Hi All, I want to reclaim my life .. which as going into vain due to internet porn and smoking addictions; Let me introduce myself first ... I am 36 year old young man ... married since last 7 years ... addicted to internet porn from last 18 years in last 7 years this addiction became more after i got an high speed internet connection... Marriage didn't solved my problem as i am liking to masturbate with internet by finding different kind of fantasies... marriage made it worst because sleeping with a women and not having sex on bed pushed me more towards the porn and masturbation its became daily even twice a day... its just like before going to office 1-2 hrs of porn search and masturbation and in night the same story .... Mine wife is less interested in sex (frequency of sex is 1-2 times a month ) that's the different story altogether... Worst part is i found porn as escape from real life problems and a pleasure activity .... I have seen a lots of up's and down in life in studies, career and health ... every time i came back more stronger as a winner ... this time i wasn't able to do it... some time back i had an accident and was on bed for couple of months and then slowly i rehabilitated came back to so called normal life but this time with a lot of depression and physical weakness i was more short tempered , more irritable.. not as the previous human being ... and i tried to figure out the root cause of the problem ... I went to psychologist get treated my self for depression for six months then i realized its in my mind and my thoughts i have to conquer it and have to come out of those anti depression pills... I was able to move out of that and tired to keep my self highly motivated; that's last one year back i have stopped taking anti depression pills ... I have enrolled myself for gym so many times but hardly i was there it just like my donation to gym ... I wasn't very good at studies but i have done okay ... in professional life the rewards and appreciations has given me confidence that if any person on earth can do this its possible by me too ... in-spite from all of above problem i was doing good at my professional life and it was my pride, i was never counted in average employee but this was the first years when my appraisal rating fallen down to average from excellent... with time the confidence has turning out to be over confidence in terms of my carrier and health... all this frustration pushed me towards more smoking and more porn addiction ... I did a root cause analysis of mine life as its was much needed .. I figured out that i was much engaged in porn and self pleasure in last 18 years more then any thing else ... I was consistent in only one thing that is PMO ... the more i was in trouble the more i was getting into day dreaming and PMO ... the time when i was doing good in life the PMO factor was very less or totally absent ... So its my journey of challenging my inner self and reclaiming my life and i am not doing to put my foot again in my mouth and will prove again myself to life that i am worthy to be alive in this planet and the true happiness is for me too not just by PMO ... On 27-04-2019 i have started my journey towards this challenge for 90 days no PMO ... and today's is 1st days of this ... so i am keeping my finger cross and will update you all with my journey ... some people will find answers to there problem here and some may able to guide me to correct path ... so lets reclaim our life ... Its now !!! ->> IF I QUIT NOW, I WILL SOON BE BACK TO WHERE ITS STARTED .... AND WHEN I STARTED, I WAS DESPERATELY WISHING TO BE WHERE I AM NOW ...
Welcome aboard! Do you physically work out? Having a fit body is a good goal while you rewire from PMO.
Day 1 - Day is about to end ... as its weekend and I am home alone today and having strong urge for PMO . I am trying hard to keep myself busy and distracted so i don't get into trap again, Today I am going to break a very old habit of doing PMO when i am alone , I don't have any memory that I was alone and I have not done PMO after my Puberty ... Let's see if i am able to get a good sleep today or not because I don't get sleep, if i don't do PMO or O ... @ClimbXR thank buddy ...
Day 2 - Yesterday night it was difficult to sleep with out PMO , I haven't taken my ipad or mobile to bed .. it has been soo many years that I was doing PMO before going sleep or i used to get sleep only after PMO ... It has taken around 2 hours to get sleep.. A new day started
Day 2 - It's about to end .. I had some strong urge to PMO today afternoon as i was home alone on weekend... but somehow i was able to control the urge .. I was reading a lot of thread on the forum from yesterday it self ... reading the journey shared by the community is helping me to be strong and not to do PMO... Success ...
Day 3- About to end .. I haven't thought it will be so difficult for me to live without PMO or MO... yesterday I somehow survived the day time part by reading the post on the community that keeps me going , I went to bed by 11 in night and I woke up at at 3 mid night with strong urge of PMO ... unbelievable .. my manhood was erect as rock and i was feeling i won't be able to sleep again until i do PMO and it was a mental struggle for me for 2 hours and then I slept back again at 5 in morning for one hour and started my daily routine from 6 the day went okay and busy ... 2nd temptation that my mind has given me while I was coming back from work is to go for erotic massage and happy ending ... the argument of my dirty mind was its not P and MO... it was very difficult 5 mins for me to trum myself back from the massage parlor and get back to home ... 3rd temptation while I was watching a music video and its kind of soft porn i got an erection and the urge of PMO arise with in my mind ... I survived that also ... I am feeling very tired and sleepy now as yesterday night i wasn't able to sleep properly due to urge of PMO ... Lets see how far i can go ... day 3 about to end
One day at the time. It will get easier after one week. Keep it up, you're doing great. Good that you see that massage parlors are really the same thing. You're hooked to dopamine through sexual stimulation in whatever form.
last week was very busy .. a lot of traps from dirty mind to PMO ... just keeping myself busy with the most important things of life and making sure that i am tired enough to got to sleep like dead in night .. so far so good ...
