Hi all, So I had a really good streak, maybe 9 or 10 days or so. It felt like a minor miracle given everything that I've been through over the last few months. But then the last few days I've been relapsing a lot. So what can I learn from this? The first thing is that the reason I went on a good streak wasn't anything spectacular, I didn't have an epiphany, I just decided to stop doing it. I decided that relapsing was not an option, it was something that I shouldn't do, and then I was pretty stubborn with myself about not doing it. There was one morning where I felt the urge to relapse for a few hours, and I was so close to doing it several times, but I really just decided that I didn't want to do it, and then after a few hours the urge passed. What I'm really understanding is that relapsing is not some all-powerful thing that you can't break free from - your mind and body doesn't actually have any physical dependency on porn or cyber sex. Eventually the urge will pass if you don't give into it. So really relapsing comes down to that split-second decision when you decide whether or not to open up that tab on your phone. And if you really decide you don't want to do it, then you don't. As I said above: "If he [the self-claimed porn addict] decides to be a different person he can stop that routine, and if he stops that routine he will become a different person." The second thing I learnt is that having a short term goal or aim in mind really does help a lot, at least in the beginning. I had an event to attend last weekend and I just said to myself that if I can avoid relapsing until that event, then that would be a good progress achieved. And thats's exactly what happened. And for those days leading up to the event, I was really clear in my mind that I wasn't going to relapse. When you plan to stop relapsing in general, and have no set goal in mind, it becomes difficult to focus on what you're doing. I'm not a massive believer in counting the days, but I do think having short term goals, at least in the beginning, is useful. So why did I relapse again after a good streak? The first thing is that I just lost focus. I didn't have anything to aim towards anymore. The second thing is that I got cocky and thought I had cracked it, so I started getting loose with myself again. I allowed myself to have a little peek, or just go on it for a few seconds, and then immediately closed it again. I was telling myself that it didn't really count as a relapse because I didn't actually do anything but this is the wrong mindset to be in. Because once you allow yourself a little peek, then your brain tells itself that it's okay to go back for more, and then of course you end up with a 'full relapse'. So going forward, I need to set myself a goal. Now my goal is next Friday when I have another social event coming up. And then, after I accomplish that goal, I need to set myself another goal after that, another week or so afterwards, and after a while I will just decide that it's not worth doing anymore. But ultimately, I just need to stick to my decision that I no longer want to do this and stop eating this fucking junk food. This is what 're-gaining the will' is all about.