Rebooting - I want to feel proud about myself

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by CleanHands, Jan 7, 2013.

  1. 252017

    252017 www.Legendary-Peace.com

    Re: We can't stop here, this is fap country!

    Smoke a bunch of weed and watch the Matrix... Just do it.
     
  2. TheUnderdog

    TheUnderdog Active Member Staff Member

    Re: We can't stop here, this is fap country!

    You don't really need meaning.

    I have no idea WTF is my purpose in life.

    What you need is lifestyle change. Break your routine. Hang out with people. Take trips with friends. Do regular exercise. Stop fapping. Ask women out.
     
  3. InsideOut

    InsideOut Guest

    Re: We can't stop here, this is fap country!

    So, Underdog proposes hedonism as the meaning. If there're no better ways, it's a way to go, I guess. Unless you haven't any desire to make yourself happy, which is THE problem.
     
  4. TheUnderdog

    TheUnderdog Active Member Staff Member

    Re: We can't stop here, this is fap country!

    Hedonism?

    I propose a lifestyle change, man.

    He needs to focus on finding a solution, instead of dwelling and ruminating.
     
  5. InsideOut

    InsideOut Guest

    Re: We can't stop here, this is fap country!

    I have no direction as well, so I'm interested in what is said to him :) Pushing nowhere out of sheer belief doesn't work.
     
  6. TheUnderdog

    TheUnderdog Active Member Staff Member

    Re: We can't stop here, this is fap country!

    What do you mean?

    I didn't know what the fuck to do, so I joined Portuguese, cooking, and yoga classes, so I could at least interact with people in the meantime.

    This led me to make new friends and get out of the house more.

    With time I started to feel better and less depressed. More willing to go out. Etc.

    Then I told a female friend that I wanted to learn how to dress better. She helped me with that and it was great. I started feeling better about myself.

    After a while I started gaining some momentum. Now I'm moving out of the house and starting a whole new life.

    Nobody really needs a meaning or a purpose in life in order to be happy. Such a burden to carry. You will miss on all the small things in life that will give you satisfaction.
     
  7. TheUnderdog

    TheUnderdog Active Member Staff Member

    Re: We can't stop here, this is fap country!

    Haha, I used to think like that.

    What's the point of small chat? Why go out to dinner with friends? What's the meaning of just plain hanging out? Why hang out with women that I don't plan on hooking up with?

    You think that's YOU, but it's just a mindset. There's no such thing as you as an entity. The way we used to think 10 years ago is very different to the way we think now, and the way we will think in the future will be very different as well.

    You want spiritual? What more spiritual than enjoying the now? What more spiritual than finding joy in small things in life? What more spiritual than spending time with friends without worrying about anything else?

    I'm saving you a lot of years of procrastination and inactivity, man. I'm almost 28 years old and I used to be deep into self improvement and all that. I wasted years waiting for things to happen. I wasted years trying to find my purpose or meaning in life.

    It makes me sad to read your posts because I've been there and I don't want you to waste the next years thinking like that.

    Start living life and the purpose will find you.

    Opportunities will arise.

    Doors will open.
     
  8. 252017

    252017 www.Legendary-Peace.com

    Re: We can't stop here, this is fap country!

    Good stuff Underdog, I couldn't agree more. The mind is a powerful machine, the more you feed it certain thought process, the more it accepts them. If this process of feeding your brain a certain thought continues it will inevitably get to a point where that thought doesn't need "thinking" any more, it just happens. The thought becomes part of your unconscious. Whether we like it or not, that is how our brain works and in my opinion I think it is empowering. We have the ability to build ourselves, all it takes it awareness. What do you have to be aware about? Your thoughts of course. Observe your thoughts and when you catch one you don't like, ask your self a few questions. Is this physical or emotional? Does this matter right now? Can I make this thought more positive? You get the idea...

    As for the Matrix, you said it yourself, "in the end its pointless". You can get all the pussy in the world, or no pussy in the world, in the end we all die and pussy never mattered anyways. The counter argument to that is of course, "well I want to live life to the fullest". To that I say you selfish piece of shit, humanity won't survive for two hundred more years if we maintain that mindset.

    I was talking to a friend the other day and he told me something that I don't think he even knew the implications behind it. What he told me was that do what you do and the people and "life" will come... Very similar to what underdog said with start living life. For an example I am in Barcelona studying abroad. The students I am with do one thing and really one thing only. Party. That doesn't work for me, I find it stupid and not even all that fun. Its gross. I am reading, writing, volunteering, lucid dreaming, and exploring. If people want to cross my path, so be it, if I am alone... so be it.

    I don't know man from the looks of it you "get it" in the sense that when you look at a girl stripping on Television it makes you cringe a bit. Sign of a man in my book. Change a thought process, don't take them all on at once. How about your stammer for instance, trust me, I know about this and I know how fucking hard it is to get the courage to talk. When you catch the thought though, why does it have to linger? Dismiss it immediately. Don't force yourself to take action, because that builds unneeded anxiety. Rather be positive about your ability to catch your thought before it took you down the spiraling road of "oh fuck im nervous".
     
  9. TheUnderdog

    TheUnderdog Active Member Staff Member

    Re: We can't stop here, this is fap country!

    Walk on with hope in your heart, and you'll never walk alone ;)
     
  10. ModusVivendi

    ModusVivendi New Member

    Re: We can't stop here, this is fap country!

    CleanHands, I don't understand. Something as life changing as your stammering clearing up takes like 60 days to do, and you choose not to.....

    That makes no sense to me bro. I think you're just scared of being happy.

    You're so afraid of change, that even though it's for the good, that you'd rather sit complacently and wank off. That's pathetic dude, I know you're better than that. Are you a fucking man or a little girl?!?!?!?!?!?! Come on...
     
  11. ModusVivendi

    ModusVivendi New Member

    Re: We can't stop here, this is fap country!

    I feel like all your journals have been is a cycle of 3 things:
    I really suck, I need to quit--> I'm gonna do it!!--> Relapsed. God I hate myself

    We haven't really gone anywhere with you since you started (going from hardcore to lingerie doens't mean much, and it's showed in your lack of benefits), and it's pretty sad just seeing others give you their time and energy for the last 8 months and seeing you take it in and do nothing with it. You're not really trying...you're merely trying to try.

    I think of you as a little brother cleanhands (I've told others on the forum here this), so it's sad seeing hopelessness continue on like this when it's all in your hands. It's like when I was an Orlando Magic fan back in the day (NBA): one season we had the single worst season in the history of the NBA. I took it in for 30,40,50 games... but eventually enough was enough. Seeing someone hopeless can be a good thing because you know you can change them if you give your energy toward it, but it's only good because we can see a light coming soon.
     
  12. InsideOut

    InsideOut Guest

    Re: We can't stop here, this is fap country!

    It is all good when you have a drive to live a better life and enjoy things. If you haven't, you will just conserve energy (i.e. veg in the bed) since "small things" won't have any value for you. That's what I want to know, what differentiate these two situations.

    Lolwut. From my point of view, living to the fullest absolutely should include doing something worthwhile. And I don't speak of going to Africa and helping the poor and stuff like that, it's a cliche which is used as an excuse to do nothing.. Doing something that makes other people curious, or making them happy in any mean and in any degree is a big thing too, and I consider it worthwhile as well.

    From many likewise discussions it seems like this approach is the only realistic way to go... You only do something and hope that it all will ultimately arrange. And at first stages you will have to float in the void, forcing yourself into the world.

    This. How one can deal with it?
     
  13. 252017

    252017 www.Legendary-Peace.com

    Re: We can't stop here, this is fap country!

    I struggle with the same thing and I think we all struggle with it, the need to be like everyone else. Humans are social beings, when we see the mass of our culture engage in partying, sex, and drugs, we feel as though we are missing out on some "experience". **There is no spoon**, that way of thinking is just our mind playing a (never ending for me at least) trick on us. Everything is inside our head.

    In my opinion here is what I think you should do. As Modus pointed out, you have been on this forum for a while now and still have yet to make much progress on the no PMO and no MO front. Four days is good, 8 days is where changes start to "kick in" (for me). What are you doing? If you are constantly jacking off and think it might be a root problem... why the fuck are you still jacking off? Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Change this ONE thing. Focus your day around this ONE thing. As I said in one of my previous posts, the brain is receptive to repetition. I am afraid to tell you, your brain is no different, you have just been weak minded. Are you a weak minded person? Why would you ever want to be a weak minded person? Imagine telling that to someone, " Hi I am cleanhands, and I am weak minded!" Fuck that. Just like not subscribing to aweing at "fake" naked woman, cutting MO from your life is something you will be proud about. This however, stopping MO, carries a lot more pride than just not looking at girls. You can feel in yourself and especially when in social contact with males and females. With females, all the sudden you are straight fucking primal, you enter a room and your mind thinks one thing, "Where the bitches at? And how can I get close to them?" I assume thats a little different than your current way of thinking? hmmm? As for the male social interactions its a competition, who can walk with the most pride, who talks with the most confidence, who holds the most eye contact, who shy´s away, etc...

    What you must understand and what I am coming to understand is that this change does not happen overnight. Your brain needs to be in this mindset of no MO for a enlongated period of time so the way of thinking I described above is repeated, over and over again. This is the best part, that way of thinking is natural, it is in all of us because it is human nature. It will present itself if you let it.... As Morpheous said, " I can only show you the door, you have to walk through it"

    You know what you have to do to at least start in the right direction... It is completely up to you to decide whether you want to continue to fuck around or change your life. Yes change your life, if you change your way of thinking, by defintion it will change your life.

    Sorry for the typos and bad grammar of my posts, fuck proofreading, just roll with it.
     
  14. Laurynas

    Laurynas 300 Days+ Experienced.

    Re: We can't stop here, this is fap country!

    IMO purpose of live is rather simple..

    The "ALMIGHTY" purpose of life - ENJOY YOUR LIFE.

    And to enjoy your life you just simply have to look for what you enjoy the most, what gives you the most satisfaction, try out new stuff, cooking, dancing, flirting, electronics, driving or whatsoever.

    I'm enjoying my life a lot and still I haven't found that magic puzzle piece, but heck, I'm even eager to go 16000 km to look for it whilst enjoying the trip itself!

    Spiritual path? Well.. Meditate, a lot.. You can look up for vipassana meditation, it's international and does 10 day meditation camps, I'll probably try one out in a matter of time.

    They say that you can come up with so many realizations of what you want in your life whilst doing it..

    Search, try, enjoy, repeat.
     
  15. sak1234

    sak1234 Member

    Re: We can't stop here, this is fap country!

    Underdog, I totally agree on not comtemplating and just flat out jumping into things. For me, the more I think about a certain subject, idea, the higher the chance that I will end up not doing it. Actions --> Changes, period. Before I moved away from my home state to New York City, I didn't think about the hardships I would go through as much as I should have. I thought about my friends who live here and the exciting prospects of the new city along with the job I had. If I think back about how stressful and tough that move was and if I were to do it again, I don't know if I would because it was such a daunting experience. I'm glad I was impulsive and made that move. If I were to think about which city is better for me, my ideals, and my personal growth, I may have thought otherwise and gone in a different direction. BTW, how were those cooking classes? I need to learn how to cook better.

    Cleanhands, I think it is a matter of finding the right friends. Socially, there are all kinds of types of people that you'll meet whether they are the party type, intellectuals who like to go to classier places and actually hear other people talk, people with childlike personalities that you can have fun with all the time regardless of mood or place, etc. Personally, I like spending time with all of kinds of people, but if you like to have deep conversations and meaningful relationships, those people are out there, but it takes putting yourself out there and meeting other people who you may not get along with along the way.

    I like what Laurynas said below. Find something that you really enjoy doing. Keep doing it and eventually you'll meet people who are just like you in terms of likes, dislikes, etc. Life is just a long trial and error experiment. Don't be afraid to find something/someone you really enjoy.
     
  16. TheUnderdog

    TheUnderdog Active Member Staff Member

    Re: We can't stop here, this is fap country!

    "Find something you really enjoy doing."

    Again, I wasted years trying to figure that out, as nothing really excited me.

    People would say to me "But what do you enjoy? What is your passion? What hobbies do you like?" and I would answer with "I don't know... I like swimming I guess..."

    You just have to try new things. I got into Portuguese, cooking, dancing, and yoga, without knowing what the fuck I was getting into.

    Less thinking, more action.
     
  17. InsideOut

    InsideOut Guest

  18. InsideOut

    InsideOut Guest

    Re: We can't stop here, this is fap country!

    Lol, never had any opinion on how Russian sounds for foreign ears :) And these videos are made very professionally, as well as texts are very perfected. Just found that they are supplied with subtitles, so I strongly recommend to watch all of them.
     
  19. Pedigree

    Pedigree Active Member

    Re: We can't stop here, this is fap country!

    Hands, I've just been silently agreeing as everyone's giving their pep talk but let me give you my two cents.

    1. To me, it's not the fact that you're relapsing a lot that bothers me, it's the first sign of trouble. Having 2-4 day runs before relapsing indicates to me that you're relying on the proverbial path in front of you to be smooth to get a good run rather than being ready to face the challenges and then giving in when you get a craving. I would know because every 2-4 days, I'd get cravings as well.
    My question is this: What can you do to make sure that you don't give in at the first sign of a craving?

    2. As far as life advice goes, take in whatever TheUnderdog or Laurynas or Modus or MindoverMatter is saying. The only thing I can add to it is this: take small steps. Sometimes when you get a pep talk from people, you can get into a mindset of "I want to change and it has to happen NOW". Of course, you'll only get overwhelmed and it makes it easy for you to give up. So take small steps but just be sure to take them.
     
  20. tsmith1302

    tsmith1302 Active Member

    Re: We can't stop here, this is fap country!

    Two very important and well articulated points brought up Pedigree. I agree with everything he said.

    Re: your counter, kudos to you for resetting even though it was just "pixels" and not actual porn. You could have cheated and not called it porn, but most of us agree any visual stimulation should be counted.

    I was getting cute for a while myself, peeking at porn for extended periods of time, then masturbating later on in the day. So even though it wasn't necessarily PMOing, it felt like I was taking the easy way out. I reset my counter and am starting fresh as well.

    Good luck!!!!!
     

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