Hi, I am 21 year old. Just 2 years ago I hooked up with a crossdresser male to female. Felt so much guilt then eventually I forgave myself. But this crossdresser posts porn but I made a fake account after and asked if they do hidden camerea porns they said no they dont do that. But Im so scared of anyone finding out what I did if it gets posted on a porn site because if my family finds out im done for as they have amazing respect for me, and ppl around my neigbourhood and friends. Its been two years and this crossdresser has not posted any video or picture of me on there page for our encounter. fast forward to last week this is where my dark days came I hooked up with a crossdresser again.. who was visiting my city for a couple days I wwent to the hotel asked if they record i asked 5 times they got annoyed because i asked so many times cuz . i was paranoid. Cuz I watched so much pornos where it does hidden camerea catching a straight guy with tranny. I anyways called this 2nd crossdresser to get reassurance pretended like another client asked after our encounter if they have any videos they record that I can buy with them with clients they said no. they dont have it Anyways I really want to step away from porn forever but this mental blockage is stopping me as I constantly check the firsst crossdressers porn page to see if they posted anything even tho it was 2 years ago and this newest encounter is stopping me even more because I really dont want my potential porno to be realsesd that I contantly check porn sites and there escort ad if they posted anything.. I want to step away from pmo because before this I was straight and would never consider these gay expeirences but sorry I typed so much , this is been so hard on me i cant live in mental peace without getting passed this I dont know how to move on from this because I dont trust tthe fact tht the 2 crossdressers said they dont record clients/ppl still bothers me because their word vs mine because I dont want to have the fear of my video potentially being out there thats what i would be thinking about if i stepped away from porn, and theres just so many sites and i cant check them all I want to quit pmo but I have this paranoia that the video is there. Please help me move on.