Rebooting - I want to feel proud about myself

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by CleanHands, Jan 7, 2013.

  1. GE87

    GE87 Guest

    Hi guys,

    I'm afraid your new paradigm, CleanHands, is just a product of your addicted brain (no offense, though). It's not a bad modell per se but I see the danger that CidGuerreiro mentioned, too. The problem with this approach is that you're giving yourself a inherent permission to PMO.

    I said it before and I say it again: one week, one fucking week, Clean. Maybe even a "no-P-week". It's not hard but relatively easy. Start N-O-W with me and you'll see.

    BTW: we can still write PMs about stuttering if you want.

    Wish you the best, my friend :)
     
  2. TheUnderdog

    TheUnderdog Active Member Staff Member

    I disagree 100%.

    A counter that says: I have masturbated to porn 4 times in the last 91 days is much more encouraging than a counter that says 5 days since I last PMO'd. Plus it gives much more information about the rebooter's current situation, unlike the regular counter.

    People can always use both counters, or none, or whatever.

    It's up to each person how they use them.
     
  3. GE87

    GE87 Guest

    ... mh, I see your point, TheUnderdog.

    But there's no way to hide behind counters, after all. This new counter may be more encouraging but if it says sth. like "I have masturbated to porn 45 times in the last 91 days" or even "I have masturbated to porn 100 times in the last 91 days" it's not that encouraging anymore (imo).

    Granted there's no allocation of the events, so a counter saying "I have masturbated to porn 45 times in the last 91 days" , doesn't say anything if it was one relapse every second day, 45 PMOs in one month and the rest sober etc. etc.
    But what still bothers me a bit is the inherent permission to PMO in this approach. But that's just my personal view and perception. Others may see it differently.

    But after all you're right - it's totally up to the individual and the most important thing is the determination to stay PMO-free and to make progress, no matter the counter-strategy.

    Wish you all the best for the evening, guys :)
     
  4. Chammorrow

    Chammorrow Member

    It's up to the person to decide whether they want to quantify their progress, or qualify it. People like me need to a counter to keep track of consecutive days of abstaining, which I believe to be an objective way to reboot but maybe others need something like underdog is suggesting which is more of a feel good that you aren't worst off. But feeling good is a good start at becoming less reliant on porn and the such..
     
  5. CleanHands

    CleanHands Guest

    Haha, great minds think alike! I CyberGopher could do that then I think it'd be swell :) I mean, some people might prefer this approach and others the good old counter. They're not even mutually exclusive but could perhaps be combined into one counter.
     
  6. CidGuerreiro

    CidGuerreiro Well-Known Member

    As always, you choose to ignore my point of view. It's ok. But I have to insist that your current situation has nothing to do with your counter, and that no alternative way to quantify your progress is gonna make any difference as long as you keep a half-assed reboot and mindset.

    I prefer to speak the harsh truth than to cover it with sugar and jellybeans.
     
  7. CleanHands

    CleanHands Guest

    Lol I was just writing my other reply ;)
     
  8. Pedigree

    Pedigree Active Member

    2-3 sessions per week, holy shit, man. That's too much. Make that a session every 2 to 3 weeks, that's what I did with my life coach. A session every 2-3 weeks but the key part is the things you do between the sessions. I always make it a rule that by the time of the next session, I come prepared with insights and realizations of things from my past that have done damage to me. I talk it over with the life coach, he gives me some suggestions and I implement it whilst coming up with more insights for the next meeting.
     
  9. tsmith1302

    tsmith1302 Active Member

    A week no PMO, NO peeking, no cheating! It's on Hands.

    If I peek I will reset my counter.
     
  10. tsmith1302

    tsmith1302 Active Member

    I can relate to your post hands. I've been mostly feeling depressed, lonely and lethargic the past few months too.
     
  11. CidGuerreiro

    CidGuerreiro Well-Known Member

    I give up as soon as things don't go super easy

    Quick gratification mindset right here. If don't give you instant, significant pleasure, it's not worth doing. This is likely a symptom of your addiction.
     
  12. tsmith1302

    tsmith1302 Active Member

    I absolutely disagree that it's a symptom of the addiction. I think it's an in-born personality trait, and perhaps a symptom of low self-esteem.

    When I was a kid, I quit so many damn things because I was frustrated by the learning curve. Piano lessons, baseball, etc. Hell I seriously don't even know how to swim as an adult for that reason.

    It's just the way I am. I hate not being good at something so I give up easily. I've been doing it long, long before Internet porn.
     
  13. CidGuerreiro

    CidGuerreiro Well-Known Member

    While I agree that this is also a natural characteristic, it's undeniable that PMO addiction wires you to understand sexual pleasure as something easily achievable, something you can just go there and get. Add this to the natural characteristic and there, you won't move your ass for anything harder than finding the remote control.
     
  14. Eternity

    Eternity Patience

    Buying a camera is a much better idea than the PC, I think. You're a lot like I used to be, having all these plans but never executing them. Looking back I see it as a journey to discover what I really want to do. Well, I don't recommend buying a super expensive camera in case you find out that you don't like it. While you could sell it easily, it may be better to start with something simple.
     
  15. ModusVivendi

    ModusVivendi New Member

    Oh man, I can completely relate. I completely forgot that feeling during my heavy pmo days, but I refound it last semester with this 1 chick. She was so innocent, beautiful, kind, well-mannered, and fairly shy. I just wanted to lay my head on her shoulder and stare at her beautiful face.

    I think you'll really like this song my man Hands

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FXmGw7LdOGA
     
  16. ModusVivendi

    ModusVivendi New Member

    It's solid. I checked out the last Heidevolk song you posted too, haha. It's folk metal like that which I enjoy, rather than Turisas and what have you.

    That's good that you would've asked her out. You know that a chick liek that will appear again,you just have to get yourself out there to find one. Get yourself into situations where chicks like her would be.

    With me and that girl though, I asked her for her number one day after class, and she told me "oh, sorry I have a bf... but if I didn't I would go out with you" lol, so that was that. I just talked to her occassionally in class after that, but that was it.
     
  17. gameover

    gameover Age: 26

    Your dreams are of a girl, a real girl. Not porn, This is a good thing and great progress.
     
  18. Eternity

    Eternity Patience

    Perhaps a camera from Nikon's D3000 series would suit you well, which cost around 300-350. It's still a system camera, so you can get different lenses to play around with (although they're quite expensive), and if you desire a more powerful camera, you can simply change the camera base which is cheaper than buying one with a lens included.

    On the topic of Falkenbach:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mA5nN65B_eg

    From his latest vinyl, and also from the upcoming album Åsa. I consider it to be one of the most beautiful songs I've ever heard! If the entire album goes in a similar style, I'm going to be in heav... Valhalla. :)
     
  19. furor germanicus

    furor germanicus New Member

    And I'm going to dance with Odin himself to that song! :D
     
  20. CidGuerreiro

    CidGuerreiro Well-Known Member

    This, 100% this. There is a thin line between figuring yourself out your through a journal and plain mental masturbation.
     

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