DAY 86 That mess didn't damaged things... i'm now at five days out of the flatline, let's see how much it last
Yesterday i had sex no problem. I still struggle sometimes with alternating between PE and DE. Should i ditch MO? Idk..
Tbh no ahah. I forgot about karezza, now i ejaculate normally. In this last year i was usually ejaculating from masturbation once every 4-5 days, recently i started being costant sexually active again so now let's see
Wow.... looks like i have started relapsing. No MO, just peeking but damn i don't like this. I was courius to see what kind of effect vanilla porn wuold have had on me, well i become very sensitive. Just a gif of missionary penetration is enough to pop an erection, but the second and third time i did it i was already less sensitive.. coolidge effect and need of novelty maybe?
Well anyway since today i decided to go 90 days. For me is not even about addicton itself but more about the fact that i want to "check". For example today i was upset to the fact that i needed novelty and wasn't anymore so sensitive that i peaked again... well that's not clever to do lol
In my opinion, erotica usually is better than porn, but there is a fine line between these two. Personally, I have to abstain from erotica as well as porn, cause these two are so linked in my mind, that consuming erotica leads to PM. I bet it is common thread between addicts. It seems like watching lingerie pics. Those are not "bad" itself, but such watching can lead to PMO.
7 days done. Fuck..90 will take a lot. I think i will use this journal even for others shit related to my life, maybe some of you guys will be able to give me some motivation. I'm tired I don't have a job I suffer from hard flaccid syndrome And i can't move my ass from the sofa, cuz i'm fucking depressed because of all the above I have a lot of shit to do for put my life togheter. Especially on the workouts departement. I want to do it everyday. Now it's pretty much more than 2 years that i'm in this hell. I have to fix my life and i have to do it alone Wuold you bet on me?
So 2 months in and a little peek today. I want to do 90 days without peeks. That's my goal. Good thing is that the peek was purely for pleasure and curiosity not some ocd bullshit
