Softly Softly Catchee Monkey

Discussion in 'Ages 25-29' started by 200DaysMission, Jun 13, 2021.

  1. -Luke-

    -Luke- Well-Known Member

    I have definitely experienced (and I think other people have too) that withdrawal symptoms can amplify negative feelings. Normally you feel it a bit, but you can deal with it pretty easily. With the increased stress from being away from the "drug of choice", that's no longer the case and it gets more difficult. Being aware of that helps.
    200DaysMission likes this.
  2. 200DaysMission

    200DaysMission Active Member

    Day 42

    I've managed to bring my anxiety back under control which is a good start.
    Maybe by tomorrow I'll even be excited for the move to the new city! I'll be heading off just after lunch.

    It's going to be the cleanest slate anyone could wish for - I only know one person in the whole city actually.
    So a good opportunity, even if it's a little terrifying.
    I'll grab Tinder again I think, but I also want to join a football team, and make friends at work (when I get a job, lol).
    Those things, plus forming good relationships with my housemates, will be a solid start.
    The bonus round is asking girls for their numbers in situations where I haven't previously, and as soon as I notice those nonverbal invitations.

    It's the last part that scares me the most, but there's some excitement there too.
    It'll be a crash course in appearing confident even when I'm not feeling confident, and I would like to learn how to do this better in every area of my life.
  3. 200DaysMission

    200DaysMission Active Member

    Day 43

    It's been a good first few hours here in my new city/country.
    I did a little bit of exploring (and found a place to get cheap groceries), and a lot of unpacking.
    I've been pretty tired what with all the upheaval, and also E asked me to come over at 1am bcos she was having a panic attack, and I ended up staying the night. It was quite fun actually.

    At the minute it's just me and my landlord here, but she's really welcoming and we're watching a film tonight I think.
    Then a couple more girls are moving in over the course of September. I'm quietly pleased about that.

    So promising start, tomorrow my to-do list is to get Tinder, and to join a gym! And do a work out there - I can't wait, I've never lived so close to such a cheap gym before.
    And I've found some work, so the financial pressure is pretty much off too.

    Will keep updating regularly until I feel settled in.
    MindPoison and -Luke- like this.
  4. MindPoison

    MindPoison Active Member

    Nice to see everything's going good. I also want to move elsewhere eventually, so it'll be pretty exciting to start a new chapter.
    200DaysMission likes this.
  5. 200DaysMission

    200DaysMission Active Member

    Day 44

    Thanks for checking in @MindPoison - I hope you get your fresh start too.

    It's been another good day over here.
    Me and my housemate have bonded well so far - she's quite uninhibited really, and I think she might be quite open to helping me with those things too. She already showed me her boobs, lol.
    She's basically a massive hippy, and it'd be nice to try some hippy-ish things, even if only once.

    I also love the city, I have never lived in one properly before.
    But it's only ten minutes to the gym (so I will go 6 days a week hopefully), ten minutes to the supermarket, ten minutes to the pub, ten minutes to a spice shop.
    This convenience is really new to me and I'm heading out and about lots to explore! The only downside is how loud and busy all the streets are, but luckily my house is quiet.

    Reboot-wise, things are good. I haven't thought about porn really.
    And abstaining is so much easier in a new setting - I always feel a bit uncomfortable masturbating in a new place, so it's quite easy to put off those urges for a long time.

    Another workout today, a bit of shopping, then answering some emails I think. I'm going to take it fairly easy until I start work on Monday.
    MindPoison likes this.
  6. -Luke-

    -Luke- Well-Known Member

    You're not looking for another housemate by any chance? Asking for a friend.
    200DaysMission likes this.
  7. 200DaysMission

    200DaysMission Active Member

    Haha XD
    I'll put a word in, don't worry
  8. 200DaysMission

    200DaysMission Active Member

    Day 45

    Half way through the reboot I guess! That's nice.
    It feels like plain sailing at the minute, but I'll keep on my toes.

    I love being so close to the gym.
    Like, I always told myself that if I had one close to me I'd go every day, so I am not surprised by my motivation but it's also nice to have predicted it accurately.
    Hopefully it means I'll get in the best shape of my life. Which would be an amazing feeling, as I've felt good in myself before and I'm sure I'd feel the same again if I got back there (or even surpassed it).

    Tonight I might go to my local pub, and sit and watch the karaoke for a bit, haha.
    It's a very traditional pub, so I'll be the youngest person there, but I don't mind so much and the beer is VERY cheap.
  9. 200DaysMission

    200DaysMission Active Member

    Day 46

    My uninhibited housemate wants to cuddle up and watch a film together, which will be nice - I really enjoy that kind of physical intimacy. We had a hug that lasted a couple of minutes this morning.
    Still loving the gym, too. I'm still pretty sore because it's working a lot of muscles that I struggled to train through home workouts, but it's a nice soreness. And I've probably added an extra 700/800 calories to my diet each day without putting on any belly weight, so I think the extra eating is going to good places (I'm a bit too skinny, so this is a nice feeling too).

    I start a new job tomorrow, it's a two week trial so I want to make a good impression.
    My big aim is to be confident, and self-assured, or at least to come across in that way even if I don't feel it inside.
    Another week at the gym behind me would be ideal, but I still think I can do it. Or I'll still try my best.
  10. 200DaysMission

    200DaysMission Active Member

    Day 48

    First day at the new job today.
    I thought it was a two-week trial, but it's actually just two weeks of funding they have, so it's less certain that it will be extended but still good practice.

    I came across pretty well, and felt pretty unanxious too, which is rare for me.
    I was assured, and friendly.
    Except for with one woman - she is obviously the kind of woman who hates men, and especially young men. So I made no effort.
    Also she was just sat there talking about herself to this really nice girl who was much younger (who I had a nicer vibe with). So gross.

    I hit the gym, and then think I'm cuddling up with my housemate and watching a film tonight, which will be nice.
    She says she is just a hugger and it's platonic, but some of the language and compliments she says makes me think she might have a crush on me.
    Might find out tonight, but I'm not going to force anything and happy just to enjoy some intimacy.
    Also having really nice Tinder chats with a girl for the past day or so, and I think we'll probably meet. She's super nice, so I'd be pretty excited for that.
  11. 200DaysMission

    200DaysMission Active Member

    Day 49

    We had our little cuddle evening, it was nice but definitely platonic from my end and I didn't get many erections.
    Whereas with girls I'm attracted to they're normally popping off all over the place haha. (especially during a reboot)

    Also 7 days straight of the gym!
    I'll take a day off tomorrow probably.

    Not going to write much more because my computer is overheating, it's so hot and sticky here, but I quite like it.

    Day 50 tomorrow! Woop woop
    MindPoison, TrueDat and -Luke- like this.
  12. 200DaysMission

    200DaysMission Active Member

    Day 52

    Well me and my housemate did some more cuddling and it escalated and became sexual.
    I had PE, but it was still nice, even if not super intense (and I'm not really that attracted to her tbh).

    It's hard to tell whether the PE is just high sensitivity from abstaining, or whether it's performance anxiety. I came clean about the performance anxiety (not the reboot though) and she's happy for things to happen again and I'm good at making sure she'd get things out of these encounters too.
    Next time, I'll take a Priligy and see what happens. Does anyone else have any other tips?

    I would give quite a lot to be able to have solid erections and decent stamina with new sexual partners.
    I had this when I was a teenager, which makes it even more frustrating that it's lost.
    And I think it's partly the P, but also partly all the other anxieties that have crept into my life as I've grown older. There's a lot more weighing me down.
    But maybe it's the abstinence more than anything, and I'm asking too much (although I did used to have PIED too).

    The rest of my life is good though - it's my second weekend in my new city.
    My relationship with the gym is great too, as it gets me out of the house, progressing physically, and around new people.
    My body is changing and swelling and firming up too, which is great.
  13. 200DaysMission

    200DaysMission Active Member

    Day 55

    I am sick, but otherwise fine and the reboot continues.
    I've paused socialising, and even the gym at the minute, because I just need to recover.
    Very excited to get back on it though.
  14. 200DaysMission

    200DaysMission Active Member

    Day 64

    Well it's been a while, although I still don't have much to say about the reboot.
    Which is good!
    It's going well, I'm not tempted and I haven't peeked.
    There's been a couple of times where I've seen links to things that I knew I would find arousing if I clicked, but I managed to rationalise these moments really quickly.

    I've mainly just been sick though! Although much better these past few days, and back to the gym.
    Work is going well - my job is super easy compared to the last one I had, so my life is less stressful.
    And a new housemate moved in today, we got on amazingly well. I'm happy with how I came across, and mega excited to spend a year with her.
    Can't wait to see her tomorrow tbh, it'll be lovely coming home to some chats and hugs with her.
    She's gorgeous too, and completely my type, but I think I'm going to keep my brain away from those things for a while. Very very early days, and I think when I start to see girls in that way they become less likely to be attracted to me. So I'll keep my chill - I've got better at that these past couple of years.
    MindPoison likes this.
  15. MindPoison

    MindPoison Active Member

    Good to see you've got things under control, man, and you've got a good streak going on too. Hope you get better from the sickness.

    Much awesomeness,

  16. 200DaysMission

    200DaysMission Active Member

    Thanks MindPoison - I appreciate the encouragement.
    Feeling better now - hit a few PBs in the gym, too.

    Day 66

    Still waiting to see my attractive housemate again properly!
    It's frustrating, until I remember we'll have a whole year together, so regardless of what happens or doesn't happen - time isn't really an issue.
    I bumped into her v briefly yesterday and she ran to give me a hug, but she was heading out. Then today our paths haven't crossed.
    We have an awesome vibe, and I'm excited to taste that vibe again, but of course I'm naturally a lil impatient.

    I'll try and arrange a house night out kinda thing soon though, because it'll be nice to do something as a whole house (and also see her).

    The rest of my life is cool, and I've located a piano I can practice on regularly!!
    I love playing, but it's been out of my life for a couple of years, so super duper excited to be able to build up a routine again and learn some new bits and bobs.
    Or at least stop my level from deteriorating, lol.

    Tomorrow I'm going to go to a social group thing - they're organising a walk and apparently it might turn into a night out.
    Which is good, since I'm thirsty;)
  17. 200DaysMission

    200DaysMission Active Member

    Day 68

    Had some really nice hangs with my fave housemate, and she actually invited me to a music festival all next weekend - just me, her, and her friend (who is also cute). So that'll be fun! She's cool, and kind, and funny, and sparky.
    Really happy with the impression I've left her with, and the potential we have for growing something (even if it doesn't end up romantic).

    Also spoke with my best friend/most attractive girl I know from back home. It's always nice, and turns any day into a great day.

    Also I went to the social group thing, and felt fairly on it in terms of being present/good company.
    It was a good test, although perhaps not an amazing way to meet new people, as I'm quite picky about the people I choose to be friends (but then I keep on investing in friendships once I find the right ones).
    A good way to do things with people though, so I might do some more.

    Piano tomorrow!!
  18. 200DaysMission

    200DaysMission Active Member

    Day 76

    Had a great time at the music festival, really freeing, and without anxiety. Great to get to know my housemates more and more too. Some cracking people.
    I did way too many drugs though, so I've crashed today. But it will pass.

    The reboot is going fine though.
    E came over a couple of nights ago actually, and it was surprisingly nice. I miss her now.
    Also have a date on Saturday.
    So good things, but I'm getting to the stage of finding it stressful/too much going on.
  19. 200DaysMission

    200DaysMission Active Member

    Day 86

    Creeping towards 100 days - it'll be the second time I hit that number I think, and fulfil my username lol. Feels as though I'm on the home stretch.
    Cravings are non-existent honestly, I'm super busy and pretty happy most the time.

    I love spending time with my favourite housemate, I've been on a few dates, and staying over at E's tomorrow. So romantically my life is full.
    Currently riding a little wave of horniness too, which is a nice way to finish.

    However, I'm set on beginning weekly/fortnightly masturbation when I hit 100. Just with sensation, rather than any visual stimulation. And I'll pick a schedule - I think probably weekly on a Saturday, but if I'm busy I'll skip that week without making it up elsewhere.
    I just feel a desire to do something about my sensitivity, to rein it in even a little bit before I sleep with anyone.
    Right now I feel there's a very high chance I'll O during foreplay.
    Then if I start having regular sex I'll cut out the MO once I have a bit more stamina.

    Hope you're all good!
    MindPoison likes this.
  20. 200DaysMission

    200DaysMission Active Member

    Day 94

    Made it past 90 days, and only 6 from a hundred. That's a happy thought :)
    Also, I broke my previous streak when I PMO'ed while high, whereas this week I have smoked a few times without feeling the desire to do that.
    It's some progress that I didn't expect, honestly.

    I'm home for a bit now, it'll be nice to unwind, as things were getting hectic in the city.
    Good hectic, but still hectic.
    There's been some family drama since I've been home already, but I'll have the house to myself for most of next week, and then heading away with some friends for a weekend. So good things on the horizon.

    João Silva and MindPoison like this.

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