Rebooting - I want to feel proud about myself

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by CleanHands, Jan 7, 2013.

  1. Pedigree

    Pedigree Active Member

    Re: We can't stop here, this is fap country!

    Shit, Hands, you definitely need to get some help.
     
  2. CidGuerreiro

    CidGuerreiro Well-Known Member

    Re: We can't stop here, this is fap country!

    I used to tell myself that I couldn't delete Facebook because I need it to stay in touch with my friends. That's fucking bullshit.

    You didn't needed Facebook before it was invented and you don't need it now. No ones does. Also, face it: most of the times you log on Wastebook you just browse random pages and Likes things. That's what everyone does. When was the last time a visit to your Facebook profile actually resulted into something meaningful? Did that ever happened at all?

    Life demands you to take priorities. You can either keep Facebook and allow it to drag you down everytime Random Hot Girl posts a sexy selfshot in front of the mirror, or you can just get rid of it and cut that from the list of things to worry about.

    First days I was like "omg, I need to check my account". Noaways I don't really care about Facebook and can actually see what an enormous waste of (life)time it is.
     
  3. TheUnderdog

    TheUnderdog Active Member Staff Member

    Re: We can't stop here, this is fap country!

    You're wrong.

    That's like saying "You didn't need a cell phone before and you don't need one now".

    Facebook, if used properly, is a great tool for communication.

    Just delete all the friends that you don't hang out with. I have less than 100 friends in mine. I use it only about 30 minutes per day.
     
  4. CidGuerreiro

    CidGuerreiro Well-Known Member

    Re: We can't stop here, this is fap country!

    Facebook might have a proper use but no one ever "need" it, just as you don't "need" a celphone.

    I still have my Facebook account, but I can only access it through my mother's computer, and I only do so about once a week and only when there is someone (a specific person, not "my friends") I need/want to talk to.

    If Facebook is triggering him and leading him to relapses (whether it's because girls post hot things or simply because it leads to mindless browising, which was my case) then he simply cannot have it.

    Again, life is about priorities. When you cannot conciliate two things, you gotta cut one off.
     
  5. ModusVivendi

    ModusVivendi New Member

    Re: We can't stop here, this is fap country!

    I agree with Underdog. If Facebook is causing him to relapse, then he needs better self-control, it's as simple as that. "Triggers" are everywhere. If he was watching a show, movie, browsing = trigger. If we want to use the "he should stop wasting his time online and with movies/shows " argument then... If he went out, he'd see a really nice rack or a beautiful ass .... trigger.

    His real reboot will begin when he WANTS it to, when he wants to build some self control. He doesn't want it enough right now.
     
  6. CrazyGopher

    CrazyGopher Member

    Re: We can't stop here, this is fap country!

    Glad you're back ;D
     
  7. CidGuerreiro

    CidGuerreiro Well-Known Member

    Re: We can't stop here, this is fap country!

    You're implying that he is in condition of avoiding the effects of triggers out of sheer willpower, which doesn't seem to be the case. As you might remember, I once shut down my entire internet access so I could crawl out of the ridiculously hard days that follow a PMO binge. Wouldn't have reached my current streak without it. Not to mention that everyone nowadays show do something to reduce their internet usage. It's a waste of time, mostly.
     
  8. CidGuerreiro

    CidGuerreiro Well-Known Member

    Re: We can't stop here, this is fap country!

    I was living a similar situation now long ago.

    Since I relapses after what was my best streak until then (22 days) it became ridiculously hard to resist the cravings. My life became a shitstorm of relapsing and getting back at it, but I'd only hit about 4 days and then relapse. Sometimes 7 days, but at the time my best streak was 11 days, with a lot of MO to suppres porn cravings (which turned out ot be a terrible idea).

    From there I decided to cut almost all web access on my computer. I can only view some harmless websites. No Google, no Youtube, no Facebook. I needed it to deconstruct the habit of "testing" the filter with search tools to get dopamine spikes.

    Anyway, the blockers only won't keep you away from porn, but it can be an immense help if you do it the right away. I'd also advise you to cut off MO. From my experience, it's a quick fix, but in the long run it will lead you to a full PMO relapse.

    You should also aim to fix whatever it is that keeps triggering anxiety and the unbearable cravings. Boredom, for instance. Do not allow yourself to be bored, ever.
     
  9. ModusVivendi

    ModusVivendi New Member

    Re: We can't stop here, this is fap country!

    THIS!
     
  10. Laurynas

    Laurynas 300 Days+ Experienced.

    Re: We can't stop here, this is fap country!

    Go watch a movie, for example "The secret".
     
  11. Oilers92

    Oilers92 Guest

    Re: We can't stop here, this is fap country!

    @CleanHands keep strong bro. You have made some good progress already! Keep busy as much as you can!
     
  12. J.P.

    J.P. Active Member

    Re: We can't stop here, this is fap country!

    I think a reboot should be broken into 2 parts

    1. When still in the beginning (No, rebooting for a year and relapsing habitually still means you're at the "beginning" still, you're brain is at square one), you need to stay away from triggers/temptations, all that shit. Why? Because your monkey brain is strong, a reflex, it is in control, you simply won't have the will to stop yourself. So what do you do? Desensitize. How? You simply don't have a strong enough frontal cortex to overpower the monkey brain and you are doomed, you need to be forced into not watching. So I think cutting out anything and everything giving you access is best.

    2. When you are desensitized enough that you can start working on willpower, get rid of the filters, the dopamine rushes you get every once in a while are now beatable, so this is the time to train your brain. If you do relapse keep it to a minimum. That way, going forward you won't lose much progress on training yourself away from porn. Eventually you'll get to a point where you won't really think of it anymore.

    (I beat opiates by simply forcing self-removal and now I am fine, it is a perfectly legitimate strategy).
     
  13. J.P.

    J.P. Active Member

    Re: We can't stop here, this is fap country!

    For this particular addiction? I would say stage one should end after about a month. The reason I didn't do this approach when I started here? (I kept my smartphone the whole time) is because I both underestimated the addiction, and I was already familiar with the process so I was ready to go through a struggle, which ends with me winning anyways.

    But yeah, so about a month of straight up lock-out, when you're just starting to break an addiction as strong as this, your brain isn't in a clear, strong state. What makes someone think cold turkey willpower from the get-go applies to everyone universally? That's just narrow-minded. In my opinion, this type of addiction is hard-wired specifically for men anyway, think about it; we are programmed biologically to want women/sex, so it is already enough this is an addiction that can even hook women, but it is also hard-wired in us to think of these things as it is? Shit, everyone should consider that, it just proves this stuff is NOT easy.
     
  14. CidGuerreiro

    CidGuerreiro Well-Known Member

    Re: We can't stop here, this is fap country!

    I'd say I'm currently at an intermediate stage of Jp91's division of a reboot.

    Anyway, blockers will keep you safe from triggers, but that's it. Unless you throw the password away and doesn't have another computer at home, do not rely solely on it. All the other stuff (keeping yourself busy, etc) are still very important.

    Stay strong.
     
  15. Laurynas

    Laurynas 300 Days+ Experienced.

    Re: We can't stop here, this is fap country!

    We'll see if you talk or do. :)
     
  16. ModusVivendi

    ModusVivendi New Member

    Re: We can't stop here, this is fap country!

    I don't understand the whole pw thing... can't one simply go on control panel and delete the program to bypass it??
     
  17. Chammorrow

    Chammorrow Member

    Re: We can't stop here, this is fap country!

    Wow. I can't even start to understand that feeling of hopelessness.
    Iv'e had my days, where I thought my actions were insignificant but it was more of a observance than an actual belief.

    Living without dreams and aspirations is the same as being dead. Living without significant interactions is the same as been dead.

    Clean, do you think that if you didn't have your stammer..if you spoke perfectly then your situation will be different?

    Is the problem really external, when it's a internal battle?

    Do you have a support system, like a good family that can keep you grounded?

    I agree with the consensus, something needs to change. You need a new outlook, a new perspective..and not a temporary one but a permanent change in the way you see your life. That's only the way I see real change coming Clean. Good luck buddy.
     
  18. CidGuerreiro

    CidGuerreiro Well-Known Member

    Re: We can't stop here, this is fap country!

    You need the password to unninstall it. If you throw away the passwortd the only way to bypass it is reinstalling your entire OS.
     
  19. InsideOut

    InsideOut Guest

    Re: We can't stop here, this is fap country!

    You can just boot into safe mode (or even into entire guest OS) and delete the program's files.
     
  20. ModusVivendi

    ModusVivendi New Member

    Re: We can't stop here, this is fap country!

    My man CleanHands... living up to his name!
     

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