Similarities Between Porn and Amazon Buying Addiction?

Discussion in 'Internet Addiction' started by stretcher, May 22, 2013.

  1. stretcher

    stretcher New Member

    It just dawned on me today:

    I've spent a *ton* of money online, thanks to porn. Hardly any of it was ever spent on porn as such, though. A psychologist might tell me I'm wrong, but I suspect that spending hours and days and weeks and months and years in a state of constant desire stoked by porn, I put myself in a heightened state of needing to satiate desires in other ways as well. Buying books. I have literally hundreds, maybe even a thousand books that I've bought via Amazon that I can't possibly read in this lifetime. Books on the most obscure topics (medieval Greek mysticism? the conflict between the British and Russian empires in Central Asia throughout the 19th century? really?!), books I can't possibly have any need for.

    But I bought/buy them because they're like the shiny object on the ground that I have to get as soon as I see it. I have no self-control - I have to have it. It's like the shrinks say, what we truly desire is not the object of our desires, but desire itself. Porn is gratifying because it puts you in a constant state of desire - that state of desire is more important than any of the porn you look at.

    I even noticed my book buying habits are the same as my porn viewing habits. How much time do I actually spend watching the videos that I'm surfing through? Almost none. Probably 95% is spent surfing through tube sites and then, after 3-4 hours, I'll have the willpower to stop and tell myself to just find *something, anything* to jerk off to and do it.

    I spend 95% of my time surfing porn, 5% actually viewing it. By the same token, I can easily spend hours and hours at a whack looking through titles on Amazon, but once something arrives in the mail, I'll read the introduction to it and that's it. It goes on top of one of the stacks of books I have by my bed (there are four, each at least a foot high), all of which were impulse purchases.

    Does this happen to anyone else?
     
  2. ThermogenicBeef

    ThermogenicBeef New Member

    I can't speak too much about porn addiction as compared to the Amazon buying addiction, but I'm completely with you on the Amazon habit!

    Especially books. Over 80% of my bookshelf features those that I have bought and hardly read but "plan" (yeah, right) to eventually get to. Guests marvel at my shelf and ask me all kinds of questions about the books I have, and it absolutely sucks that most of my responses are, "Yeah... haven't read that one yet, but I'm going to soon!"

    On the contrary, I'm halfway through Phil Jackson's "Eleven Rings", but that's easy because right now my interest is heavily vested in it since the NBA playoffs are in the thick of things.

    I've always wanted to read Joseph Heller's "Catch-22". It's been on my bookshelf since August 2008 and I've never picked it up once.

    I do the same exact thing as you -- read the synopsis on Amazon, check out some reviews, buy, receive, look at it, put it down and never return to it!
     
  3. dlansky

    dlansky A husband and father trying to do right.

    Very interesting idea. I do have a history of buying things that momentarily interested me, such as books at music, every time convincing myself that I'd be content if only I got that one more thing, and that I'd never quite be content if I didn't.

    As a result, I've spent thousands of dollars on music in my life, and certainly hundreds on books that I still plan to get around reading, when I have the time, but first, there's another new book out that looks even more interesting, and maybe I should start by buying that one ...

    I don't know if pornography is the cause of that, per se, but there is definitely a parallel between looking for that high of acquiring that one more book, CD or other purchase that you think will satisfy you, and trying to find that one bit of pornography that you think will do the trick. Perhaps it is a lack of maturity that leads us to think that every craving or momentary interest needs to be satisfied.

    Reminds me something I recently heard on the radio: Maturity is giving up what you want right now for what you want most.
     

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