Something I'm struggling deeply with now is my anxiety in relationships. I always panic whenever I start a relationship, and somehow I can't seem to get over it. I always want a relationship, but I'm always anxious beyond belief whenever I start one. I am sure porn has something to do with this, as I've trained my brain to be used to having access to any kind of womeni want got the internet. To be perfectly honest I don't think quitting porn will cut it for me as a method of fixing this problem. Does anyone have any advice?
So what leads to you becoming anxious? Do you become anxious after the first kiss? Touching? Sex? Moving in together? ...? Do you know what you are anxious about? Her leaving you? You not being good enough for her? ...? One way psychologists try to cure patients is by helping them understand the causes for their problems. The patient can then find solutions how to avoid or deal with these causes, thus alleviating the issues.
My anxiety behindat even the thought of starting a relationship. I have been trying like hell to figure out what causes it but I just can't. I don't know what's wrong with me. I can only think that is something to do with porn addiction and how that would train my brain to crave access to lots of different kinds of women, so trying to comple to someone just sends me into a panic.
So i take it you haven't had a relationship yet that lasted any significant amount of time? Have you got (female) friends you can talk to about this? I've found that helpful on occasion. I'm on the other side of the spectrum, i'm not scared of having a relationship, but too hasty with my feelings for girls. I'm in the process of finding a therapist myself. It might be worth your while to make an appointment with one to see wether he thinks he can help you foster a more positive attitude to relationships with women and drop your porn habit.
Speak more objectively about the nature of your 'struggle'. You speak of 'panic' and 'anxiety'. OK, you feel some uncomfortable feeling? How does that affect your choices, actions, and the actual outcomes you're getting? Specifics, friend! We need to get you out of your head, methinks, so let's look at some facts of your situation.
Porn addiction is usually the symptom, not the core problem, much like anxiety. I think you're using it as a scapegoat for something much deeper. Perhaps a fear of rejection or abandonment? I think you're a little confused as to the kind of chemical changes taking place in your brain as a result of addiction, but that's not really the point. You've probably been using porn to deal with the deeper problem and now it's a convenient scapegoat. I agree with FritzBrause...find a therapist. Somebody who knows how to navigate you to understanding what really is the problem is probably your best starting to point to figure out what's really going on.
If you are talking about relationships, there is no need to become anxious. It can be one of the most pleasurable relations. In your case, it seems like you want a relationship but you get more panic while starting a relation. I know doing things is very difficult that saying, but try to open up, speak about your problem with your girl. I hope this will definitely help to understand. Most of the time, speaking or expressing solve any problem.
@marklivin What makes you nervous about that kind of relationship? What is the difference in your location?
Relationships can be the best source of joy but at the same time can lead to anxious thoughts and feelings. Sometimes it happens for those who are single, just a single thought about relationship can lead to stress and anxiety. In order to overcome anxiety, you should focus on what's going inside, what's stopping you to get into the relationship. This self analysis can play an important role in understanding feelings and inner behavior.
