recovering from severe PIED

Discussion in 'Ages 25-29' started by Guts, May 28, 2018.

  1. Guts

    Guts Member

    222 days no porn/ 21 days no orgasm

    Thanks for the reply Luke.

    Feeling awesome. In the last 7 years of my life I haven't been this consistently happy. I still have some bad days, but they are dwindling.

    Waking erections are coming back off and on. Touching myself gives me a 100% erection and I don't ejaculate within 5 seconds of me doing so like I used to. Abstaining has never felt so easy.

    I think this might be the farthest I've ever gone without porn and as of right now I have no urges to use it ever again.
     
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  2. NewHorizon

    NewHorizon Member

    I just read your journal. 200 days is an impressive number ! You gave me hope.

    Thanks
     
    Guts likes this.
  3. Guts

    Guts Member

    Sure thing NewHorizon and thanks for stopping by. I just read through your journal, the only thing I would say to help you is that you don't want PIED. You've already recognized you have a problem and you have a girlfriend so you're on the right track. I've only gotten this far because I hit rock bottom. You're at the middle of the mountain so don't throw yourself off lol.

    I would also like to mention to anyone else reading this that I was a severe case. I had severe PIED, at the end of my run porn didn't even work for me.
     
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  4. NewHorizon

    NewHorizon Member

    Hey Guts! Thanks for reading my journal.

    Hitting rock bottom is surely a great motivation !

    I Added one post on my thread that could be relevant. I dont want to derail your thread.

    Peace my friend.
     
    Last edited: Jun 24, 2019
    Guts likes this.
  5. Guts

    Guts Member

    lol I don't mind. I wish more people would derail my thread. There was a time on these forums when it was very active. It worries me that it isn't so much anymore, maybe social media really has destroyed forums, idk.

    229 days no porn/ 28 days no orgasm

    I've had some form of morning wood every day now. I can't seem to stop touching myself though and it's really bothering me. Erections are 100% and are staying longer.
    It just all feels too unreal for me. I'm not used to this.
    I still have no urges for porn, but I am getting porn flashbacks which are incredibly annoying.

    If in the next two months I continue to see progress and no regression, I'll write my success story.
     
    NewHorizon likes this.
  6. Daimon

    Daimon Member

    Bro, good on you for surviving this thing. My addiction runs very deep but it makes me happy to see someone be able to progress like this without that shit. I want to be able to be like you, man.
     
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  7. Johhny Bravo

    Johhny Bravo Every temptation is another chance of life revival

    "It just all feels too unreal for me,"

    What I have found is either you will manufacture a way to make things feel normal at bay, or, a relapse and series of relapses is on the way round the corner.

    But, the word relapse has insight into it. I know it is thrown around on here on the forum like, "oh an addict has relapsed to his old immoral ways." Instead of that interpretation, I look at the word relapse as, your body and mind going back to a warm, cozy, familiar and SAFE place.

    If you make 'the new' feel safe and welcomed, you will desire to adjust to the new quicker and faster than wanting to go back to the old.

    The old only seems to have more pull to it, because you have associated more good feelings with it.

    Do you have better good feelings with 'the new' at the moment? If you do not, a relapse is on the way to protect you, so you go back to better familiar feelings.

    For me in the quest to stop compulsive porn use, I needed to make life beyond porn much more fun and interesting and stimulating.

    Every time I tried to quit with pure brute force without moving my energy anywhere else in any new direction, it was futile.

    But I'm sure you already know this! I'm posting just to write something and say hello :)
     
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  8. Guts

    Guts Member

    232 days no porn/ 31 days no orgasm/ 3 days no touching

    last night I woke up several times and everytime I woke I had a 100% erection that refused to go down. In the last 30 days I haven't had a single day where I couldn't get an erection.

    Today I cried happy tears, I don't know if I ever have done that in my life. I was able to sit on my patio today and I just looked at nature for an hour, the entire time I wasn't irritable at all. The constant irritability and urge to PMO or MO is completely gone.

    This has been the most difficult and humbling experience i've ever gone through in life. I've never been this happy, this at peace or this secure with my life ever.

    [​IMG]
     
    -Luke- likes this.
  9. Universal

    Universal Member

    Hey man,

    I just read through your journal..

    How time flys for us. I too have been on this forum since 2012/2013 (first account name was Universal, this is a new one). I remember the days of high activity with Fugu, Hogus, Gameover and the Underdog. I've been unsuccessful until I quit two weeks ago (currently 14 days no P or M)

    It's so good to read your recent success man. Your last post genuinely gives me hope and excitement.

    If I have anything to offer it's that do not be scared to hook up with Women now. For 6 years I have avoided taking things further with Women.. Two days ago I bit the bullet with a girl and I was very surprised to find I could get 70% and penetrate. If you find a girl to hook up with, man that will really put the final nail in the coffin.

    Related to your above image.. We all need to make our own Dokkodo.

    Keep winning, following your journal.
     
    Guts likes this.
  10. -Luke-

    -Luke- Well-Known Member

    That's really beautiful man. Glad that you're feeling so good.
     
    Guts likes this.
  11. Guts

    Guts Member

    237 days no porn

    Well, I eventually flatlined. The past two days I kept touching myself and I felt the sensitivity and libido diminish. I don't know if it was the touching or if this is just a part of recovery. It could be both. I forced an erection and an orgasm today, it sucked, but i'm relieved at least. The more and more I touched the more I wanted to keep doing it, I completely lost focus.
    But I know better now.

    DO NOT TOUCH

    I really thought I could cheat the system. I wasn't even getting close to orgasm when I was doing it too. I think it's best if I just go hardmode for sometime now. In 3 days I'll be at 8 months of no porn. I think this might be the longest I've gone without it.

    I appreciate all your replies guys, thank you.
     
    Last edited: Jul 8, 2019
  12. Guts

    Guts Member

    251 days no porn

    Past few days have been awesome. Waking, morning, and spontaneous erections are getting better every month.

    [​IMG]
     
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  13. Doper

    Doper Member

    Hats off to GUTS, very inspirational.
     
    Guts likes this.
  14. Guts

    Guts Member

    0 days no porn/ masturbation/ orgasm

    It happened. I know why. I can't work a full time job and fight this at the same time. It just overwhelms me.

    But I also think I've obsessed over this for too long. I was seeing progress after my 6 months hard mode, but I think I indulged too much in masturbating and it just sent me back to a flatline. I thought I could get away with orgasming once a month but that's just not working for me. It becomes a waiting game. I'll get out of the flatline, feel great, it makes me keep abstaining, I eventually flatline and then relapse while in a flatline and feel like shit. Reintroducing orgasms also gave me lots of porn flashbacks and pornographic dreams.

    So this is it.

    I'm gonna go hard mode until I never flatline ever again. I'm gonna completely forget about this shit. I'm not going to count the days. I've fought this for too long, and I'm ending it here.
     
  15. Universal

    Universal Member

    Hey man,

    8 months of no porn is still 8 fucking months of no porn. I'm with you on your judgements about hardmode and masturbation.

    Have you looked into getting a partner? Do you know what type of symptoms you experience if you O with a partner?

    I've found all types of O (including wet dreams) increase my cravings and impulses for P. However, O with a partner doesn't increase cravings for P whatsoever in my case.. I feel they do slow recovery so I'm going to limit them but they don't increase desire for P. I'm currently 50 days no P/M but with around 25 orgasms the past 50 days.. I've been 60 days complete hardmode in the past, you're right, they don't compare.

    Also, your MW and PIED sounds MILES better than mine.. You'd be surprised what a girl is willing to deal with in the bedroom if she gives a shit about you - especially if you're good with oral/hands.

    8 months from now... You're 16 months free of P with one slip up at half way, you've got this. Get back on the path quick, don't look back, don't give in to porn. Get it man.
     
    Guts likes this.
  16. Guts

    Guts Member

    Thanks for the reply Universal. The thing is I can only perform when I'm not in a flatline. Orgasms still put me in a flatline. I think I could have easily had sex a month or two ago. Idk about now.

    Porn is very easy to stay away from. It's the O that's the most difficult to stop I've found. I feel like I could go years without porn and still have PIED. I don't know, I could be wrong. Hard mode seems to be the only thing that's ever helped me see some recovery.
     
  17. Universal

    Universal Member

    Hey Guts, how has the past week been?
     
  18. Guts

    Guts Member

    Thanks for checking in Universal, Ive been clean and on hard mode still. Still not counting the days, and not focusing on this has been a great help. I'm still seeing a little improvement.

    Though, my goal is still no orgasm until I get consistent morning wood for atleast 3 months. I'm aiming on completley getting rid of this, this year.
     
    Universal likes this.
  19. Guts

    Guts Member

    It looks like the relapse I had to porn didn't do too much damage. I got an erection to a coworker a few weeks ago so that's an amazing improvement. The past few days Ive been able to get an erection by just thinking of getting one.

    It's amazing how long this shit takes to get rid of. But I feel like i'm getting close to getting out of this.
     
    Universal likes this.
  20. Guts

    Guts Member

    ok so I had successful sex
    [​IMG]















    ...with a sex toy......

    [​IMG]

    Zero ED, and I still have libido. The past few weeks i've been getting consistent morning wood and long lasting spontaneous erections, and even erections towards real women.
    It was just 3 weeks ago I thought I was gonna have to go a year with no O. Just shows how fucking up and down this shit is. It's insane.

    If I don't flatline in the next couple of days I think it's safe to say i'm cured. I'm still not going to have another O for a while though.

    10 months of no porn with one slip up 3 weeks ago.

    Time to go log off in shame lol
     

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