Screw#Femdom [OPEN GROUP]

All the best BringMeBack. You can check out the book Inner Bonding by Dr. Margaret Paul, it is really helping me connect with my inner child. For me femdom has been a result of my insecurities and low self worth which got ingrained overtime. I am 22 years old now and trying to change of all the negative false beliefs I have adapted in the past decade. We all need to look inward to understand what has caused us to get here. I hope this group becomes active like it was before.

 

https://board.freedomainradio.com/topic/37249-is-it-healthyokay-to-have-a-cuckold-fantasyfetish/

I like reply from Lens, post #3.

 

@niskanen91, thanks for posting this link! It's a very interesting conversation they are having. I subscribe to the theory that DaisyAnarchist explained about feeling not worthy of my father's time. My father was never around when I needed him, and I grew up with a very distorted view of my self worth. I too have a cuckold fetish and I feel like it comes from a feeling in my past that I simply wasn't good enough, that I was betrayed, and I learned to eroticize it.

 

Recommended reading:

http://studyitonline.com/g4g/2014/04/dont-try-pegging-or-femdom-unless-you-want-to-lose-your-wife/
https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/femdom-addiction-for-7-years-please-help.94640/

 

Hey guys new to this group

The last post was some time ago but hopefully there is still a community of sorts on here!

I am heavily addicted to femdom/findom and am aiming to recover from this

Accepting I have a massive problem and believing I can do it is the first step

If anyone wants to chat or anything let me know, I would love to be able to impact people positively whilst I recover on this journey

Changemaker

 

Hello changemaker, good luck in your journey!

 

quick note about femdom- it's weakness, it's your submission to the oedipal mother, its your inability to break free from the nest and manifest your masculinity in the real world. I had an oppressive older sister and a tough mother who did the hitting, not my dad. Here's the easiest solution which is working for me- fill your head with positive male role models. Elliot Hulse, Corey Wayne, Jordan Peterson are the ones I have used (if you have other ones please do share). Even if you're in your 40s and 50s you need to transform that insecure boy into a man. You must be a leader in your relationship. Your woman can run the household, and probably will, but it must be you setting the direction for your life. It is your job to be a woman's sturdy ship, braving the tough waters of life and bringing order to the feminine nature of reality (mother nature). It's not her job take care of you. That's what your mother is for. It's her job to be the wind in your sails as you steer the ship to success. At first when you meet a women she will blow her wins to test your ship and see if you will capsize. But once she realizes you are strong and sturdy, she will be the winds in your sails which drive you forward to frontiers you never imagined. Good luck brothers.

And don't forget, femdom is a pathology. if it wasn't, then why would the only women available interested charge money, be interested in using men, or be women with their own pathologies?

 

Great comment!!

 

Guys I know this takes some courage, but I was thinking of setting up a weekly Skype group to have a femdom addiction recovery meeting.

For obvious reasons of privacy we could also create proxy usernames and only use audio or typing communication (not video).

It could be helpful to discuss issues and what works and what helps on a regular basis, I know I often feel lonely in this journey.

Anyway if anyone thinks this is a good idea please shout out or if you have any other ideas!

 

@changemaker I'm glad you liked my comment, sometimes I get a little philosophical. And I'm not sure there is anything to talk about. What did you have in mind? In my opinion, all you need to worry about is getting that nasty shit out of your life, and starting to talk to women in the real world. Any sex with a computer is wrong, femdom or not. The only way to have sexual adventures, is to go out and have sexual adventures.

 

@breaking_free Listen and listen good. I was in your hole. Thankfully I was smart enough to not actually send these vultures any money, but its okay just stop now. Dude seriously realize that these are women possessed with malevolent intentions. They are of course human and have both good and bad in them, but what they are doing is pathological. They have an unhealthy relationship with men too, its just theres is more sociopathic, yours is fantasy. Delete the accounts, delete the porn, start nofap and start talking to women in the real world. That is it. That will fix your problem. Don't listen to any other bullshit, thats seriously it. I've done years of reading on this, covered every little negative thought that's going to creep into your mind (oh what if Im just different and meant to be into this? What if its too late for me now and this is all Ill ever be into? What if I did too much damage with the porn and now i can never be rewired?). NO NO NO, all wrong. Your brain thinks its living some place where this is how you should be having sex. Your brain doesn't know the difference between the pixels on your screen and reality. So yes, even as you take your brain out of that vultures den, you may have thoughts that remind you of that place, and they will make you horny. This will weaken over time, but may take years to get rid of. That doesn't matter, because as you leave that place, you enter a new one. Start talking to women in the real world. Over time your brain will start fantasizing about those women. I was at a point where the only porn I could ever watch was femdom porn, and it got progressively more hardcore. Now the idea of normal sex is getting increasingly more appealing. Just being with a women, and experiencing her, not focused on fantasies, focused on reality.
Even reading your post sort of brought back my memories of being into those types of accounts, but I have much stronger willpower now and its only been 33 days. Yes my brain still kind of finds that material fascinating, but it is also getting more attuned to real women. All that's happened here is you spent years in a place where the women in that land have sex via whatever fantasies you jacked off to. Now its time to leave that place, and bring your sexual energy into a new place- the real world. If, and this is a big if, you just can't resist and must fap, fap to women you saw in the real world. And don't fantasize about anything. Don't fantasize about how you are going to be with them, things you are going to do to them, literally just bring up the mental image of that person and fap to that. THATs it. You got this. I am personally invested in your case because I find findom despicable. But you are blessed to have wondered into this place with men who have spent a lot of time in that wretched place you are escaping.

Other relevant facts:
How old you are, how much time you spent fapping does not matter. You will readjust to the real world. If your brain was no longer capable of adjusting, then it would be dead. It's that simple. Our brains are changing every second, every nano second in fact.
You will experience a range of emotions during this process. You will realize that very often you spent time in this fantasy land not because you were horny, but because you didn't want to face your emotions. When the emotions come up, and they will, deal with them in the instant, don't find another crutch. For example, all of a sudden a terrible memory of something really unfair happening to you might come to your mind and make you pissed. Isolate the thought, ask yourself what you can do about it, why you feel that way, and how you can take action to remedy that. In terms of dealing with the onslaught of urges, USE THEM. This is your golden opportunity to rewire. When the urge comes and you want to go find that fapmaterial, start imagining women you saw in the real world. Literally tell your brain "that is what that sexual energy is for, not for those stupid twitter women". Or, go for a walk. Or exercise. The point is, you are using your cortical structures to rewire your limbic urges. Now don't get me wrong, eventually those limbic urges become so powerful they may overwhelm you. If and when that happens transmute that power into healthy sexual thoughts, preferably memories of women from the real world, and eventually, actual sexual activity with a women. God bless brother.

 

I understand the miserable, bleak outlook you have right now. THERE IS A LIGHT AND YOU ARE READING IT RIGHT NOW. yes the urges get easier. They get weaker and weaker over time. and occasionally they come back powerfully but u literally just change the thought either to a woman you saw in the real world, or you tell your brain NO, this is not how I want my sex life to be. Either way, you will beat this. Its been done many many many times, you are not unique in this. True, they seriously are a manifestation of the evil in the world right now. What they are doing is despicable. All i meant when i said they have good in them too is that you should not be bitter or hate them, you should just realize "yes there is evil in the world, yes there is shiftiness, but there's lots of good". You need to live a life of purpose, go pick a way you can use who you are to make the world a better place. Be a fighter for good. Stop fapping and your doors will open up. And i understand the power of your sexuality. I am not telling you to repress it. But what you need to understand is this- your sexuality is guided by your hypothalamus and other limbic areas. It doesn't know whats real and whats fake. Your neocortex does. So the next time your hypothalamus says hey i really want some sex take me back to that place with the women, your neocortex must say - don't worry I will bring you women, but not at that place. That is a terrible place. Remember that girl we saw on the street today? Remember that woman at work i had a nice chat with? Those are the ones you can engage, not those pixels. I know Im sounding insane and I know you are probably miserable. But I repeat, you are not alone, we have beaten this, here's what you are going to do:
1. Vow to never watch porn again. Delete any access you have to unhealthy representations of women. If its anything more than just pictures of them, or videos that are completely non sexual, then its toxic. Delete your twitter if you must. Delete instagram. Whatever.
2. When the fantasies come, when you remember the findom chicks,don't get mad at yourself. Either say no I'm not doing this. Im not into this. And then return to what you were doing. Every time they come back just repeat, and it gets easier over time (I promise). Or take that energy you feel building up and think of women you saw in your day. I promise your urge for real sex will return. I promise you brother.
3. Start working out/ researching health.
4. Figure out some type of goal that is exciting to you.

"I've been trying recently to mindfully pay more attention to the nature of the thoughts I tend to get when I get these urges for Findom. It's a fascinating exercise to just passively "observe" the thoughts your own mind bombards you with. I've noticed when these urges first surface, a common thought is "just have a quick look" - whether it be to check for social media notifications or porn website updates- it's always this idea of "just" having a quick check, usually with the intention that I won't be on there long. Of course that never happens- invariably there's almost always something that triggers onset of complete mindless tunnel vision and by that time it's too late"

5. Good. You are becoming mindful. This is important. Get into meditation. It will develop your power of mind.
6. Make conscious efforts to talk to women in the real world. The more days you get into no fap the easier it becomes.
7. Go for walks. Especially on days when you are home and the urges are rampant, you can't stop touching yourself, you feel the temptation, you don't feel like theres an end to this, get out and go walk.

 

Also of course you feel guilty deleting them. This is proof of what I was explaining to you that your limbic system doesn't know what it wants, it just knows it wants women. Its telling you " dude why are you cutting off my access to sex". To which you must reply "hey idiot. that isn't a woman. Let me show you what a woman is. And then think of women from the real world. Sounds to me like you need to just delete your twitter by the way. I can't tell you how freeing it is to get rid of twitter and instagram. Just mindless nonsense, porn, people arguing and vultures trying to steal your mind.

 

Lol @breaking_free nah you don't sound crazy. I used to "delete" porn videos i had, but took comfort knowing they were still in my trash and could be revived. You have to realize that this is literally a battle between different parts of your brain. One is extremely primitive, its found literally in lizards, monkeys, ferrets. The difference between those animals is that they are slaves to their nature. They just act, they don't think. We developed consciousness as a result of the development of our neocortex- frontal lobe, temporal lobe and parietal lobe. These structures are what brought you to this site, they are what make you feel guilty and miserable. That's what they are programmed to do when they realize you are not succeeding in the world. They guide those lower level systems on how to express themselves properly in the real world. They are designed to seek information when they don't know what to do. That is why they brought you here. Not only are humans foragers of things, we forage for information. Well I'm giving it you.

i completely understand the pleasures of browsing my addiction got to doing it for hours at a time,at work in the bathroom, even at work while I was at my desk. It's sick really.
One thing that will really help you stick to that checklist, is to get inspired by wise men. That's one thing our society has stripped us of, is access to strong, wise male figures.
Jordan Peterson
Elliot Hulse
Corey Wayne
These three guys changed my life.

 

Also just so you know, my current streak is 35 days, but I've had relapses in the past. This is a journey I've been on for a few years now. Every time you catch yourself about to look at porn, or looking at and stop, that's a victory. Every single time. Every time you feel your hand creeping to your penis and you stop it, that's a victory. Small relapses aren't the worst thing in the world. Because now you are starting over but you just had 15 victories prior so your brain is a little stronger. The thing is you are rigt about the filling the void. If you don't come up with a plan using your neocortex, then all you are doing is building its willpower. That's a good start,but you also need to be teaching it how to succeed in the world. Here's the good news though, once you start talking to women, it learns quickly and a lot of it is without your thought. For example it becomes better at reading body language, facial language, picking up social cues etc.
Plan- execute- learn-plan-execute learn- plan execute- learn. Thats the process.
Go fill your head with Corey Wayne, he is a dating expert. Not a lame pick up dude but actually a good person who wants you to have healthy relationships. Based on what he say you plan- you execute- and then based on what happens you learn and try again.

 

Also that is a very very small percentage of women you are totally warped right now.

 

. Check this video out guys. Once you have reached this state of mind you can use affirmations to make changes to your subconcious mind. I used it to elimnate my fetish almost entirely. The results will take about a week to show up tho.

 

It depends on what your insecurities are that lead you to use this type of porn. I just simply told my brain to get rid of all submissive wiring in my brain and it actually reduced the fetish urges quite a bit. TBH the results a bit surprising to me lolllll.

 

https://www.hypnosisdownloads.com/sexual-problems/sexual-fetish You can also try buying this product if you want to. After the first time a litsend to it my regular sexual desire began to come back right away. Unfortunatey i relapsed to femdom again and the tape no longer works at all. So if your going to try it make sure you never relapse while trying to retrain your subconscious.

 

Right on brother. Congrats on three days. I can tell you are an intelligent person. You are completely in the right mindset. You are totally right about it not being about the days. Even though I'm counting my current streak, I have been gradually getting better for a while to the point where regular sex is very enticing to me now. Like being treated like a loser by a girl just seems more and more ridiculous to the point where I just don't even enjoy those kinds of fantasies anymore.