Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by CleanHands, Jan 7, 2013.
Bored but I won't give in!
There are two things that have helped me greatly.
1) Commit to stop using porn as a solution for depression and anxiety. This is key. Don't think about never using porn again, just commit to face your sadness and anxiety when it comes.
2) Bear in mind at all times that the more you protelate, the longer you'll be stuck into the cycle of relapsing, getting back at it, relapsing, getting back... and so on until you DIE. Remember that today is as good as any day to start. It won't be easier tomorrow, so there's no reason to leave it for later.
Me too. Let's both shut down our computers and leave them off for the rest of the day?
I'm gonna go for a walk. No point in spending idle time online.
What happened this time? :'(
Did it start with a peek?
If it did, install a porn blocker, now.
At least use the "hosts file" method or DNS Angel. They won't slow down your PC.
I think this is the only way out for you and me. We can't take this lightly, we've been supposedly rebooting since april last year and it's time to make some effort and get what we deserve.
Sometimes, when I'm in a good streak, I actually crave the moments when I start feeling empty, just to see if I can finally deal with them, but 95% of the times I end up failing. Right now I'm so isolated that even feeling depressed and facing it for months would be better than just being in the limbo that I'm currently in and nothing happens. The only thing that silently occurs is that my life continues to go downhill while I'm on this state where I avoid everything. Don't know if you can relate to this.
I just wrote it over in Cocoon's journal: it gets ridiculous with us guys. I'm refering to myself (first and foremost !), you and Cocoon. I mean serious: we had times when we made it to 20+, 30+ or even 40+ days (almost) effortlessly and now we can't even seem to get beyond the one-week-mark ?! C'mon, that can't be true, can it ?
We know we can cause we already did it. At least we made it much further than the last couple of days and weeks.
I know that it may sound stupid but the next good streak will surely come. Above all, Clean: don't ever give up and keep fighting the good fight. One thing that helped me at least a bit was to avoid binging for days and weeks on all costs, try to be "satisfied" with let's say a two hour session of PMO, instead of an eight hour session, try to get off without visual stimulation ... bottom line: if you realize yourself relapsing quite badly try to at least minimize the damaging effects as best as you can.
Wish you all the best, my friend. Maybe we can PM about stuttering and stuff again ?
So, really what's happening here is you're jerking off to porn because you want to jerk off to porn.
Hands - if that's your mentality then nobody here can help you. You either want this or you don't.
Go a week without porn. Starting now. Anything less is unacceptable.
Tsmith kinda of nailed it....if you are bypassing all those filters..then it's not really urges that are making relapse but just you wanting to indulge and escape or whatever the reason is that you intake
Is this what the rest of my life will be like? Social anxiety, self-loathing, depression, stress, irrational fears and a porn and masturbation addiction?
Yes. Unless you do something about it. Otherwise, that's how it'll be.
There is a way out. You've done well in the past and I don't see any reason why you couldn't again. You even have that valuable experience with a girl which some of us, including me, lacks and have a hard time getting.
And I don't know, but the problems you describe regarding your studies seem like classic PMO symptoms. I too had a very hard time reading books (not even using audiobooks helped, my mind kept wandering), but I liked the courses.
Clean hands, all I said was a go a week without porn. Meaning you can masturbate to your heart's content.
I don't care what anybody says, it's not that hard to go a week without masturbating to internet porn. Stop feeling stressed and overwhelmed and acting like a victim. Just go go a week without porn. Not a year, not 90 days... a week. It's easy. You can do it.
Your problem is that you can't decide whether you want to do this or not. It's this contradiction that is making you suffer.
So you have to decide whether you want to PMO at your own leisure, or if you want to reboot. You can't have both.
And I reinforce my statement: you have deep underlying issues. You need professional help. You'd need it even if you weren't addicted to anything.
Stay strong! Keep at it!
I've seen some members use that method and it seems like a good way of measuring one's progress. I think counters have gained too much attention and, while mine helps me get through the initial stage, it also put a lot of pressure on me. I remember losing track of days before and then I was actually able to see the whole picture rather than thinking "I must reach X days before I can do this".
You MOTHER FUCKER you!!!!
Have you been reading my mind????
I was going to contact CyberGopher.
This is what I had in mind, a new counter that says:
I have masturbated to porn X times in the last X days.
How about that?
Let's play: Who Can Spot The Typo?
I will not fix it to see if anyone else spots it.
Ehh, IMO that would be too easy. You'll probably think of something among the lines of "I can PMO 31 times this month if I PMO only 30 times next month! I'm making progress! WOOT!".
Nothing will ever beat abstinence when it comes to recovering from an addiction. Alcoholics don't recover by drinking less and less, nor do smokers or any drug addicts. It has been said over and over again that PMO is just like any other addicion when it comes to "how it works on your brain", so there's no reason to believe a different approach would be more suitable. It also doesn't change anything regarding your psychological issues and obvious need of professional help. The problem is you, not whatever method you decide to choose to face this. Eventually you'll find a reason to why this method doesn't work as well.
Remove the counter if you feel like it's setting you down. People were beating addicions way before CyberGopher made a PMO counter.
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