Day 15 : I honestly can't remember how long it's been since I have gone this long w/out PMO. I think in the late afternoon and before 10 pm I find myself thinking what a great stress-reliever it would be. And, like so many time in the past 20 years find my self "reserving" a later time when all is done that I'll just do it and be done with it and continue on in my life like nothing ever happened, no consequences. That is when my rational thinking comes in and reminds me this would not be wise, and has NEVER been a one time event &I I'll just go on with my life like nothing ever happened, no consequences. Never, a lie I have fell for time and time again. I don't know how long my rational self will appear and remind me of this. What I do as an addict is make very irrational decisions based on fear much of the time. Part of my recovery from PMO is to not be driven by my fears, facing them head on.