Rising Sun!

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by wataru, Sep 19, 2012.

  1. wataru

    wataru New Member

    Ok, so I'm 22 year old guy who has been masturbating since age 8. At first, it was imagination and pictures from newspaper, porn came around age 12 and that's when things got bad. I didn't jerk off like a maniac for several times a day, but I did develop a habit of masturbating once a day to porn (sometimes more, sometimes less, but once per day is average). As years progressed I needed more and more extreme porn to get me aroused and by this day I have seen everything. Every sick perversion and fetish out there, I have seen it and masturbated to it. All those years of extreme porn and masturbation left me with a weak erections, loss of morning and random erections and my libido has almost decreased to 0. When sex with real women came into play, at first I had trouble getting it up and keeping it up (because, deep inside, I really didn't have the desire to have sex) and when I managed to get it up and stick it in, I would suffer from premature ejaculation and come within a minute of constant stimulation (this also happens if I masturbate for I minute or two constantly, I guess that's the way I trained my penis during the years). I also suffer from anxiety and depression, both symptoms of porn induced ED. After reading online about the problems porn addiction can cause, I decided to start the reboot and get my libido back and fix my PE.

    Funny thing is, when I decided to quit, I didn't feel sad or had any cravings. Instead, I felt nothing. No desire to watch porn, no desire to masturbate, no morning wood, no desire for real life women, nothing, like I was dead down there. I had couple of wet dreams and some weak morning woods, but that's about it. This continued for 10 days. Around day 11 I began feeling hornier and hornier, I started noticing real women more and more, and I would get erections (still weak erections though) thinking about women or sometimes looking at them. This continued to day 14 and I really thought that my libido was getting better because I was constantly thinking about women. I knew I was going to relapse, but I decided to test myself with masturbation just to see if I made any progress. It was masturbation to pure touch, no fantasy or porn, so that's a good thing at least. I was able to easily achieve full, 100% strong erection (though with physical stimulation, when I began it was around 60%) and I was able to stimulate it for 10+ minutes, constantly (witch was impossible before) before I came. So, 2 weeks without PMO cured both my ED and PE. But, as soon as I came, things went back to the way they were when I started the reboot. Again, no desire for sex or masturbation, no desire for women, nothing. I guess it was just the urge to release and not the sign of a returning libido.

    Now I'm starting round 2 of no PMO and this time I won't try any tests or relapses. I have seen the effects of 2 weeks, I can only imagine what will 4 months do. And 4 months should be enough to get my libido back, not just the urge to release. Right now I'm at day 5 and feel the same as I did on day 5 of round 1. I'll post updates about my progress from time to time. And finally, I should add that no PMO also cured my anxiety and depression A LOT. I used to be down all the time before, now I'm smiling for no reason.
     
  2. Pedigree

    Pedigree Active Member

    Re: Getting my libido back

    Welcome to the forum. I think you're a prime candidate for being one of those people who will show results early. If you think 100% full erection is awesome with stimulation, you just wait until you're able to get 100% full erection without any stimulation.
     
  3. wataru

    wataru New Member

    Re: Getting my libido back

    Libido is more of a concern to me than the erections themselves. Because, if I'm horny enough (be it libido or just the urge to release) I seem to have no problem in getting 100% ones and keeping them (with physical stimulation though). But the problem is that I'm usually not and getting hard erection and keeping them in that state is impossible. So I'll wait for my libido to come back completely and then I should have no problems. Full hard morning wood should be an indicator of normal libido and I still don't have those (I do get them but they are very weak).
     
  4. HateAnxiety

    HateAnxiety New Member

    Re: Getting my libido back

    Hi Wataru. I have some ideas about what is going on. I believe erections is not ALWAYS about libido. For example, lot of addicted guys can get hard seeing porn. In the first weeks of my reboot I got 100% erections not due to libido, but due to cravings. In the first week I was so "horny" (cravings) that I got hard a lot. But eventually the cravings start to get low, so I didn't get erection any more and started to heavily flatline.

    But this are just thoughts. Keep up with the journal and keep us posted!
     
  5. wataru

    wataru New Member

    Re: Getting my libido back

    And I agree with you, for example now I don't fell any desire for both sex and porn and don't have any erections, but if I am to put a porn and watch it I would get hard. 2 weeks after my first attempt I also got hard but because of cravings. And my goal is not to get hard to cravings or porn, but to healthy libido. I'll just wait for the cravings to hit again (I assume somewhere around day 11, at least that's what happened the last time), resist them, and then we'll see what happens.
     
  6. HateAnxiety

    HateAnxiety New Member

    Re: Getting my libido back

    Yes! Go for it and keep us posted! That's what I'm doing now. Î know that if I have fantasies I may get a weak erection. Like in the PMO times, lame erections with sexual fantasy (mental masturbation). When you are in flatline is tempting to have fantasies to see something going on, but at the same time, counterproductive. When a fantasy pops up in my mind I just refocus on something else and that's it. I know now that real libido is WAY different from cravings. Some signs of real libido are spontaneous erections, attraction to real world girls, stuff like that. Everybody who did it said that they KNOW when libido come back!

    So keep us posted.
     
  7. wataru

    wataru New Member

    Re: Getting my libido back

    DAY 7:

    One week of no PMO. Yesterday I woke up with a weak morning wood, today I didn't get one but I had nighttime erections of same intensity which is the same thing. Beside that, I'm still in the flatline, no fantasy, no movement down there, no desire for both women and porn, no cravings. So, for now, basically nothing new to report.
     
  8. wataru

    wataru New Member

    Re: Getting my libido back

    DAY 13:

    Just like in my previous reboot, I was out of the flatline at day 10/11. Now I can easily get erections (weak ones) from imagining women from real life. If I take those erections and provide them with a gentile physical touch, I can get them to erection quality of around 90% or more. And I no longer need to flex my PC muscles in order for them to stay hard or to stand strait ( I had to do this before). Now, my muscles are totally relaxed, I feel like my penis is actually a part of my body, and as long as there is physical touch, erection stays at 90%+ and stands up strait. But as soon as the stimulation goes away, the erection goes down as well.

    I had two wet dreams in a row. I really thought that I would hit the flatline after them just like I hit the fletline when I relapsed after masturbation to orgasm. WRONG. Wet dreams are an orgasm, but they don't set me back like masturbation to orgasm, they even help by adding a little "libido boost".

    Although I can easily get erections now I still don't have "real" desire to use them (masturbate or sex) so my libido is still very low. Also, I still have way weak nocturnal erections, no random ones and I still can't get erections from simply looking at girls without thinking something dirty in my head at the same time. All in all, I have made some big improvements but I'm still far away from being healed (15 years of bad habits won't disappear in 2 weeks). So I'm continuing with the reboot, hoping for even more positive changes in the future.

    A BRIEF UPDATE ON DAY 13:

    I know I probably shouldn't have, and I won't be doing this anymore, at least not for a month or two, but I tested my progress via masturbation WITHOUT orgasm, just to see how my erections were doing and most notably, my PE. It was a constant stimulation, with normal speed, without stopping, for whole 10 minutes (I could have gone longer, but decided to stop). My EQ was around 90% the whole time and I didn't flex my PC muscles not a single time. So there you have it, no PE and no ED (but I still needed that touch to keep my erection). A few weeks ago, this would have been impossible. I've definitely made improvements and they can only get better as time goes on. And, as I said, I won't try similar tests for at least a month, because, although not an orgasm, it is still a relapse in a mild way.
     
  9. Unstable

    Unstable Member

    Re: Getting my libido back

    Hey brother, we are on the exact same dates and same symptoms e.g. PE/ED. Hopefully we both reach 90/120 dates together and fully recovered. Best of luck with your recovery
     
  10. wataru

    wataru New Member

    Re: Getting my libido back

    Thanks man. I'm seeing a whole lot of improvements after 2 weeks, I can't imagine what benefits will I have after 2 or 3 months. How are you doing with your reboot? Any improvements?
     
  11. Unstable

    Unstable Member

    Re: Getting my libido back

    I have nothing to really report about except vivid dreams, erection by thought alone and better sleep slightly, I been this far couple times and failed. But this time I quite serious about going all the way, I mainly hoping for PE to fix since I think I’m able to get hard with a female easily.

    http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic=1740.0

    Here is a thread about PE also includes my theory
     
  12. wataru

    wataru New Member

    Re: Getting my libido back

    DAY 15:

    I was standing in the line in the supermarket today and there was a woman in front of me with nice looking boobs. I was looking at her without thinking anything and it gave me an erection (weak one, I still can't get full ones without touch). Good sign.
     

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