Rundo's Journal. 12 weeks of no Porn/Masturbation

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by Rundo, Mar 4, 2012.

  1. Rundo

    Rundo Guest

    Well, i finally decided to start a journal. I'm a 22 years old student, vegan (health issues, and loving it) and compulsive masturbator. Started 9 years ago, first just pictures of naked girls, then progressed to pictures and videos of skinny girls, tall girls, short girl, fit girls, chubby girls, black girls, asian girls, you get the idea. So now i can't get an erection with a "normal" girl because of my aggresive, fast and rough masturbations to "rare" and sometimes "bizarre" sexual stimulus, never watched amateur porn because it didn't excite me. I used to masturbate 2 to 5 times a day (in vacations 4 to 8 times :( ).

    Another thing is that i don't want to have kids. Nothing against it and if someone tells me we wants to have kid i'm happy about them, but i just don't want to have kids (i have mental and emotional reasons, but i wont write them here). I'm attending with a psychiatrist (for multiple reasons, not just this) and he told me i have no traumas in my life, and if i don't want to have kids i could have a vasectomy so i don't have to worry anymore about that (a close friend and a family member used a condom and pregnant their partners).

    I have been edging for like 8 months and it feels really good, not as intense as ejaculating but still pretty good and i feel brighter and with more energy, so i'm pretty confident about keeping the semen inside my body and using a condom, but i can't put one because of this f*****g ed. If i could mantain a hard-rock erection for enough time to put a condom i would not worry that much about getting a girl pregnant. Just had sex 2 times in my life, once with a girlfriend i had, we had a relationship of 2 months, she broked up with me, and you guess right, because of my ed.

    I started working out (light weight because of an injury, right shoulder, surgery 3 months ago) and i want to start a light PE (penis enlargement) 3 times a week. In this 12 weeks i will not watch any porn and/or sexual stimulus and i will not masturbate. Hopefully after this 12 weeks i could start another 12 weeks.

    Sry for the english and the long post. Thx for your time and let the journey begin!


    New day 1!!! 06/04/12 (day/month/year)

    Previous "Reboot days"

    · Day 2: I just woke up with a morning wood (80 - 85%, the hardest i can remember). I stayed in bed 5 more minutes, in that lapse of time when i had already lost the morning wood, another one appeared! This one did not lasted as much as the first one ( 3 minutes - 1 minute ) but i feel powerful!. Also yesterday and today when i saw some "Normal" women i felt aroused (with women i would never thought feeling aroused about them), random cute girls that before this would never arouse me now they heat me up. Lets the journey continue! (March 07/12)

    · Day 4: 4th day in a row with morning wood (but the weakest one so far), 4th day with sexual dreams (the less sexual so far). Woke up really "excited" (if you know what i mean). Yesterday i had mild "blue balls". I'm battling the urge to masturbate like a MMA fighter battling in the ring, so it's time to clean the house, have a good meal and workout like a MMA fighter!!! (March 09/12)

    · Day 7: Longest morning wood so far (3-4 minutes) and had another sexual dream (day 6 i did not had a strong morning wood*20%* and didn't remember the dream). I'm not feeling so great right now (slept 6 hours) and i just arrived from the university (1st day of the academic year), but i felt really aroused by women today. A girl who sits in front of me in a class was playing with an earring (in her ear of course lol)... i felt like a caveman, thinking in just pulling her out of the class and...you know. I felt really horny all around my body except for my penis, it reacted very little, maybe because i'm tired of working out and the lack of sleep i can't tell yet the reason. The journey goes on, time to study... (March 12/12)

    · Day 8: Day one of the 2nd week, mild morning wood, can't remember if i had a sexual dream. Slept like 9 hours, and no university today so i'm feeling very energetic. I think this may be one of the most (if not the most) sexual energy flowing day since i started ap90. Decided to read 1 article and 1 FAQ of "YBOP" (yourbrainonporn.com) every day, so i can feed and re-enforce the intellect part of this process (since i'm a very "intellectual" guy) to power up my motivation. Still my dick is not responding very "well". Now, some lectures and cardio-time (March 13/12

    · Day 9: Just arrived from university. Slept 5 hours and the temperature doesn't colaborate (too hot) so i'm not really energetic right now, BUT my dick reacted to some girls today. The trip back from the university, in the bus, a really hot girl aroused me at distance and in the subway i seated next to a cute girl, we lightly touched arms a couple of times. In both scenarios my penis reacted a little (15% - 20%) but my body wasn't aroused, i think it was because of the lack of sleep and the heat. If my erections becomes bigger each day, i'm gonna have to buy some slips (lol) because there are a lot more hot girls than a couple of weeks ago (maybe it's my perception that is changing). Greetings (March 14/12)

    · Day 1(13): Well, this sucks, after taking a bath last night i was naked playing games on an internet page and then an ad appeared, yes it was a porn ad. I clicked it because at first sight did not looked like porn, and then it happened... sexy naked girls. I watched for 2 minutes and when i realised i was masturbating, i stopped immediately. So what i did next was this: Format the computer and instaledubuntu, downloding firefox and install lots of aps that prevent ads, pop-ups and those kind of things, and configured the firewall so i can control everything that tries to appear. This sucks because i was starting to feel a lot better, but i have to be more flexible and not be so hard on myself, this was just a circumstancial event and nothing more. I woke up with a mild morning wood so i guess is a good start. (March 18/12)

    · Day 2: Last night when i was trying to sleep suddenly sexy thoughts came to my mind. While i was trying to think something else my penis became to get hard, so i did a little experiment and instead of avoid the sexy thoughts i "boosted" them, i was hard like for 5 - 7 MINUTES!!!(80 - 85%) it was amazing, i have never felt so powerful sexually. The bad part is that i could not fall asleep because of this "energy" and i was so tired that in the morning i did not hear the clock alarm, so i missed one class (university). I didn't wake up with a morning wood anyways, but the last night boner gave me an extra boost to achieve this goal!(March 19/12)

    · Day 4: I feel very horny but my dick is almost dead (not flatline). Today i was studying and suddenly sexy thoughts came to my mind, dick responded just a little bit, like he wanted to get up but the situation wasn't the best (studying at the university halls). There's a girl in one class that a lot of guys thinks she is hot but I don't, today that changed and for some reason now i'm starting to think she is quite hot. This is not new because this happens to me a lot, some friends find a girl sexy and I don't agree with them. My standads apparently are changing (for good i think (= ). New goal: To achieve a 45º erection, "deadline" – 31/12/12 (March 21/12)

    · Day 5:

    - 2 Morning woods, first one was up when i woke up, the second time i was having sexy thoughts. Through the morning and afternoon a "significant" amount of girls checked me out, i don't know if i'm more attractive now or my perception is better...time will tell. Penis is a little more responsive when I think of girls (real girls lol), or when i look them. I'm really tired right now, i have a social activity in a couple of hours but I want to take care of my body right now. Time to study! Greetings. (March 22/12)

    · Day 7: Woke up with a 3 - 4 minutes morning wood. Relaxed day, but really weird: I had a really hard time trying to not watch porn, then the urge faded, a couple of hours appeared again, then faded again. It was pretty weird because this never happened to me before, but it's ok since I don't have any expectations so it doesn't matter what happens during this process. Due to a lack of time i'm not going to log in the forum and just gonna post once a week, so i'm gonna report only on saturday or sunday every week. Greetings!(March 24/12)
     
  2. Psychosis

    Psychosis Guest

    Glad to have you aboard.

    I wouldn't bother with that Penis Enlargement stuff, because I'm pretty sure it's garbage. Also, I suggest you put aside until you've recovered your aversion to having children--at least until you've gotten over the porn addiction (plus, you're only 22 dude). Other than that, good luck. WE'll look forward to reading about your progress.
     
  3. Psychosis

    Psychosis Guest

    Dude, in my two weeks off, my dick was useless.
     
  4. kickthehabit

    kickthehabit New Member

    I wouldn't be too disappointed with yourself, in my own view you averted disaster. It takes a lot more effort to stop yourself mid M. At least you avoided O!
     
  5. kv22206

    kv22206 New Member

    80-85% hard for 5-7 minutes is a great achievement dude! so happy for you! Its been ages that I have stayed hard for more than 30 seconds.

    did u manually touch or stimulate yourself or it was all by thought only?
     
  6. Rundo

    Rundo Guest

    @kv22206: Only tought, i just touched my penis a couple of time during that period to check the erection level, even the touch felt nice, but i touched my penis just 3 times for a short period of time. after the erection went away I tried again with some sexual thoughts to get erected again, but nothing happened. the body works in some mysterious ways. greetings.
     
  7. ssllmmee

    ssllmmee Member

    Maybe both... It's impossible to become sexy out of nothing in just 5 days, but maybe your behaviour and your attitude are changing and girls look at that too. And of course, your perception of what happens around you is different. If you are into noPMO your only source of pleasure will be real women, so you pay more attention to their behaviour too. Probably they already looked at you in the past but as you were satisfied with your PMO pleasure fix you didn't care about it or thought it was just coincidence.
     
  8. Psychosis

    Psychosis Guest

    Good stuff, man. And good luck this week!
     
  9. Rundo

    Rundo Guest

    · Day 1: So here i'm again, but with a few changes (good changes i think :D). I was able to abstain for 11 days (March 28/12), then asbtained 5 days (April 6/12), so what happened? I went for a couple of processes during this period. I decided to finally go to an urologist to talk about the vasectomy after hearing an interview in the radio, this doc worked 7 years in England and Spain performing over 20 vasectomys a day, and he said that one patient of him payed like US$70 with his health care program for this intervention. The chat was good, I asked a lot of questions and he was very professional,kind and even funny at some point. He asked for and psychological summary of my desicion (been in psychoanalytic therapy for almost a year for multiple reasons) so he know that my choice is well founded. I Schedule and hour with the psychiatrist for next Tuesday =). Another thing was that I also had a "Journal" in another forum (Pegym), but this was/is different than here. There the "atmosphere" is a little bit "agresive" than here, and a lot of people talks lots of bullshit. There is a lot of people in that forum that I aprecciate (not like family or a close friend) and this misinformation that my buddies read, this BS, did not kept me in a good mood because I was arguing with lots of information but mostly using my experience + knowledge to argue and they just posted some websites about an article, besides it is really hard for me to write in english, I have to use google translator + a dictionary and my grammar is not the best. The reasons I relapse where just because of my ""weaknes"" (I was a having a hard time), but things seems to be getting better now. I chose this forum because you guys are more kind and open-minded and that helps a lot. I've learn a lot of Nutrition, sexual health(prostate) and exercise in this period so i'm more excited than ever to achieve this goal, to erase my ED. I won't write everthing that a went through, that would be too much work. Sry for the long post and greetings to everyone!! Cheers mates!!
     
  10. Rundo

    Rundo Guest

    · Day 4: Tooked almost 2 hours to fell asleep las night, why?, because sexual thoughts and erections that appeared and dissapeared many times. Then woke up around 6.30am to take a pill and take a leak, and the guy was standing up, i can't remember the last time I urinated with an erection. Then woke up around 9.30, another morning wood. I'm not feeling like really sexual and energetic about sex, but some normal-cute-girls on the street capted my atention like only an average hot girl would. I'm having a little battle with the urge to masturbate but so far everything is controled. Peace out!
     
  11. Rekindle

    Rekindle New Member

    That's great man, with the erection and all, seems like you are experiencing frequent erections and your are not in flatline like most guys experience, keep going!
     
  12. Rundo

    Rundo Guest

    Yeah, I mean I don't feel like a sex beast but it's a good start. I would like to flatline as soon as posible instead of waiting too much, but I know i'm not in control of that.
     

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