I wasn't really able to log my thought the way I wanted so here's round number 2. So yesterday night I couldn't sleep and I woke up a few times, and ended up dry humping the mattress very sleep drunk. In hindsight I lacked the mental clarity to refrain from the action and lay on my back, have my hands over the quilt and focus on my breathing to go back to sleep again. For future moments of despair I have repeated this a few times to make sure so I do the right thing . At the moment I am suffering from apathy and low motivation and high withdrawal symptoms. I think a lot of sex and it's essential to regain my focus through mindfulness breathing. It's challenging. However I am feeling confident about myself and dealing with the addiction. Yesterday so realised this is a 2 way addiction, both 1. an internet addiction and 2. a masturbation/orgasm addiction. Pretty daunting now I think of it, but I've gone for months clean before and will do so again. I will make you part of my journey!