Scared to start again but no other choice

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by Thankfulfortoday, Dec 26, 2016.

  1. Thankfulfortoday

    Thankfulfortoday New Member

    IMG_2001.PNG I'm single never married 45 year old man addicted to porn of one form or another since I was 10. How to reverse 35 years? Scared what lies in the other side. Tried 12 step groups and therapy for many years with limited success. I have dreams I want to fufill before I die and I feel that this addiction ha a ruined them this long and I don't want to let it sniff it out entirely. I want a wife and maybe one child, I want to live in peace without being ruled by fear and anxiety and I want to help the world be a better place instead of hiding from it while staring at tits all day. It's a horrible feeling and I want to break free. I'm hoping this forum can help me.
     
    Straying_alive likes this.
  2. Healed7

    Healed7 Member

    You are at the right place with people who understand your pain. It is a challenging long journey to recovery but one you have to take. I am back in this group humbled because it is impossible to face this animal alone. Being here and sharing your story and encouraging others is a weapon like non other. Welcome and get in the mix
     
  3. bobjes

    bobjes Active Member

    Hey Thankfull,

    Welcome. This is a great place to be. I has helped me to move beyond watching porn. And without this forum I could not have done it. The support of interaction between the men here and reading the stories, struggles, process and victories is wholesome and healing.
    Hope to hear more from you soon.
     
  4. Straying_alive

    Straying_alive New Member

    First time poster but long time lurker here. First off let me congratulate you on your decision to get porn free and for joining this site. I think you have made a wise choice. I dont post here but something in your story made me want to reply to you. My story is similar to yours. Im 45, started porn at about 11 ish and been steady and sometimes outright pathetic up until late this summer. I am married with kids however. Wife knew about the porn use, although not all the details about how often, how much etc. I never really got into the wierder stuff out there but Ive had my fair share of hard core porn viewing. Wife was not too crazy about it, but we never talked much about it other than an odd comment here and there when she'd find "evidence". To be fair she knew I was into porn from the beginning of the relationship, neither approving or judgemental but ambivalent.

    But i dont mean to hijack your thread. I just wanted to provide some context.

    I am 120+ days porn free. I have seen some benefits and my wife seems to have noticed something is different as well. So again I think your decision is the right one.

    What I found has helped me immensely is forums like this one and others such as YBOP and PEGym. I also found that keeping a counter is useful. The first few weeks and month is difficult since there is the pull of habit. I had to be very vigilant and disciplined because urges to view porn were strong. I think the strong urges began to dissipate after about 30 days or so. But even now the urges will pop up from time to time but its easier to manage I find. Despite my 100+days of porn free living, I am not completely out of the dark. I find it hard to go more than 3 or 4 days without fapping so there is much work to be done there. I hope my story offers some encouragement. As I said I was viewing P for more than 30 years and I have been fapping for probably close to 40 and yet still I have made some progress. You are on the right track coming to this forum and others like it. Hopefully you will find some enlightnment and comraderie in the stories you read and support when you need it.

    Good luck and I look forward to hearing more about your journey.
     
    Last edited: Dec 30, 2016
    Healed7 likes this.
  5. BeyondReady

    BeyondReady Member

    Welcome Thankful! You have come to the right place.
     

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