Softly Softly Catchee Monkey

Discussion in 'Ages 25-29' started by 100DaysMission, Jun 13, 2021.

  1. -Luke-

    -Luke- Well-Known Member

    I have definitely experienced (and I think other people have too) that withdrawal symptoms can amplify negative feelings. Normally you feel it a bit, but you can deal with it pretty easily. With the increased stress from being away from the "drug of choice", that's no longer the case and it gets more difficult. Being aware of that helps.
     
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  2. 100DaysMission

    100DaysMission Active Member

    Day 42

    I've managed to bring my anxiety back under control which is a good start.
    Maybe by tomorrow I'll even be excited for the move to the new city! I'll be heading off just after lunch.

    It's going to be the cleanest slate anyone could wish for - I only know one person in the whole city actually.
    So a good opportunity, even if it's a little terrifying.
    I'll grab Tinder again I think, but I also want to join a football team, and make friends at work (when I get a job, lol).
    Those things, plus forming good relationships with my housemates, will be a solid start.
    The bonus round is asking girls for their numbers in situations where I haven't previously, and as soon as I notice those nonverbal invitations.

    Eeeeeek.
    It's the last part that scares me the most, but there's some excitement there too.
    It'll be a crash course in appearing confident even when I'm not feeling confident, and I would like to learn how to do this better in every area of my life.
     
  3. 100DaysMission

    100DaysMission Active Member

    Day 43

    It's been a good first few hours here in my new city/country.
    I did a little bit of exploring (and found a place to get cheap groceries), and a lot of unpacking.
    I've been pretty tired what with all the upheaval, and also E asked me to come over at 1am bcos she was having a panic attack, and I ended up staying the night. It was quite fun actually.

    At the minute it's just me and my landlord here, but she's really welcoming and we're watching a film tonight I think.
    Then a couple more girls are moving in over the course of September. I'm quietly pleased about that.

    So promising start, tomorrow my to-do list is to get Tinder, and to join a gym! And do a work out there - I can't wait, I've never lived so close to such a cheap gym before.
    And I've found some work, so the financial pressure is pretty much off too.

    Will keep updating regularly until I feel settled in.
     
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  4. MindPoison

    MindPoison Active Member

    Nice to see everything's going good. I also want to move elsewhere eventually, so it'll be pretty exciting to start a new chapter.
     
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  5. 100DaysMission

    100DaysMission Active Member

    Day 44

    Thanks for checking in @MindPoison - I hope you get your fresh start too.

    It's been another good day over here.
    Me and my housemate have bonded well so far - she's quite uninhibited really, and I think she might be quite open to helping me with those things too. She already showed me her boobs, lol.
    She's basically a massive hippy, and it'd be nice to try some hippy-ish things, even if only once.

    I also love the city, I have never lived in one properly before.
    But it's only ten minutes to the gym (so I will go 6 days a week hopefully), ten minutes to the supermarket, ten minutes to the pub, ten minutes to a spice shop.
    This convenience is really new to me and I'm heading out and about lots to explore! The only downside is how loud and busy all the streets are, but luckily my house is quiet.

    Reboot-wise, things are good. I haven't thought about porn really.
    And abstaining is so much easier in a new setting - I always feel a bit uncomfortable masturbating in a new place, so it's quite easy to put off those urges for a long time.

    Another workout today, a bit of shopping, then answering some emails I think. I'm going to take it fairly easy until I start work on Monday.
     
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  6. -Luke-

    -Luke- Well-Known Member

    You're not looking for another housemate by any chance? Asking for a friend.
     
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  7. 100DaysMission

    100DaysMission Active Member

    Haha XD
    I'll put a word in, don't worry
     
  8. 100DaysMission

    100DaysMission Active Member

    Day 45

    Half way through the reboot I guess! That's nice.
    It feels like plain sailing at the minute, but I'll keep on my toes.

    I love being so close to the gym.
    Like, I always told myself that if I had one close to me I'd go every day, so I am not surprised by my motivation but it's also nice to have predicted it accurately.
    Hopefully it means I'll get in the best shape of my life. Which would be an amazing feeling, as I've felt good in myself before and I'm sure I'd feel the same again if I got back there (or even surpassed it).

    Tonight I might go to my local pub, and sit and watch the karaoke for a bit, haha.
    It's a very traditional pub, so I'll be the youngest person there, but I don't mind so much and the beer is VERY cheap.
     
  9. 100DaysMission

    100DaysMission Active Member

    Day 46

    My uninhibited housemate wants to cuddle up and watch a film together, which will be nice - I really enjoy that kind of physical intimacy. We had a hug that lasted a couple of minutes this morning.
    Still loving the gym, too. I'm still pretty sore because it's working a lot of muscles that I struggled to train through home workouts, but it's a nice soreness. And I've probably added an extra 700/800 calories to my diet each day without putting on any belly weight, so I think the extra eating is going to good places (I'm a bit too skinny, so this is a nice feeling too).

    I start a new job tomorrow, it's a two week trial so I want to make a good impression.
    My big aim is to be confident, and self-assured, or at least to come across in that way even if I don't feel it inside.
    Another week at the gym behind me would be ideal, but I still think I can do it. Or I'll still try my best.
     
  10. 100DaysMission

    100DaysMission Active Member

    Day 48

    First day at the new job today.
    I thought it was a two-week trial, but it's actually just two weeks of funding they have, so it's less certain that it will be extended but still good practice.

    I came across pretty well, and felt pretty unanxious too, which is rare for me.
    I was assured, and friendly.
    Except for with one woman - she is obviously the kind of woman who hates men, and especially young men. So I made no effort.
    Also she was just sat there talking about herself to this really nice girl who was much younger (who I had a nicer vibe with). So gross.

    I hit the gym, and then think I'm cuddling up with my housemate and watching a film tonight, which will be nice.
    She says she is just a hugger and it's platonic, but some of the language and compliments she says makes me think she might have a crush on me.
    Might find out tonight, but I'm not going to force anything and happy just to enjoy some intimacy.
    Also having really nice Tinder chats with a girl for the past day or so, and I think we'll probably meet. She's super nice, so I'd be pretty excited for that.
     
  11. 100DaysMission

    100DaysMission Active Member

    Day 49

    We had our little cuddle evening, it was nice but definitely platonic from my end and I didn't get many erections.
    Whereas with girls I'm attracted to they're normally popping off all over the place haha. (especially during a reboot)

    Also 7 days straight of the gym!
    I'll take a day off tomorrow probably.

    Not going to write much more because my computer is overheating, it's so hot and sticky here, but I quite like it.

    Day 50 tomorrow! Woop woop
     
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  12. 100DaysMission

    100DaysMission Active Member

    Day 52

    Well me and my housemate did some more cuddling and it escalated and became sexual.
    I had PE, but it was still nice, even if not super intense (and I'm not really that attracted to her tbh).

    It's hard to tell whether the PE is just high sensitivity from abstaining, or whether it's performance anxiety. I came clean about the performance anxiety (not the reboot though) and she's happy for things to happen again and I'm good at making sure she'd get things out of these encounters too.
    Next time, I'll take a Priligy and see what happens. Does anyone else have any other tips?

    I would give quite a lot to be able to have solid erections and decent stamina with new sexual partners.
    I had this when I was a teenager, which makes it even more frustrating that it's lost.
    And I think it's partly the P, but also partly all the other anxieties that have crept into my life as I've grown older. There's a lot more weighing me down.
    But maybe it's the abstinence more than anything, and I'm asking too much (although I did used to have PIED too).

    The rest of my life is good though - it's my second weekend in my new city.
    My relationship with the gym is great too, as it gets me out of the house, progressing physically, and around new people.
    My body is changing and swelling and firming up too, which is great.
     
  13. 100DaysMission

    100DaysMission Active Member

    Day 55

    I am sick, but otherwise fine and the reboot continues.
    I've paused socialising, and even the gym at the minute, because I just need to recover.
    Very excited to get back on it though.
     

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