Hello, I am starting a journal on this site and will keep updating regularly. Background: Recovering sex and love addict Bottom-Lines: Inappropriate relationships, anonymous sex, paid sex, strip clubs, Porn, Masturbation, Fantasy, codependent relationships I DO NOT suffer from ED, my screen name is an old karaoke name. However, at the root of this disease, despite our different manifestations and symptoms, I believe all of us here suffer from the same thing- inability to manage our anxiety. I am a 35 year old graduate student taking a non-traditional path late in life and has been going through some major transitions in maturity and personal growth. I was compulsively into drugs as a teenager, found religion and was compulsively into that for many years. Was a serial monogamist for a few years, had a bad break up and found myself trying to up the dopamine level of porn by seeking out prostitutes which led into a full-on addiction and a lot of grief and depression. I started going to Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous and getting help. Then I started applying the methods of abstinence I discovered at reuniting/YBOP and have been slowly growing into a new way of life. I have been a series of relationships where I am sometimes trying to escape and other times trying to be escaped from. I have examined both sides of the coin for too long and I just want some relief from this disease and some clarity so I can focus on my work/studies. I am currently expanding my network and activities in the SLAA 12 step group. I have been at this recovery for about 5 years and have seen some amazing improvements in my life. I have identified some major tools in my recovery of personality. I am currently going through therapy, applying the abstinence, keeping with 12 step culture, doing as many healthy top-line behaviors as I can like exercise, eating well, meditating, refining social skills and even prematurely dating and even some PUA. I look forward to sharing my experiences and hearing others as well. I find journaling to be an effective form of personal therapy and have learned so many tools from being open to other people's ideas on these forums.