Should I make this change?

Discussion in 'Pornography Addiction' started by WilltoPower, Feb 11, 2020.

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  1. WilltoPower

    WilltoPower Member

    I cannot be objective in this decision, and I am hoping to get a few responses that will help me to decide.

    I currently am using the software Pluckeye to filter pornography out of my computer. If you are unfamiliar, Pluckeye blocks ALL images and videos on the net unless you "allow" them on certain websites and even specific pages by pressing a button provided on the tool bar of the browser. The images and videos do not appear until after a predetermined time delay transpires. I have set mine for one hour so if I press the allow button on website x, images will not become visible until after the hour has transpired. This has two advantages: 1. I cannot make impulse decisions or I can at least reverse those decisions, and 2. I cannot get to pornography via google images which is usually a loophole for other filters.

    It has one big disadvantage, however. I am an American university student, and I have projects that require me to search for images. You can imagine how difficult it is to find images when I have to wait an hour before I can see them.

    I relapsed over the weekend after uninstalling Pluckeye and installing Cold Turkey. Look at my journal to see more details of my relapse if you think that this will have relevance to the decision. I reinstalled Pluckeye out of a rash decision to stop myself from binging. What I did not think about in that moment is that I could have used Cold Turkey to temporarily shut me out of the internet.

    Now I could absolutely switch back to Cold Turkey, but I will still be able to get to porn very easily via search engine images and videos.

    I don't know that relying on filters is a good idea anymore, but I want to hear what you all say. I could also ask my therapist in two weeks, but I have a major project that needs images that I must analyze just days after that appointment, and that will be insufficient time to finish the assignment while having to take care of all my other responsibilities.

    Could I get your thoughts, please?
     
    Last edited: Feb 11, 2020
  2. Pete McVries

    Pete McVries Well-Known Member

    Can you gather these images in a pre-planned timeframe or do you need to search for these images spontaneously? If not, go to a library or a public space with wlan if you have a notebook or a similar device and do the job there.

    Generally, I'd strongly advise against using this unlock button ever. You are basically training your brain for a delayed stimulus. Ideally, you set up your blocker and never touch it again. It's a very slippery slope. No blocker is bulletproof in my opinion. Playing around with a blocker regularly usually ends in a relapse sooner or later.

    Take care!
     
    Merton likes this.
  3. Mickeymouse

    Mickeymouse Active Member

    I would advise you to sit with a very pious friend and than start searching if you are uninstalling the software. You are in a better place mate do not worsen it by doing pmo. I am telling you I am regretting it. I wish somebody should have said me this well in advance some 4-5 yrs back and my situation would have been better. Pmo has given me insomnia, depression , anxiety , stomach issues , ed tiredness , fatigue low concentration. For god's sake getting a degree can never be more imp than getting sleep and other important functions .It might take hourse but you are achieving both a degree and a good life..
     
  4. Rebel

    Rebel Member

    Check this out:

    1-Forticlient 6.0.2 (older but better)

    Blocks All porn and proxies

    For Windows 32-bit:

    https://www.mediafire.com/file/q6ifsya11hgf9yp/FortiClientSetup_6.0.2.0128.zip/file

    For Windows 64-bit:

    https://www.mediafire.com/file/q41ptjn4kzffpvj/FortiClientSetup_6.0.2.0128_x64.zip/file

    Setting up FortiClient (IMPORTANT):

    https://www.flickr.com/photos/183874060@N08/albums/72157710598034653

    +someone to lock it with a password

    2-Fapsecure

    Forces safe search on: google, bing, duckduckgo, yandex and many more. It also blocks image and video search on search engines that do not support safe search.

    It does not filter youtube.

    You can't uninstall it, so it's effects are PERMANENT.

    Download:
    http://www.mediafire.com/file/9ixmviaaun3madi/Fapsecure1.3.0.rar/file

    ----------------

    You could use those additional software, they don't cause any problems and you won't even feel they are there.

    Fapsecure certainly needs some updating, but it locks the safe search permanently.

    I tried pluckeye in 2016&2017, but it just made the internet useless for me, I couldn't bear it. But if it helps you then keep it.

    Maybe fapsecure will be beneficial if you decide to choose Coldturkey, and forticlient never misses a site.
     
    Last edited: Feb 12, 2020 at 12:53 PM
    WilltoPower likes this.
  5. forlorn

    forlorn Well-Known Member

    Get rid of the blocker IMO.

    Try making a list of the main negative consequences you experience by looking at porn. In the early stages, review the list hourly (or as frequently as you can). You need to aim to be in a situation where you choose not to look at porn because of those reasons, e.g. its damaging your sexuality, ruining your self respect etc. Use this knowledge (the list you create) to choose to avoid looking at porn (rather than being forced not to look because of a blocker)

    Pleased to hear you're having a better experience with the new therapist, stick with it.
     
    Merton and WilltoPower like this.
  6. WilltoPower

    WilltoPower Member

    Thank you everyone for your replies. I switched over software yesterday as Rebel suggested and of course I "tested" it before installing Fapscure. I think that I have been relying on filters for too long, and I'm going to take the advice of Forlorn and Pete. I'm going to go ahead and remove the filters. I can always come back to reinstall.

    I could write more to explain where I'm at mentally and emotionally right now, but you could just see my journal which is linked in my signature.
     
    DoneAtLast and Rebel like this.
  7. Living

    Living Well-Known Member

    While I completely agree with @forlorn that learning to deal with porn is important and definitly prefered over not dealing with it, I do see some good in blockers these days. It does matter how you use them though. I think they can be benificial as another barrier between you and porn, but I don't think one should see them as the thing that keeps them away from porn. You can't rely on a blocker to solve this for you, there will always be possibilities to get to porn one way or another. Besides that, it doesn't really make you stronger against porn, so when you would be exposed to porn you still probably can't handle it very well. However, on some of the harder days it might make a difference between staying up or falling down.
     
    forlorn, WilltoPower and Rebel like this.
  8. WilltoPower

    WilltoPower Member

    This is how I have been using filters for months now. I've done well up until my recent patch of relapses because I was not deciding to use porn, and so I didn't try to get around them. Now when I see porn, I just have very little control to close the window, and walk away. When I switched from Pluckeye to Cold Turkey, I wasn't actually searching for hardcore pornography. I was searching for an image that was very much on the line. It was obviously an unhealthy behavior, but again, I wasn't actually looking for porn. When the porn image popped on my screen, I just didn't even hesitate to expand the image. I've been pretty much preoccupied with porn until today. I'll be removing the filters in a few hours so I kinda expect that preocupation to come back, but at this point, I don't think I can use filters healthily.
     
    Living likes this.
  9. Living

    Living Well-Known Member

    Probably, but this is where you start learning to deal with porn and that's what matters in my opinion.
     
    WilltoPower likes this.
  10. DoneAtLast

    DoneAtLast Active Member

    A late comer to this thread, but I'll confirm that getting rid of that particular blocker isn't "porn brain" playing a trick on you. You had practical things you needed to do and the blocker was getting in the way. That is the problem with ANY blocker. K9 (when it was around) was the only blocker I found that was reasonably seamless.
     
  11. WilltoPower

    WilltoPower Member

    Still don't know what to do. I mean I'm getting therapy now do hopefully we'll figure out my individual recovery plan, but there's still another week before I'm on the couch again and we'll only have an hour. Then it will be a 2 week rotation. I assume your day counter is accurate. If you have any practical tips, I'm all ears.
     
  12. DoneAtLast

    DoneAtLast Active Member

    It is hard to know what anyone's silver bullet will be. Therapists (the good ones, anyway) know not to promise stuff like that, so some guy on a message board certainly isn't going to figure it out.

    What I will say is that let the relapses be learning experiences. Why did you relapse? Was it a website? A habit? Were you thinking about something? Did something make you feel good? Feel bad? I took a quick peak at your journal, and in the opening you identify some historical facts about yourself relating to sex and relationships, while your recovery efforts seem to tackle the other aspects. Sex and relationship anxiety can be such a huge trigger, and it only gets worse when we say "I'd only be able to kick porn if..." and go back to working on other stuff. There are patterns of thinking we can change to not only get off of porn, but just make ourselves better people. For me, there was something about seeing happy families together in public. If the mom was attractive I guess that contributed, but it was entirely non-sexual (not in the pornographic sense), but it was just about the FOMO of it all, and porn was my drug to treat that hurt. Seeing women that looked like porn models wasn't often a trigger... at least not nearly as severe. I'm sure your story is dramatically different, but maybe there are some similar patterns.
     
  13. WilltoPower

    WilltoPower Member

    Thank you, @DoneAtLast. "I'd only be able to quit porn if..." is probably the trap I fall into all the time.
     

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