Recovery Journal: I Am a Stone

Discussion in 'Ages 25-29' started by WilltoPower, May 12, 2019.

  1. WilltoPower

    WilltoPower Member

    Got my damn sociology paper done. Pissed me off that I had to search for ads that featured women. The pornified images got me edging a little bit, but I am proud to say that I did not swing over into hardcore porn.

    I've got a day and a half before I finally see my therapist. It would be nice if I could stay away from all unhealthy activities until then.

    Still feeling flat aside from periodic sadness,
     
  2. WilltoPower

    WilltoPower Member

    Went to therapy and now I feel exhausted. I decided this morning to correct a couple lies I told my therapist last time. One was small, but the other took guts to admit.

    We spoke about how I need to cultivate self-love. It's so difficult to do.
     
    Pete McVries likes this.
  3. Pete McVries

    Pete McVries Well-Known Member

    Good job! It's very important not to lie in therpay. Of course, you do not have to tell him/her everything and you can withhold stuff but lying (in the sense of saying the complete opposite of what the reality is) and then base therapy on this won't be very fruitful.

    Keep going!
     
    WilltoPower likes this.
  4. WilltoPower

    WilltoPower Member

    Thanks, Pete. I corrected what were actual lies. She also assured me that I didn't need to tell her absolutely everything either. One of my corrections opened myself to a lot of uncomfortable questions, but I don't think that therapy is supposed to be a comfortable process. It should be safe, but change is uncomfortable.
     
  5. WilltoPower

    WilltoPower Member

    Out of town enjoying spring break with friends, but I still have a lot of school work. I'm in the house by myself today, and I am thinking that I'm not getting the work done fast enough, that it's difficult, and how I could just get to porn so easily at the moment. Very frustrating. I shouldn't be by myself much longer. I'll just take a breather and maybe meditate.
     
  6. WilltoPower

    WilltoPower Member

    Recovering from a hangover and I used porn. I'm not completely sure why I did it. Maybe I was just looking for comfort. Why did I do this to myself? Why- No. I can't engage in negative self-talk. I made a mistake. I love myself.
     
  7. WilltoPower

    WilltoPower Member

    Just checking in to say that I'm still working hard. Therapy has been good and we are starting to delve into my personal issues that I would rather not discuss here. School is absolutely insane though. I am on the edge having a lot of trouble focusing. I'll need to calm myself and review what I did for anxiety in the past. It's a weak point for porn use after all.
     
    EatMySleazyPancakes33 likes this.

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