Self Empowerment Here We Go My 2 week test

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by CR, Jun 11, 2012.

  1. CR

    CR New Member

    Hey Guys,

    OK so I want to give this a go. I'm 43, I've been using internet porn regularly since practically the beginning of the internet. I have had relationships in that time, long term and short term but I've noticed Porn has become a real escape and crutch for me. I realize I don't even really like porn that much, the quality is nowhere near what being with a partner can be but I fall back on it when I'm stressed or anxious or am afraid to step into my power in the world. I've been feeling less than powerful in creating the things I want to create in the world. I think it would be a great experiment to try no porn for 2 weeks. I know there is a whole 90 day abstinece thing out there but that feels too daunting. I think I can do 2 weeks.

    I'll keep updating this. I'd love your support and feedback to keep me going. I'm a little nervous right now.

    Thanks guys and lets all support each other in becoming better men.
  2. CR

    CR New Member

    thanks, good luck to you too, hows it going after 8 days?
  3. pizzaman

    pizzaman New Member

    Good luck CR.

    you're in the right place!

  4. CR

    CR New Member

    OK, So I'm two days in. Woke up this morning feeling lethargic and unmotivated and a little down. I sat and meditated for a while and focused my attention on my navel. Old self-defeating thoughts roamed through my head and then I felt a wave of strong masculine energy. It said, get up and go do your work in the world. It felt good, really powerful and also some old tension released in my back.

    I'm sitting at my computer now, was working and then felt distracted and had such a strong urge to go onto a porn site.

    Sometimes I realize my porn addiction is a way I stop avoid the fear of stepping into my power in the world. I'm not sure about some of you but in many ways I felt emasculated as a boy. It was not OK to be strong and powerful and say what I wanted. Its kept me from being as fully successful in the world as I would like. Jerking off to porn keeps me weak and takes my life force. I can feel that.

    Anyway, it feels good to write all this down. Grateful for this site. I think I'll be OK the rest of the day. I really don't want to go back to porn.

    All the best to you guys,
  5. Pilgrim

    Pilgrim New Member

    Hi, GR

    I m on my day 7. Just one week ago i thaught it was impossible to be just one fucking day out of porn. And i have one week out. It s possible!
    Hard but possible. And also i would say it is an amazing journey.
    Read other journals, they are inspiring.
    Come here when you need help. You ll find some one to help you.
    Concentrate on each day, or every half day like al1234 said.
    Mood changes very fast. One moment you ll feel so good, high energy. It seems that you won the shit. And suddenly everything can change and feel depressed, lethargic, really bad. And that moments are dangerous because we already know how to find a fast relief... When you ll face this downs (and tou will for sure) keep concentration, ask for help, breath, go for a walk. I m doing medtation and it s helping me a lot.
    Go on! Good luck!
  6. CR

    CR New Member

    Thanks Pilgrim,

    Shit I just fell. Was feeling so good and then got caught and jerked off to porn. OK so now what?

    I'm starting again. Its kind of like 12 step. Maybe I need to call in a higher power. Shit I know I can do it. Just fell this time.

    Thanks for the support guys. I really want to kick this.

  7. hotspur

    hotspur New Member

    Hi, I tried countless times to give up porn...felt totally disappointed that I could never last more than 3 days or so. It is so toxic and habit forming.
    With the help of this site I am at 10 weeks - I think it is a good idea to read up as much as you can on the subject - you really do not feel like giving in once you have read a few journal entries etc.

    I also switched off the wifi in my apartment for a couple of weeks to begin with. Anyway best of luck with it, you can do it...
  8. pizzaman

    pizzaman New Member

    Hang in there CR.
    this is one tough addiction to kick.
    we're with you.

  9. 1Inter

    1Inter New Member

    it will be two weeks this sunday since i masturbated and watched porn.

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