I am 57 years old and have masturbated to porn mags and internet porn since I was 14. This addiction to porn and masturbation has ruined my first marriage and is in danger of destroying my second one if I do not learn to overcome it. I have tried to reboot at least 4 times in this marriage and have sought help from my GP without success. I have relapsed in a big way recently because of my stressful working life over the last 6 months. I have tried to kick the addiction on my own before my wife discovered was I still doing PMO in secret. Last Wednesday I was at home surfing porn on my laptop and she came home early and caught me in my underpants wth the curtains drawn - that’s how it feels - I am doing something seedy and trying not to get caught. She was really hurt and upset especially as her own self esteem is not great - I knew this and the effect it would have on her, which is why I was trying to stop before she found out. It wasn’t enough and this insidious addiction caused me to ignore my desire to love and protect her from being hurt. Because I lied about not doing it to protect her feelings she does not trust me and won’t believe I have an addiction. Despite having a huge row we have not split up yet. She has gone away for a few days on a trip she had already planned so we have some space to reflect on what has happened to our relationship. I found this forum by accident - I typed Addicted to Internet Porn into Google and found my way here via Noah Church’s Addicted to Internet Porn site. I cannot believe I did not try a search like this earlier, but I am so glad I did now because finding out about what PMO does to men, and that there is a large community of men out there facing the same challenge has been an epiphany for me. I now have high hopes I can overcome this and perhaps save my relationship with my wonderful wife. I can see from reading the posts here that it is not an easy task and I must be realistic about how difficult it could be given the nature of the long term effect of PMO on my brain and physiology. However, I am willing to try and have started to put some things in place to give me a better chance at succeeding this time, especially as I now have a support network I did not have in the past. I would like to thank you all for being brave and caring enough to share and support each other on this forum and that I no longer feel alone in my trials.