...so I asked her: "Can I give you my number"?

Discussion in 'Social Advice' started by WaveRace, Sep 18, 2014.

  1. WaveRace

    WaveRace New Member

    I walk into my Math lab at College and see a woman siting alone. I go to the table, sit down, we smile and nod, and I get working on my math. There is some brief eye contact and a bit of chit chat about what each is working on. Generally not a social setting but more of a go in to get help with your work.

    After like an hour, she starts packing up to leave, and I ask if I can walk with her. She says yeah sure. So we walk along a path and go into one of the buildings and she says, well I have to go.

    I say - "Can I give you my number"? In retrospect, I didn't really determine if there was a connection or ask to hangout or hey maybe coffee or whatever. I just did the # question as the core of it.

    Her response was - "Um, I don't really think I need it, honestly". That was it. Left it there.

    A variety of thoughts come up. Sometimes people are just not interested. Also, I think I botched this approach big time in reality.
     
  2. gameover

    gameover Age: 26

    A good example of 'Real world vs Hollywood'

    This could happen 5, 10, 20 more times in a row and then the hottest girl you asked so far could be the one to give you her number. It doesn't make much sense to me but it all comes down to finding a girl that is just as interested as you.
     
  3. TheAlternative

    TheAlternative New Member

    First of all, kudos for actually making the approach - a lot of guys would have been too scared. Possibly a few things were going on but that isn't important. Probably better to make small talk and get to know her a bit before trying for a close that soon. Odds are you might see her again at the same lab another time.

    The words "can I give you my number?" just screams insecurity. A better statement might have been "I have a free afternoon, want to grab a coffee/meal/study together tomorrow?" or something along those lines. Simple, declarative and if she is interested it is a simple yes or no. You didn't botch it but next time just think about how you phrase things.
     
  4. TheBorb

    TheBorb Bullshit detector

    I get given numbers. I've never asked. Never. I'm not even lying.

    Make of that what you will.
     
  5. ChrisHaven

    ChrisHaven Member

    Oh lord. Dude. It takes balls to approach an attractive woman- good for you. If you want her number next time, as you walk with her (if you find her attractive), just SAY it!

    Her: "So I have to go now "
    You: "Cool- well, it was nice chatting with you. Random...I'm a little nervous to say this, but I find you really attractive."
    Her: "Oh...thanks :)"
    You: "Listen..I'd love to chat more some time. Whats your number?"

    You'll either get a yes or a no. But you know what? She'll be more likely to be attracted to you, because women are attracted to confident men. Confident men are men who have courage.Courage means doing something you fear inspite of your fear. She will recognize your confidence because most guys use the indirect approach.

    Confident men get the number. Overthinking is for women. You approached her- pat yourself on the back, use the above approach next time and stay confident,brother.
     
  6. Agreed.
    Never offer your number. It shows lack of confidence on a deeper lever...
     
  7. JG55

    JG55 Member

    Yeah maybe phrase it differently. Just asking to meet up for a drink or coffee sounds good.

    Also, did you speak at all while you were sitting with her? Personally I would've felt the water a little bit before going for the big at bat. Good for you for going for it though! That is without doubt the most important part :).
     
  8. dadondon

    dadondon New Member

    You might want to be more assertive instead of saying

    "can I walk with you" say "where are you parked" then say "oh me too I'll walk with you" when she answers. Instead of "can I give you my number" say "whats your number"
     
  9. kopp

    kopp Member

    This guy is right.

    You did pretty well, except for that line that smells insecurity. Don't overthink about it, you just were lacking a lil bit of confidence. :)

    Congratz for doing it
     

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