Self Discipline December - monthly accountability thread

Discussion in 'Pornography Addiction' started by YourBrainRebalanced, Dec 1, 2018.

  1. YourBrainRebalanced

    YourBrainRebalanced Administrator Staff Member

    How did November go for you? Things got a bit crazy with the unrelated "No Nut November" meme going around the internet.

    Anyway, it's time for December. Let the community know what your sexual health goals are this month. Let's make this a porn-free December.
     
  2. Freedom from Servitude

    Freedom from Servitude Active Member

    Hi Alexander,

    Have been long term sober, but always happy to commit to threads like this as it gives another a layer of accountability. Here's to another month free of porn and masturbation.
     
  3. Gil79

    Gil79 Seize the day

    October/ November was fall back period for me. Some porn, but mostly occupied with fantasies and edging. Such a large contrast to the period April-September in which I felt in control and generally good and healthy. At the moment suffering from extreme withdrawal symptoms: anger, anxiety, sadness. I don't want to go back to a lifestyle in which I need artificial sexual stimulation to deal with emotions and I don't want to go through these symptoms again.

    My sexual health goals for this month and following, are: abstaining from fantasies, masturbation, ogling and porn(subs) and invest in the intimate sexual interaction with my wife. Up to a healthy and indeed self discipline December!
     
  4. jack91

    jack91 Find your way throuh Staff Member

    Me too. i am always happy to join missions like these. I too love when people are doing something important together and whats more important to be sober! i will be sober for sure. December have started with much temptations though, as a former opioid addict (years sober) i had to take them for operation they did to my nose. This made me feel hazy for few days. And saw opioids after that and was sort of offered them but turned them down. + have been playing and using a lot of internet while i have been staying home recovering from that operation. Its easier now though, they say lots of urges disappear after six months, for me it happened at this point already but im not harrassed by too much urges. Things go on easy.

    To porn free december!! I will not masturbate or watch porn best as i can. My urges tend to drawn more to real girls atm but cant let my guard down and go to prostitutes or whatever because they are porn associated they are much same than using porn. I must know that.
     
  5. Imfree

    Imfree Active Member

    I'm in and already at day 55. December is by far the hardest month of the year to stay clean. If you can do this you can do anything. All of my respectable streaks have been in the summer. Getting winter streak going is a major milestone for me.

    jack91, I'm a current occasional opiod user, but my use is quite atypical (behaviourally and cognitively it is obvious that opiods are a very minor issue for me relative to porn). Opiods combined with porn, that's a doosey! I always found them to be similar in a way though. Starting a PMO binge I would feel heavy duty sedation, often edging for an hour or so, falling asleep in front of the computer and then waking up and getting into a more energetic binge. I always thought that it was strange how sedating the porn was when I could rationally think of how dangerous the behaviour was. Even when I was a teenager, risking getting caught in the act by family, it was sedating. Similiar, but then again not at all similar. The opiates feel morally pure and godly, wheras porn is the opposite. Honestly, opiates really helped me to forgive myself after a binge and I might have harmed myself if I didn't have this assistance.

    I'm not aiming for any serious restriction on masturbation without porn at the moment. Total celibacy can lead to a state of enlightenment, but masturbation without porn is a minor issue for me. I can function at an acceptable level with no-porn masturbation. Abstaining from all masturbation is a way to kick-start deeper healing, but often not a realistic goal.
     
  6. jack91

    jack91 Find your way throuh Staff Member

    Yeah. I in principle can too let myself permission to masturbate and just be normal guy. I allowed myself to masturbate and my mind was okay with it much as possible. It was too hard to drop at one go so it kinda were must situation too. Just could not drop it atm. And my functional levels were sort of low but somehow acceptable. Soon it became obvious that i must stop masturbation too because in principle its okay, take vacation and just be little less functional for awhile you still can do great things. Keep things fun. It was not functional for me in the long run because i started to bore out of my skull. Some functionality can be very boring ride. You can accept yourself and continue it but same time "the rules" say that your life will be less because you give less out.

    I can let myself masturbate but i cant handle the boring life. Girls everything that was near get less vibs from me. If i can give more out i get more, its cycle and truth behind masturbation and when you conquer it you have most amazing life. This is what i believe and drive toward to.

    And about drugs.... they are bad mmmkay
     
  7. wilder2

    wilder2 New Member

    Would love to join, haven't PMO'd since September. I allow myself to MO because it's seemed boost my sex drive - probably something to do with me have PA.
     
  8. spoofy

    spoofy Active Member

    Will try to join in, at the very least want to avoid edging before/during the holidays. (as obv due to stress)
     
  9. Imfree

    Imfree Active Member

    The hollidays are probably the hardest time of year to stay clean. All the idle time and bad weather, family drama. My biggest trigger has been getting access to porn again after not being to PMO for a while, such as returning home after staying with family. It's like I'm afraid that the porn is going to disappear and I have to stock up while I have the chance. Or I imagine that some new and better porn came out while I wasn't watching it constantly.
     
  10. spoofy

    spoofy Active Member

    @Imfree totally mate, and all that accumulated stress really hits you on the holidays ey
     
  11. spoofy

    spoofy Active Member

    Almost edged, but quickly stopped, pretty good day overall ;)
     
  12. Imfree

    Imfree Active Member

    Was that a peek then? I'm generally not able to stop when on the brink like that. Ihave rituals which will settle me into an extended session.
     
    Brit_91_kd likes this.
  13. Freedom from Servitude

    Freedom from Servitude Active Member

    Hi guys, just posting here as I have been getting burning cravings to act out lately. I have pushed myself hard with my jobs and in preparing for a job interview which came up last minute, over the last week. I have also gone down with a bug that seems to be affecting everyone at the moment. My mind seeks lust to cover the emotional discomfort. I'm posting here for extra accountability to discourage me from acting out and doing something that I would later regret.
     
  14. Imfree

    Imfree Active Member

    Freedom from Servitude, In such situations I have been able to pull through by tricking the addict. The addict will say "porn is harmless and you deserve to indulge with all the difficulties you experiencing at the moment". To this I reply "alright, if it's so harmless I'll just wait until a few days after the interview just to prove that I'm doing it because I enjoy it and not because I'm running from anything". Then when that time comes, the non-addict says to the addict "I just said that to shut you up, really I don't need you at all."
     
  15. spoofy

    spoofy Active Member

    yesterday was busy day but good, didn't have any desire.
    today was extremely miserable today, was about to edge but ended up stopping work and played some games instead.

    @Imfree: ye man
     
  16. wilder2

    wilder2 New Member

    It's funny because I think almost all of my relapses in the past have come from exactly what you said: miserable day/week. My "no porn" journey ended up helping me find inner peace and more hobbies than it ever could've done for helping me avoid pixels - avoiding the pixels ultimately became the easy part as I went off to learn who I was and what I wanted to do with my life.

    I wish you the best of luck with this month though man, we're all in this together.
     
  17. spoofy

    spoofy Active Member

    Had a good weekend, so far so good ;)

    @wilder2: thanks dude, ye it's always funny once I substitute a craving with another dopamine release (e.g. watch a funny video on youtube, post in this forum, etc...) the craving goes away.
    That's how anyone can clearly see it's just an addiction craving, and not a genuine sexual need.
     
    wilder2 likes this.
  18. CJJackson

    CJJackson Active Member

    Reading this thread definitely helped my urges. I’ve been at this for a year now. Only had 27 days this year where I looked at p. Compared to multiple times a day every day before then for prob 10 years. I’m 22 now so I’m glad I started young. Since September I’ve only had like 3 relapses so I know I’m the right direction. My problem now seems to be rationalizing a relapse after every 40-50 days. I’m pretty good at not binging tho it’s always been one and done and back up to start another streak. Anyone that has gotten a grip on this for longer periods of time is an inspiration to me and I’d appreciate and feedback or advice. Happy holidays everyone!
     
  19. Imfree

    Imfree Active Member

    CJJackson, you're doing quite well. Better than the average person on the forum.
     
    spoofy and CJJackson like this.
  20. CJJackson

    CJJackson Active Member

    @Imfree thanks for the kind words I’ve been looking for some feedback for sometime now. Hope to one day be an inspiration for others as well
     

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