@MissingSelfCompassion I'm curious: on average, do you actually feel like you can get through the day better after relapsing? I have experienced this thought pattern a lot. "I have to do X, but it's too difficult with these urges/withdrawals, so I'm just going to relapse first so that I can get X done." In retrospect though, after relapsing, I would either not get X done at all, have more difficulty getting X done due to the effects of my post-relapse climax, or do X at the same level as I would have had I not relapsed at all. These are just my reflections of course, and I would love to hear about your actual experiences with this.