    Crichton New Member

    Thanks
     
  4. Crichton

    Crichton New Member

    Day 1 - Sometimes we call Day 1 even though its already been half a day. So technically its day 1.5. But at the same time that gets too complicated. But then there are the people who don't count days and then you have those who have stopped counting.

    So how is my life going? The cravings are not fun but thankfully I am at work. Works great that way because you don't get the chance to jack off there. Well, I guess some people have but I haven't. At least I don't think so I can't stand the smell of a public restroom. I'm getting off track again.

    It's early and I seem to be developing a pattern of going to sleep and waking up 3 hours later. Which is good practice for possible insomnia but bad for dealing with how busy my life is. Its gotten so busy I disregarded romantic relationships. A month ago I had sex multiple times and was hard throughout. But if I'm not having sex I'm jerking it ane I dont like that. I also find myself being drawn back to weird fetishes.

    Lets get to 4:20pm and be done with 1 day
     
    Last edited: Jun 7, 2020
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  5. Crichton

    Crichton New Member

    Day 2 - Not quite sure why my counter isn't working. Perhaps it only counts fulls days. No worries I guess it is odd having my streak start in the middle of the day. Hlowever, I am not going to go jack off at 1am in the morning to set up a nice memorable streak. Perhaps in time, I will just start counting full days but for now, each hour is pretty important. Things are going well. I almost tripped up a couple hours ago but I didn't.

    [​IMG]

    Ah nice there it is Hooray one day
     
    Last edited: Jun 7, 2020
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  6. Shady

    Shady Active Member

    @Crichton you can do this Crichton.

    About the counter, make sure it's activated in your signature. Check your preferences.
     
  7. Crichton

    Crichton New Member

    Almost to day 3. It really makes a difference just having other people know you have a problem. I've a pretty driven guy and am in the process of getting my shit together. I think my mind grabbing porn was just me pushing myself harder than ever. So the wuss in me didnt want to do he ran to the cabinet and grabbed the medicine I used for decades (porn). Well he can shut the fuck up and sit the frak back down.

    At the end of the day you either do it or don't. It doesnt matter how you feel. Feelings are temporary. We are the sum of getting shit done and we need to get done.

    I guess its like saying goodbye to an old friend who you had a good time with but at the same time fucked up your life.

    Almost 2 days done
     
  8. Crichton

    Crichton New Member

    Day 3 - Festeggiamo il terzo giorno

    It means "Lets celebrate the third day" in Italian. Do I know Italian you ask?. Just a little bit. Do I have google translate? Yes I do. Had a rough patch but overcame it. A lot of groan urges if anybody knows how that feels. Its where my groan was tense but didn't really hurt there was just pressure for a couple seconds and then it was gone. I am glad I was at work though.. From my personal experience sitting in a room and thinking of not jacking off will make you jack off. Its the "purple elephant" effect. Plus I couldn't go jack off at work as I said before. So my brain is not really hurting yet but I wanted to use this. I have my Bootcamp class tonight and my brain is already fried for that I guess. Got a million things going on and that's a good thing.

    [​IMG] 0
     
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  9. Crichton

    Crichton New Member

    Day 3ish?

    Woke up half awake last night with a raging hard on and pulled up my typically site looming for something novel that interested me. Luckily there was not and I quickly shut it down.

    It's difficult to say I won't restart the counter. Because I technically looked at porn. But it was also for 1-2 minutes in a sleepy haze.

    Should I restart my counter because that seems like being to hard on myself. Its already tough ATM.
     
  10. BoughtWithBlood

    BoughtWithBlood Active Member

    First of all: goodjob on shutting it down and moving on!

    If it was just 1 or 2 minutes, I would not reset the counter. It probably didn’t do a lot of damage in that short amount of time. Also, resetting the counter can give you an excuse to go on a binge.

    You should be vigilant though. You state you couldn’t find something novel. Your brain will probably try to convince you to try different ways to actually find what you’re looking for. It’s normal to feel restless and get cravings / flashbacks after peaking. Just hang in there. It will pass.
     
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  11. Crichton

    Crichton New Member

    Thanks yeah I can really feel the cravings now. They are really intense
     
  12. BoughtWithBlood

    BoughtWithBlood Active Member

    Distracting yourself with something to do helps. If you don’t really have anything to do, ‘urge surfing’ can definitely help. A fellow forum member recommended it to me a while ago and it can be very useful. Goodluck!
     
  13. Crichton

    Crichton New Member

    If you count laying on the ground and enduring the pain of withdrawals as urge surfing. I looked it up and it seems a little too much for me personally. At least for me stfu and get it done is a better way. Getting through each pain of urge is my goal and they do typically come in waves.

    I think what did get me through it though was the concept of not wanting to say I failed in my journal. But thank you for the words of encouragement.
     
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  14. BoughtWithBlood

    BoughtWithBlood Active Member

    Whatever works for you man! Happy you got through it.
     
  15. Crichton

    Crichton New Member

    Thank you I deeply apperciate it
     
  16. Crichton

    Crichton New Member

    Day 4- Wow looks like we have made it to day 4. Who would have thought. It really does fly by in a certain way.

    I've had some mega strong urges today but I endured and I'm glad I have. You can either suffer now or suffer later. But what doesn't kill you makes your stronger.

    I feel like this should be smaller (Its huge on desktop but not on mobile) but at the same time its funnier that it is this big. That's what she said.

    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Jun 9, 2020
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  17. Crichton

    Crichton New Member

    Day 5

    They seem to go by easier now. But I make sure to remain busy as well as making progress in other aspects of my life. I've tried the whole just sit there and not do porn and it doesnt work.

    Meditations -
    Quitting porn is just one step in transforming your life. It is merely one of the bricks and you can't focus on it so much that you ignore the others. That's why when people report success they report other points of their life suddenly becoming better. That's not true. Other parts of their lives are better because they have improved them. Break from the idea of "I'll start working out when I hit a week" or "I'll start talking and studying female sexual dynamics" when I hit one week. Naw bruh it doesn't work like that. Build your willpower through other means as well. Resist fast food and cook semihealthy home meal*Bam* willpower increased. Resisting TV watching and instead clean and listen to educational podcasts *Bam* willpower raised

    In good news, I've had three girls hit me up around the same time. Including one girl who works with me. She suddenly came up and start chatting me up. I was also more charismatic and was not really nervous

    In bad news learning this Windows Server bullshit is confusing. But I'm assuming it has a lot less to do with the actual networking and more with how they didn't prepare and had to adjust because of timing.timing.

    ------

    This insomnia is maddening.
     
    Last edited: Jun 11, 2020

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