Recovering with girlfriend

Discussion in 'Erectile Dysfunction / Delayed Ejaculation' started by Slavi_Show, Jul 12, 2013.

  1. Slavi_Show

    Slavi_Show New Member

    So I definitely have PI ED but unfortunately I find that out after i had sex (for the first time in my life) with the girl that I've been dating. I wasn't that anxious or nervous but my erection wasn't full and after couple of minutes I was completely soft. We tried a few times after that and i performed close to OK but my erections wasn't at all full and there was still times that i go soft. I did't watch,think or fantasize about porn or masturbate for two weeks but I have sex with my girlfriend about 6,7 times I she gave my couple of hand-jobs:)(I can't find more appropriate word for that:)).
    My number one question is what should i avoid when i recover with my girlfriend. Is sex, oral, hand-stuff OK. Should I have orgasm or should I have to slow it down for a while. Actually I think it is important to know that I'm really athletic, have an extremely healthy diet and at all a healthy lifestyle. I don't have trouble avoiding porn at all despite that I masturbated a lot and watched heavy stuff but I have pretty good control over my body and brain and I don't have trouble directing my thoughts to my girlfriend and the real thing and keep them away from the ... other stuff. And I don't think that i'm that bad because i already have a couple of morning woods and actually my erections are not full, usually 60 70%, but sometimes i can keep it about 80, 90 % and we have a decent sex. All i have to know is what to do to speed up and help the healing process and not to slow it down. Thank you in advance and excuse my English i hadn't use it in a while:).
  2. spoonguy

    spoonguy New Member

    Well you're avoiding porn, which is good. Maybe avoid masturbation and just continue your relationship with your girl. I'd be careful about trying to speed things up as a rule, as things take time and that's one way to get frustrated.

    A lot of people with slightly more severe cases have to take to a reboot process which you may or may not want to do just to take the pressure off, but if its only a mild problem you sound like you've made the changes needed already.

    Good luck!
  3. Slavi_Show

    Slavi_Show New Member

    Thank you! But my problem is that actually I hadn't have full erection for a long long time (i don't know exactly but it is about year, year and a half). Even when i watched porn it was rarely more than 80 max 90% erect. Now when i have sex it's the same think and i almost always lose erection in the middle of the "process". I wont that to go away!!! And it's not that i AVOID porn or other sexual stimulus but I had completely erased that part of my life. But almost a month after I read all on the web about the problem and toke every action to and advice to heal my brain there is no actual result.
  4. spoonguy

    spoonguy New Member

    Well the basics seem to be:

    - Get checked by a doctor, it may be embarrassing to talk about, but this is one of those times where it'll be worth the embarrassment.
    - Look in to a reboot, which can take a lot longer than a month to see any results, could be 3 months, 6 or even more.

    It's not really a quick fix for many it seems, it's difficult not to obsess about it but stress wont help either. Don't be the guy counting to 90 days and expecting a miracle, you're on a good path and if you have PIED it'll take as long as it takes.
  5. fugu

    fugu "You know, feelin' good, livin' betta." :) Staff Member

    He nails it! Get checked out for every other possible cause for ED, this is a good first step.

    Then just start rebooting if it isn't anything else. :)
  6. Slavi_Show

    Slavi_Show New Member

    I highly doubt that it's something else. I live a really responsible and healthy lifestyle and all the symptoms match perfectly. The most important thing that I want to know is does the sex with my girlfriend and all the stuff that go along with it will slow down the process?
  7. redition

    redition New Member

    Man i have EXACTLY the same problem. . . I have a PIED and i found out about that the last 2 months. Before that i knew nothing about the whole story with what porn can cause. . .
    I totally quit porn more than a month ago and i can say i saw a little progress but the problem is that the same period i started dating a girl and when we started having some oral for 2-3days in a raw and then some sex and everything was almost ok with my penis, after those orgasms i started having problems with my erections again. Morning woods dissappeared again and i think my libido gone back to 0. What the hell are we gonna do? Tell them "oh sorry i cannot touch you for the next 2-3 months cause I've watched too much porn all these years"??? ?
  8. spoonguy

    spoonguy New Member

    If you really don't want to get checked by a doctor that's your choice. Unfortunately most people with ED problems likely watch porn as it's so prevalent in society, so even though PIED may seem to fit for you it may not be the case, however healthy and active a life you lead. Is it really worth the risk?

    As to if being with a girl will harm your reboot, I'd look in to the step of the reboot called rewiring. My understanding is you're trying to get your brain back to associating real women (or men for some) and physical contact rather than porn with sexual desire. The only reasons I can think of to stop is if you'll be embarrassed by not being able to perform.
  9. Slavi_Show

    Slavi_Show New Member

    Spoonguy I hope you are right because my girlfriend really loves and supports me and even i cant's say that it's not frustrating i think that for now i'm dealing somehow good with my not satisfying performance. Even she says that she likes it really much. But that guy redition completely describes how i feel. And believe me man except for the Internet i don't know where should i look for quality opinion about that thing.
  10. redition

    redition New Member

    Me too slavi_show i really don't know who to ask and who to believe... I just know that i wanna throw this shit out of me and i don't know the way exactly.
    Ok I'm not gonna have ANY orgasm related to porn again but is this enough or i have to quit any type of orgasms for 3 months(please no) ??

    Here's an interview of a guy talking about his success story and that it took him about 9 months because he was slowing down the whole story in the way we do (oral and sex with girls)
  11. rebooting with my girlfriend was extremely helpful

    after about 1.5mos of no PMO, we started having a lot of sex (long distance, she visited). at first I was like 80-90 hard but sex was still great and a huge improvement over limp. there was always a long refractory period, like half a day or even the whole day. but the refractory period slowly got shorter and shorter and i'm not sure where i'm at right now, i think 2 months no PMO and i'm at 100% hardness by thought alone and definitely 100% hard with her.

    i'm always a little skeptical of getting too scientific and strategic in matters of the brain. it's so much more complex than we think we know. your goal is to have sex with a human normally. us with PIED, our problem was practicing with a computer.

    i think you should practice with your girlfriend. just my opinion.
  12. Slavi_Show

    Slavi_Show New Member

    So ishouldreallyknowbetter you say that for a month and a half you withdraw all sexual stimulus like porn, masturbation and sex.

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