Saving my love-life

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by Mescalito, Oct 24, 2018.

  1. Mescalito

    Mescalito Member

    And back again ;)

    Since 34 hours I'm on nicotine substitution again and I'm pretty stable and confident that I'm going to pull it off this time. Feels very good right now, also my almost 27 days PMO abstinence finally start to feel like I've accomplished something.
    Now is the perfect time to start working on other stuff I want to do during the next 5 month:
    - Quit smoking for good (work in progress)
    - Loose 15kg of fat (will start as soon as the worst withdrawal from cigarettes is over)
    - Pick up weightlifting again
    - Build a new hardtail mountain bike as a gift for myself in 5 month (Ordered the frame this tuesday)
    - Get into some other small habits, doing a bit of Qigong, maybe I will start to meditate again
     
  2. Mescalito

    Mescalito Member

    Had a very cool erotic dream about a girl at my work.
    The nicotine withdrawal is now taking a dominant role, which is partly a good thing, because the PMO stuff is really out of my head right now.
    Unfortunately it's a way more intense experience, brainfog is through the roof but I'm really confident that I will push through.
     
  3. Mescalito

    Mescalito Member

    Fun fact:
    When I was in the bathtub today I thought about my reasons to quit smoking - as I have done in the past.
    But this time the first points that came to my mind were "My dick is going to get harder" and "Juicy, pink pussy is going to taste and smell so much better" and "It will increase my chances with non-smoking girls" :eek: but hey, whatever keeps me going.

    And ... 4 weeks of abstinence are finally over and I just came home from the gym plus I'm feeling very good right now. Now I'm going to do some housework. Cya
     
  4. Mescalito

    Mescalito Member

    Damn, just came very close to relapsing. I already had my flaccid dick grabbed and was about getting it hard. Chaturbate was waiting. Luckily I didn't give in.
    I jumped up and started cleaning my kitchen.
    All this lazy screen-time really is pretty bad, I really need to be more active with actual rewarding tasks - far away from my phone/laptop.
     
  5. Mescalito

    Mescalito Member

    And today it's a full month of abstinence. I'm not struggling with no PMO anymore, which feels very good. Still no sign of libido, but that's fine too.
    Relapsed in terms of smoking, but I won't give up.
    Also I successfully reduced my calorie intake these past days without much trouble.
    My apartment is starting to look really clean btw ;)
     
  6. Mescalito

    Mescalito Member

    And again I'm pretty stable on nicotine substitution. Diet is going ok so far, I'm not that hungry.

    No-PMO is doing pretty well. It's pretty weird though, my head can get horny as hell, but my body doesn't react to it at all.
    As a one month resume I can see some small changes in my motivation. Feels like I'm getting more stuff done than before and I'm less procrastinating.
     
  7. Mescalito

    Mescalito Member

    Geez, it's such an up and down. I really don't know anymore in which direction my recovery is going at the moment. One day it's like I can pull off not masturbating like forever, the next day I really get into a foul mood if I realize how many days I still have to got. Today is the latter.
    Still not going to touch my dick, still not going to give in.

    Fuck, luckily the weekend just around the corner, going to do some cleaning now. Did my stuff at the gym just as planned - the only good thing today.
     
  8. Mescalito

    Mescalito Member

    Aaannd I just masturbated while watching one of my favourite girls on chaturbate. Just didn't want to resist anymore. The orgasm blew me of my feet... cheesus christ :eek:
    I'm ok, not beating myself up about it but now I'm confident that this is my final goodbye to virtual erotica. No more just taking a look. My next sexual experience is going to be with a woman when I am finally able to feel true desire again.

    It surely wasn't a major setback, and it would be an exaggeration to say that I'm back to square one, but I substracted 7 days from my tracker regardless.
    I'm planning to have finished my no-pmo, diet and other liftestyle goals on the first of march 2019. That leaves me 106 days and I'm going to make it.
     
    Last edited: Nov 15, 2018
  9. Mescalito

    Mescalito Member

    Today was pretty good.
    Sticked to my diet plan and still a stable non smoker so far. Having no urges to masturbate or to watch porn. Maybe getting it out of the system yesterday wasn't too much of a bad idea.
     
  10. Mescalito

    Mescalito Member

    Another day, another opportunity to make changes happen. I don't want to count the days I've gotten over with anymore but instead focus on what I can achieve in the remaining time.
    My Chaturbate account has just been deleted for good, and I was hanging out with some buddies yesterday evening. Watching movies, smoking pot, talking etc.
    I definitely need to do this more often.
     

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