Rediscovering the real me

Discussion in 'Ages 25-29' started by Queen|s Gambit, Jan 23, 2015.

  1. Queen|s Gambit

    Queen|s Gambit New Member

    Good morning. Another day. Another opportunity to chose real girls over virtual girls. Can't have both.

    Reminds me of the part of Noah book where he writes about 3 paths. 1 Path: PMO as usual, 2 Path: No-P at all, and 3rd Path: middle of the road, you know P is bad for you but you'd still like to indulge from time to time. Paraphrasing a bit.

    I see it clearly now. P and real life are mutually exclusive. I can have one but not both. Things are a lot simplified now.

    Yesterday, was another P free day. No bullshit.

    @SB yeah, Coursera is great, give it a try. It is free with a few caveats. Recently only if you pay for a course you can submit assignments for grades. So in effect you are free to have all the course materials just not free to grade the assignments.
  2. Queen|s Gambit

    Queen|s Gambit New Member

    I remember posting this at the beginning of my no-P, no-fap journey.

    I didn't understand it at the time. I understand it now.

    There are only 2 paths. The path of P and the path of no-P. There is no other way. Maybe P is the same as P.

    Good luck everybody.
  3. Queen|s Gambit

    Queen|s Gambit New Member

    Good morning. A brand new day. Let's stay true to the objective. My good friends let's make it so.

    Yesterday, spend a few minutes on instagram. Then I asked myself: Virtual girl or real girl? I can only chose one. I stopped browsing instagram. I don't need or want P. But I do want and need a real girl. The choice is obvious.

    Good luck, everybody.
  4. Queen|s Gambit

    Queen|s Gambit New Member

    A new day. A new opportunity to do something with out lives.

    A bit tempted yesterday. Again, I don't get it. Got urge to watch this one particular scene. Not an urge like go to PornHub and go crazy. But just watch this particular P scene. Out of no where, why my addiction chose this scene? Wtf.

    Anyway, I reminded myself, real girl or virtual girl, can't have both. Either left side of the road or the right side of the road. As much as I'd like having a real girl and still have P...wait, why would I need P if I had a real girl? Makes no sense.

    Time for reality is coming.

    Good luck everybody.
  5. Queen|s Gambit

    Queen|s Gambit New Member

    Bad day yesterday. Horny the whole day. MO'ed to fantasy, so tired just took a nap, still horny, PIV fantasy, nap. In the evening, curiosity killed the cat with a quick PMO. I didn't even want it. Autopilot. The only good thing is that I did it quick.

    Here I go again. From the top. Choosing real life over fantasy world.
  6. Queen|s Gambit

    Queen|s Gambit New Member

    Since morning I feel like I am somehow changed. Unaffected by the relapse yesterday. Actually felt pretty OK in the morning. Never felt this nice in a long while. 0 desire to watch P. Even yesterday when I relapsed to P (total watch time 1-2 minutes), every part of me, except for the autopilot, is saying, Nope, this isn't turning you on. Every minute felt so scripted, everything the girl said just made me realize this aren't her words. This are the words of people like me who paid for this virtual fantasy to happen.

    I finally feel how P is not the choice I want to make to my core. It feels like the real come-to-jesus moment. I am even crying. Really hope this is the real deal this time.

    I am ready for the next chapter in my life. Here is my new journal and the new username. I shall be knowns as The Alpinist. Time to climb out of this hole and time to climb some mountains (in real life).

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