Slowly Getting Older

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by 200DaysMission, Apr 10, 2016.

  1. 200DaysMission

    200DaysMission Active Member

    I'm busy with lots of things, but pretty happy and contented.

    I had a period of was when the forum was down. That didn't contribute to my first PMO, but it didn't help afterwards...still, it's no excuse really. And I'm over the hump again.

    But yeah, busy busy busy. Some exciting things, some not exciting things.

    I feel I could sleep for a week!
    deadofwinter likes this.
  2. deadofwinter

    deadofwinter Active Member

    The forum black-out was weird!

    Glad to see you're back on the wagon, I'm right there with you.
    Good luck and check in some times
  3. deadofwinter

    deadofwinter Active Member

    I see you relapsed. Don't binge and you'll be fine. Good lucksies!
  4. 200DaysMission

    200DaysMission Active Member

    I need to pull myself out of this.

    I go away in a month, but I want to be clean going into that, as opposed to using going away as an opportunity to get clean.

    I need to be a lot harder on myself. I feel in the midst of compulsion again.
    Some bad porn too.

    The rest of my life is fine, and I'm continuing many good habits and have even started learning a new language. Though I have no interest in meeting girls atm. It's probably half due to PMO'ing again, and half due to going away. I'm not going to jump into a relationship, and I've never been very good at getting anything less serious.

    I'm just going to avoid porn, and not force anything with girls. I'm sure I'll meet someone who lights me up, provided I steer clear of this shit.

    I'm in control of the rest of my life, but it's a slippery slope - I need to stay focused and productive!!

    A little angry at myself, but not angry enough. I need to care again...Come on, here we go.
  5. deadofwinter

    deadofwinter Active Member

    We've learned a lot the past year on this forum. Let's use our reboot wisdom and succeed again.

    ugh! I hope you're doing better than me!
  6. 200DaysMission

    200DaysMission Active Member

    Preach it brother.

    I'm not really yet, but we can do this!!
    deadofwinter likes this.
  7. dontgiveup

    dontgiveup Member

    12 days already, keep it up bro!
    200DaysMission and deadofwinter like this.
  8. 200DaysMission

    200DaysMission Active Member

    Well I've been pretty quiet, but it's been a lot of fun keeping up with everyone's progress.
    Nearly everyone I follow is having a bit of luck at the minute, or so it seems. Long may it continue!

    I am well. I've been busy with work, and have a few things to tie up before I head on my travels for a few months. I'm very excited, and glad that I've got a little streak together - it's really important I keep it until I go away. Then, theoretically, I should be in the clear for a while!

    It's amazing how quickly an interest in real girls returns too. A couple of weeks there was nothing, but I've started to fall for a girl at work a little bit already.
    Also, incidentally I don't use Tinder anymore, I'll maybe give it another go in September, when I'll be more open to a relationship.

    I've been pretty happy lately, and have had some nice experiences and many good days. Just it feels like my life is paused, and everything is winding down before I leave (finishing work, selling things, moving out of a house). There's so much upheaval for me, but I'll come back to the UK and everything will be the same again. But that's just the way it is.
    I'm good at just doing things...signing up for things and preparing myself on the way. Fingers crossed I've got everything in place haha.

    I am very motivated to have a really challenging, rewarding, and fulfilling summer/autumn :)

    Anyway, I hope everyone is well, and that it's a good weekend for all!
    deadofwinter, dontgiveup and Londoner like this.
  9. 200DaysMission

    200DaysMission Active Member

    I KEPT my streak, and I have a month behind me, and I go away tomorrow - how EXCITING...ahhhhhhhh.

    I will not be on this forum until I return, but I will be thinking of so many of you so often, and I really hope you all have an amazing few months - fight the good fight! Thanks for all your support, I will miss hearing about your goings-on!!

    Ugh, I can't wait to go, there are so many wonderful things to look forward to, and I feel in a good place really. I'm actually looking forward to meeting new people, and just leaving everything behind for a while, even though I love my life here in the UK!

    See you soon!!!!!
    Londoner, deadofwinter and AyyLMAO like this.
  10. deadofwinter

    deadofwinter Active Member

    Wow! best of luck my friend, and have a good time! You'll probably won't read this anymore, but I know my feels will travel overseas to give you even more motivation!
    It will be great

    see you later!

    PS: congrats on keeping your streak!!
    200DaysMission likes this.
  11. 200DaysMission

    200DaysMission Active Member

    I've returned.

    I have stories, and progress, and failures, and gossip, and thoughts.

    I haven't decided what to share.

    I guess I'll keep it brief.

    I can't see where my counter has gone, but I'm 136 days no porn.
    In that time I MO'd once, without any stimulus.
    I have a girlfriend, but she lives far away.

    Hope everyone is well, I have some catching up to do:)
  12. deadofwinter

    deadofwinter Active Member

  13. Londoner

    Londoner Well-Known Member

    Welcome back! :)

    Tell us what went well and why.
  14. 200DaysMission

    200DaysMission Active Member

    Thanks guys, it's great to hear from you, and check out your journals.

    HowToKapow - I've had two or three streaks similar in length to this one, so I was expecting benefits, and they came again. I only spent about a month and a half retaining semen, which certainly houses most of the super-human benefits people feel.
    However, having a healthy sexuality that isn't attached to shame in any way, gives such a wide-reaching boost to your life, and your mental health. I think that's the most important thing.
    People often get caught up about whether to masturbate during a reboot, and whether to abstain from sex as well. My advice would be, do whatever stops you feeling guilty about your sexuality.

    I had about a month without PMO or MO before I left on my travels, and I think that helped me a lot. Once I had a new environment to be a part of, even initially when I wasn't in a relationship, it was really easy to stay on track. It doesn't guarantee long-term success, but a fresh start in life has always given me a good base to start a streak.

    When I made it abroad I actually found myself in relatively new ground. I had 3 girls who were quite obsessed with me romantically, and it was a really good confidence boost. It of course led to problems, but eventually I started dating one of them quite seriously.
    I really like her, a reboot perspective we had 99% successful sex, which I'm really happy with. The 1% accounts for once when we changed position, and I lost my erection. It was really nice to have sex and not worry about getting hard or staying hard.

    So I'm in a good place in lots of different ways.

    I'm still with my girlfriend but we haven't seen each other for 5 weeks, so it's going to be a case of trying to make things work over long distance for a while. But she's worth it, and I've never been so happy with a girl.

    It just generally feels good to be able to have a break from chasing demons out of my head all of the time. I'm not perfect, but I'm accepting and kind to myself, and I feel a sense of security that I never had while I was regularly PMO'ing.
    deadofwinter and Londoner like this.
  15. CidGuerreiro

    CidGuerreiro Well-Known Member

    Man, that's some amazing progress you have there, and it's awesome that you have someone special to share it with. Keep it up!
  16. 200DaysMission

    200DaysMission Active Member

    A belated update, but one I need to write.

    I really miss my girlfriend, and it may be another 3 months before we can see each other. But that's okay, we're strong, and it's about the time we've spent apart already, so it's nice to at least be halfway.

    *Mild trigger warning*

    She really likes mutual masturbation though, where we send each other videos of us touching ourselves, and doing similar things. It's exciting, and we've maybe only done it 6-7 times in three months.
    It's a really important part of the relationship for her, because she gets scared I'm not attracted to her sexually anymore, which isn't the case.
    But I'm scared of over-indulging, and risking ED again (which I've told her about).
    I brought up cutting out masturbation a couple of weeks ago, and I might follow through with it now.
    Today I self-medicated with PMO to one of her videos for the first time, because I was missing her so bad, and I think that's the first warning sign I've had.

    I miss her like crazy, and it hurts. I still think I have a completely healthy attraction to her though, and I know she'll try her best to be understanding. I will still fantasise with her, and she asked if she could still send me photos (though I won't dwell on them), and I think that'll be okay.
    I'm going to stop touching my dick though, I feel sure about that. I'll speak to her!

    Anyway, I came here to make myself accountable, and to admit that things are still up and down in terms of the reboot.

    Is it porn, is it not porn, who knows. Probably. I have no counter anyway. I just miss her so much.
  17. Lifeisbeautiful

    Lifeisbeautiful Active Member

    Only you can decide that. Does it feel like porn? Do you feel compulsive about it? How do you feel after MOing to it? In my opinion a video cannot be equated with a real thing and you may try and convince your girlfriend of that. But again it's how you feel about it that matters.
  18. deadofwinter

    deadofwinter Active Member

    It might not be porn but it might make the step to porn a bit too easy. Man, I'm in a weird way happy for you that you have someone you can miss so much and who misses you too! :)
  19. 200DaysMission

    200DaysMission Active Member

    You guys are awesome - thanks!

    It doesn't feel like porn, but I still feel guilty. I don't look forward to it, or obsess about it, I just do it because it makes her happy. I feel shitty after, haha.
    But I spoke to her, and she wanted to masturbate one more time together and then she's happy to leave it. I think that's fair, but it also makes her sound like an addict, haha.

    Thanks DoW, it is nice, but it also kinda sucks a lot. The distance is easy, it's the time difference that's hard. I'm still sure it'll all be worth it, but some days are really rough.
  20. 200DaysMission

    200DaysMission Active Member

    Well, it's been another month.
    The LDR is going well,
    I've begun abstaining from masturbation again.
    She still sends the occasional raunchy video or picture, but it's all good and I feel in a good place.

    Think I'm falling in love, for the first time.
    Excited to see her in January, I booked my flights a couple of weeks ago. Been a happy time, and I'm feeling very hopeful.

    I still check in here every day, hope you guys are all well! And I'm reading through journals even though I rarely comment.
    Keep fighting the good fight, and thanks for your support.
    Londoner, deadofwinter and 1234dyl like this.

Share This Page