Reluctant werwolf: The thing I'm most fearful of........

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by lysol77, May 17, 2017.

  1. lysol77

    lysol77 New Member

    Day 15 :
    I honestly can't remember how long it's been since I have gone this long w/out PMO. I think in the late afternoon and before 10 pm I find myself thinking what a great stress-reliever it would be. And, like so many time in the past 20 years find my self "reserving" a later time when all is done that I'll just do it and be done with it and continue on in my life like nothing ever happened, no consequences. That is when my rational thinking comes in and reminds me this would not be wise, and has NEVER been a one time event &I I'll just go on with my life like nothing ever happened, no consequences. Never, a lie I have fell for time and time again. I don't know how long my rational self will appear and remind me of this.
    What I do as an addict is make very irrational decisions based on fear much of the time. Part of my recovery from PMO is to not be driven by my fears, facing them head on.
    Last edited: Jun 9, 2017
  2. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    All addicts deal with what you're going through, and yes PMO would relieve your stress...but afterwards your stress will skyrocket and you'll be trapped again. The cure fells like shit, the disease feels great -- that's why addiction is such a bitch.

    There is no such thing as one relapse. For me that has been the case, one relapse leads to more and back into the cycle.
  3. lysol77

    lysol77 New Member

    Little while since I've posted. Still battling urges, and still knowing that it's just my way of coping with life. I'm going to keep reading/posting on here because this has worked for close to a month now. Still grateful too!

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