Recoverd after years of no legit sex and years of PMO

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by micheal28, Jun 16, 2013.

  1. micheal28

    micheal28 Member

    Hey Guys,

    This is where I started: I had porn induced erectile dysfunction since maybe 5 years and I am 28 now. I had the same girlfriend all the time. After having sex with her for one year i simply stopped. In the last 4 years we had sex maybe 10 times – with the help of viagra most of the time. You can imagine what this means to a woman...
    I myself was actually contempt with this situation. I thought to myself everything is working fine down there since I could masturbate to porn. This I did 1-3 times a day starting with 19 i guess. I guess i used some kind of death grip. My dick went limp seconds i stopped touching it. I never had sex dreams or morning wood. And I think you would not believe me as long as you did not experienced it yourself: I just did not care!!! I was in a massive brain fog.

    In Febuary 2013 two things happend:

    1. I met a new woman – my current Girlfriend and quit my relationship.
    2. I discovered yourbrainonporn.com by mere chance while browsing through youtube.

    I had sex with my new Girlfriend maybe 10 times all the time depending on viagra or other stuff. Someday april i began my reboot – no porn and no masturbation anymore. I did not tell my new Girlfriend of my problems since I did not want to scare her of. I was actually very terrified that i could not have a normal sex life with her. Her Exboyfriend was into tantra sex and she is a very sexual person.

    On May the 17th it happened (DAY ZERO): I already had massive problems not only getting an erection but to ejaculate since sex did not get to me. I just did not like it and it felt alien to me. Now i not only couldn't climax anymore but I also got limp inside my girlfriend ALTOUGH i had taken 20 mg of cialis. The next day the same happenend again. Now i felt realy shitty: How should this relationship work out if i had problems in this massive scale? On the drive home i tought to myself that i feel disgust (!) if my sexy (!) Girlfriend touches me.

    This marks day one of my actual reboot since i told myself:

    No porn ever! (NEVER AGAIN!)
    No masturbation at least as long as I have a girlfriend i can have sex with.
    No viagra no cialis etc. anymore

    Weekend One: (day 6) We have a long distance relationship so had to leave next morning being terrified the whole next week. The next weekend i drove to her and told myself that i will definitly tell her SOMETHING. I was to scared to do it the first evening but told her in the morning.
    What did I do: First thing was I told my Girlfriend that i had this kind of problems before and that it is not her fault. I told her that i feel depressed because it happened again and that it maybe takes one to two month till it will work out again. Itold her it is performance anxiety and if something like getting limp in a woman happens to a man he gets severly depressed and it doesn't work for a long time. I had the advantage that i could perform "great" while using viagra – which i never told her. I guess she was not worried because of that. Of course i read all the encouraging storys about how guys rebooted but this is yourself and at that time i was not so sure about wether it will work out or how long it would take.

    We had a long conversation. She was very encouraging. She loves me a lot and she said we will both get over it as long as it may take.

    Believe it or not: We cuddled afterwards and my penis – for the first time in years – got hard by itself. I simply forgot that i had PIED or performance anxiety and we had sex. I would not believe it if it was not me. After five years the first time legit sex without the help of viagra. Of course I felt great. I do not know how long my actual reboot was at that time but i guess at that time my last PMO was three weeks ago. I did not climax because i chose not to. I heard that orgasm could throw you back in your reboot so i stopped before i climaxed.
    The next day it again did not work which i did not care much about because i had my first succces!


    The next week
    i for the first time since years i had morning wood. It felt great. I in total felt great about myself and felt as a newborn sex god ;-). The next weekend my girlfriend came to me and we had sex again at friday evening again not climaxing. The next morning i guess flatline started. Sex did not work. I could not get an erection and I got mildly depressed. That is why i thought about taking antidepressants and asked about it here: http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic=10101.0

    Thank god i felt better naturally and altough i did not have morning wood or sex dreams anymore – i guess i was in flatline – wanted to try rebooting since i read that it also helps with depression resp. flatlinedepression goes away when flatline goes away.

    The next week I met my ex-girlfriend. I told her everything about my condition since i felt obliged to do so. She suffered a lot in the last years. I wrote about it here: http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic=10231.0

    Last weekend (day 28) my girlfriend came to me. I was still in flatline but i thought we could have sex maybe once since it worked out fine the last weekends. But NOTHING happened. Initially my dick got hard just by smelling my sexy and sweaty girlfriend. When we went to bed and things started to get serious it again did not work. I wasn't feeling to depressed since i thought to myself that i am in flatline and since i had first success it will get better. I still talked again to my girlfriend and told her about how it feels for a man not to get an erection. We maybe talked for an hour and then the magic happened: Again, my penis got hard and we had sex. This time not only one time but two times this evening and my erection quality was great. I could easily get up and close the window, get back to her and continue having sex.
    The next day we again had sex three times.The best thing is: Yesterday she also blew me and I climaxed. The next morning I felt like all my energy is gone. I felt so great collecting all this sexual energy for 28 days while not climaxing and now it is all gone. But thank god: I again was able to have sex with my girlfriend! We went to the forest in the afternoon and you can probably guess what happend there....


    Today: I do not feel that i am completly healed. I think I made GREAT progress but i still feel that i am not back to normal. I may hit flatline again but now i am SURE that this all is curable 110 %!!!!!

    Other good stuff:
    1. My skin got better.
    2. My mood got better. I am more interested in the wellbeing of others and less egoistic.
    3. I wake up early and my girlfriend and my best friend asked me: "ho come that you are NEVER tired?" This opened my eyes: I do have a lot more energy. I am full !!! of power ;-)

    What worked for me?
    1. No Porn!
    2. No Masturbation!
    3. No orgasm! I told my Girlfriend that i feel much better when i do not orgasm and that i will not climax the next weeks.
    4. Sports and a healthy diet because this helps you with your overall wellbeing.
    5. praying. I believe in god and he helped me a lot. Also the alcoholics anonymous believe that a higher force will help them with their addiciton.
    6. If you have a Partner tell her SOMETHING! It takes the pressure of you and she feels better.
    7. Also tell your ex-parnters if she suffered, as my ex-GF. (I had massive feelings of guilt).
    8. I also told my mother and my sister. After three weeks reboot i just did'nt care much i guess. This helped me accepting my condition.
    9. Stay on this forum. Ask questions and help others!




    That's it! I will continue my journey and keep you updated.

    To all of you who are where i started (i was practically impotent!!): Reebooting works 110 %. Just give yourself a little time. Some take longer but YOU WILL HEAL!! I did not believe it myself a long time.


    Thank you Gary and Marnia! You can not imagine what how much you helped me and countless other.
     
  2. Naandrew

    Naandrew Guest

    Good read thanks for sharing
     
  3. Sizzler_89

    Sizzler_89 New Member

    Bravo! You're story is really inspiring to me in my current situation.
     
  4. Zellomugi

    Zellomugi Guest

    I read all of this and it was really inspiring. Thanks for the contributions :)
     
  5. Great story, very inspiring. The thing that resonated most with me was how you opened up to others about your problem and allowed them to support you. That takes a lot. Keep it up bro.
     
  6. Hexxus

    Hexxus How about NO

    seems to be rather quick heal compared to damage well done sir!


    i tend to think porn is not much of a big deal. it's just random girl is not doing for us today. but you got one passionate about you and special and it works :>

    i hope for the same in the future for me
     
  7. micheal28

    micheal28 Member

    Just a quick update: Sex works perfectly fine. No problems whatsoever.

    I could not believe Garys words when he wrote "Know that your sexual performance is likely to be outstanding once you are fully recovered." But that's just the way it is with me. I feel like being 15 again.

    I stay on this forum just for interest but right now i cannot believe that this even was an issue. Sex comes completly natural and we both enjoy it a lot!

    In fact sometimes i think it is to much but maybe I am not used to getting boners just looking at hot girls. ;-)




    Do not give up hope. I also thought that it would NEVER get better.
    For some it takes some time but there is no other way than complete healing. You may ask "why?"

    Answer: You are a very sexual person – you have watched porn to feed your desire.Right now your "Sex Brain" is a gourmet. It only wants your hand and only the greatest pornstars in the universe and at best 50 of them and only new ones. Right now your "sex brain" is still fat but now you set it on a diet.
    Your brain may think: I only want to be fed with porn. I dont like "real woman". It may go on strike for maybe 100 days but eventually it has to realise: There will never be your hand and 50 pornstars again. So your now sex hungry brain is again willing to take everything: You start getting horny for real women again and you will get hard because your brain is hungry for it!
     
  8. TheFuture

    TheFuture Allow me to reintroduce myself

    A fantastic recovery, can I ask, I'm not clear from your post exactly how long it took you to recover before you could start having real sex, was is roughly one month? if so that's pretty fast. How frequent did you watch porn? Also are planning to not MO permanently whilst with a girlfriend?
     
  9. micheal28

    micheal28 Member

    Thank you! I think i owned it to her it made her feel better and this in turn helped me a lot. On this i am also very proud! I took it from the alcoholics anonymous twelve step programm which says


    Make a list of all persons we had harmed, and become willing to make amends to them all.


    I am very sure that the 12 step program also works for Porn addicts, because addiction works the same.


    I guess timline looked like this

    Beginning of the year:
    I quit porn-videos at the beginning of the year because i sensed that there might be something wrong with that but used facebook and picture sites as substitute and did not cut down on masturbation.

    May 1st i started rebooting for one week – had than a big relapse which would not have happended if i had known about yourbrainonporn.com – then i started again.
    means May 9ish quit everything

    I cannot realy tell but i guess it must have been 2-4 weeks of complete abstince wich got me to my first legit sex! I am quite sure that all i did before (switching to pictures or facebook) did not contribute much to my succes. I guess it was

    1. accepting the problem (may 17th)
    2. telling my Girlfriend (the week after)
    3. telling my ex-gf
    4. telling my sister and my mum (i realy must have accepted it then ;-) )
    5. No PMO or Masturbation since then.
    Plus: I am sure having someone to rewire with - a GF - also realy helps but you HAVE to tell her

    I watched porn 1-5 times a day, since 19-20. Before that i used my imagination mostly. I used deathgrip. I did not have sex with my ex-gf without the help of viagra for 4 years at least.

    In Retrospective i was pretty lucky because i had a normal sex-relationship from being 15-17, so i knew the real deal plus i started RELATIVLY late with PMO.

    I thought about that because i am actually REALY horny right know and it bothers me on work. Also right now my relationship is ONLY about sex, we actually dont go outside on the weekend. Right now i stick to what works which is no Porn and no masturbation. But i guess in 2-3 weeks i'll go on a masturbation schedule (NO PORN of course). I feel pretty confident that i am able to do that without getting kicked back because i actualy mostly have desire for sex and not for masturbation. I also NEVER had a problem to refrain from masturbation and/or porn after i got enlighted ;-)

    So just stick with it. I try to stick with you guys on this forum becuase unfortunatly there are only some poeple here who have recovered and still write.
     
  10. TheFuture

    TheFuture Allow me to reintroduce myself

    Great stuff, thanks for your response, yes definitely very few success stories so appreciate you posting.
     
  11. bcee

    bcee New Member

    "Do not give up hope. I also thought that it would NEVER get better.
    For some it takes some time but there is no other way than complete healing. You may ask "why?"

    Answer: You are a very sexual person – you have watched porn to feed your desire.Right now your "Sex Brain" is a gourmet. It only wants your hand and only the greatest pornstars in the universe and at best 50 of them and only new ones. Right now your "sex brain" is still fat but now you set it on a diet.
    Your brain may think: I only want to be fed with porn. I dont like "real woman". It may go on strike for maybe 100 days but eventually it has to realise: There will never be your hand and 50 pornstars again. So your now sex hungry brain is again willing to take everything: You start getting horny for real women again and you will get hard because your brain is hungry for it! "

    This might be one of the most insightful analogies I've ever read on here. It really struck a chord. Very inspirational story, congrats on your success.
     
  12. Stiffenthesinews

    Stiffenthesinews when no one else ever cared

    This is something I look forward to, since sex doesn't feel entirely natural just yet. I also want to reinforce the importance of telling the girlfriend - it takes so much pressure off!

    But thanks for keeping us updated. Everything you say is so inspiring :)
     

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