Rebooting

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by Danric, Jan 16, 2020.

  1. Danric

    Danric New Member

    I'm on day 16 now, haven't fapped since 2019 and even though I've tried to quit pmo several times before, I really think this might be the last attempt. Let me explain why.

    The first 2 weeks were rough, really rough. On day 2 I started getting anxious and the withdrawal made me unable to think clearly. And the urge to seek out porn and fap was really strong for quite a long time after it had begun. I really struggled on day 10 and 11, and on those days even did look at explicit content without fapping. But I think it was on day 12 that something changed. The urge to look at porn was basically gone. I could think clearly again. I felt more confident, and felt more motivated to better myself.

    Two weeks feels like a short time, but I honestly don't feel compelled to seek out porn anymore. I expected it to be more difficult for a longer period of time. But I'm so happy to already feel better. I've never made it through the urge phase of the withdrawal before, and I don't feel like it'll be much trouble staying away from PMO.
     
    Last edited: Jan 22, 2020
  2. Gil79

    Gil79 Seize the day

    Hey Danric,

    promise me to stick to this board for a while and keep posting even if you would relapse. You're now in flatline and this is only the beginning. Flatline may take a week or it may take months, but the urges will come back and they will be stronger than ever. Please read the material provided by YBOP and this board. A really good starter is this: https://yourbrainrebalanced.com/for...ughts-on-rebooting-extremely-long-post.15558/

    I hope I am wrong and that this was it for you, but I am afraid I am right.

    Good luck!
     
  3. Danric

    Danric New Member

    I actually was planning not to come here too much, only because previously it has made me think of the porn part of quitting porn too much. But I'll check in from time to time to make updates.
    As the post you linked said, I need a goal with my life. And Since day 13 i've been very much focused on getting into game development and programming. So i do have something to focus my energy on.

    I'm not quite sure what this Flatline think you are talking about is, i haven't encountered it before. I tried to find information on it, but didn't find a lot. From what I can tell, I am indeed in a flatline. I do have quite low libido, and pretty low interest in women atm. But I don't feel bad in any way, the last few days i've actually felt better than i've felt in quite a long time.
    Not looking forward to urges coming back.
     
  4. Gil79

    Gil79 Seize the day

    I understand your reasons for not checking in too frequent. The reason I was saying this is that most guys start very enthusiastic, but then relapse and never come back. And that is too bad because this a great community and the interaction with others on this board is really useful, if not essential.

    I guess that flatline is such a subjective term that is different to everybody. But in general it is indeed a period of reduced libido. Some guys hate it and get depressed. I also enjoy these islands of peace. It can stop by itself or often by having a wet dream or sex. In the end clearly it is not the goal to stay in flatline the rest of our lives and beating this addiction also involves a transition towards a healthy sex life in which we decided for ourselves what is healthy.

    Well, anyway, I wish you good luck with this. Oh yeah, and welcome to the board :)
     
  5. Danric

    Danric New Member

    Ok, so an update at the end of the first month.
    Still haven't relapsed!
    Flatline seems to be over, my libido seems to be back to normal.
    Even after the flatline ended I really haven't had much trouble staying away from fapping (I have peeked a few times, which is not something I'm proud of).
    Motivation to do stuff is gone, I no longer feel as motivated to learn new things.
    Will try to do new things anyway.
    I'll have a lot more free time in february, which might not be a good thing. I've always had the most trouble staying away from pmo when I have a lot of free time.

    I think one thing that's different this time is that instead of getting really motivated to stop PMO, I just decided to get rid of it.
    I feel that this time I don't have to lean on my motivation to stay away, because when the motivation dips as it always does, I usually fail.
     
    Last edited: Jan 31, 2020
  6. Danric

    Danric New Member

    Getting cancer made it difficult for me.
    February was a good month, I relapsed but realized it didn't bring me back to where i was before, so i didn't relapse that hard.
    March has been rough, I was sent to the hospital due to cancer, and haven't been able to keep my record going since i've come home.
    But I think I'll try to quit completely again, as I still think the worst addiction hasn't set back in. It shouldn't be as hard as the first month.
    Trying to stay strong
     
  7. I'm sorry to hear about your poor health and setback. Sounds like you had a rough month. You can learn from this and move forward even stronger. Be kind to yourself and always put your health first. Relapses are learning experiences. You're a strong person for coming back here.
     

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