Saving my love-life

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by Mescalito, Oct 24, 2018.

  1. Mescalito

    Mescalito Member

    Time for a little celebration, just now I'm PMO free for a week, and smoke free for a month :)
    Will get myself a little gift: I'm craving a good leather jacket for a long time now, so I will order one from Simmons Bilt. If anybody is interested:
    http://www.simmonsbilt.com/
    As they are made on demand I will have to wait a month or so but thats just one more reason to stay sober for the remaining time ;)
     
    Gil79 likes this.
  2. Mescalito

    Mescalito Member

    No update on the flatline so far... except that there is nothing happening.
    No urges, no cravings, just a non-sexual state of mind. Actually having sex or masturbating seems almost absurd right now.
    Even more puzzling is my lack of craving for cigarettes. My last try 3 years ago was pretty hard but now...
    Not that I want to complain or anything but still...

    Diet is doing ok, stomach is growling a bit but I'm not disturbed by the hunger. After a few days I'm going to be used to it anyway.
     
    Gil79 likes this.
  3. Mescalito

    Mescalito Member

    Yesterday after work when I was riding home I had a girl cycling in front of me. Out of the blue she got me very aroused and I ended up masturbating at home - without porn. The orgasm was really stunning and I took my time to really enjoy the whole process.
    Usually I would've watched some porn, then have a quick, vigorous and "unconscious" fap and then repeat after a while.
    I wanted to avoid any orgasm at all for a certain time but I consider the surrounding "how" and "why" and the outcome as a step into the right direction towards healing.
     
    Bezoechow likes this.
  4. Mescalito

    Mescalito Member

    Had a relapse yesterday. Masturbated to chaturbate 2 times.
    No major drawback but still...
    One good thing came out of it through. Now I've realized my weak spot: At home after work, household done with nothing to do. I'm visiting friends and do sports frequently but there still are those evenings where there is nothing to do exept binging Netflix if you know what I mean. One must chill out sometimes but now seems to be the time to do even more constructive things during my free time.
    Will start to hit the gym this week but I still need to find something I can do at home by myself... maybe its finally time to give my cajon/framedrum lessons another shot plus I really want to use my HiFi more often.

    Today I'm going to ride and I really hope I'm finally going to conquer that one hill.

    Diet is going well btw. But I still need to push myself more Into less caloric dense foods.
     
    Last edited: Sep 3, 2019
  5. Mescalito

    Mescalito Member

    Took another route up that hill which turned out to be even harsher, so I didn't quite make it. Soon, really soon ;)
    Today I've had no urges to look at porn so far exept in the morning when I was laying in bed with nothing to do.
    Recognize the pattern?
     
  6. Mescalito

    Mescalito Member

    Seems like I'm back in the saddle. Will spend the evening with friends.

    Ordered the jacket yesterday ;)
     
  7. gavney

    gavney Active Member

    Good to hear man! Been getting a bit into cycling this week, man it's tough. I find much harder than running, though also more fun at times.
    Did you make it up that hill?!
     
  8. Mescalito

    Mescalito Member

    No yet. Today I made it with 3 breaks during the last climb - it's just so much more brutal than I expected beforehand.
    I guess I have to train for another 2 - 4 weeks but I will make it up there and then it's going to be my standard training route after work while I will try to go faster over time.
     
  9. Mescalito

    Mescalito Member

    Holy shit this week was hell. So much stress at work, shitty sleep etc.
    Had to let go of everything, biking, diet, not fapping and instead just chill out. At least l wasn't binging to PMO but I did watch some porn. Didn't smoke though.
    In 3 hours it will be over. First I'm going to ride then drink heavily with friends.
     
  10. Mescalito

    Mescalito Member

    YES I finally made it up that goddamn hill without a break and it feels sooo fucking great having accomplished that :cool:
    The heavy drinking was also pretty cool ;)
     
  11. Mescalito

    Mescalito Member

    The strategy "just don't be at home in front of a screen" seems to work pretty well but today alone time is unavoidable.
    Will occupy myself with a lot of housework and cooking first, then a hot bath, then some Netflix.
    Resumed my dietary changes btw.
     

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