Rebooting - I want to feel proud about myself

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by CleanHands, Jan 7, 2013.

  1. J.P.

    J.P. Active Member

    Yeah peeking is really really bad. But in all honesty, if it is less than a couple seconds it isn't terrible.

    I think the key there is NOT to flip. We all need to get our heads out of our asses and look at the big picture, we all have a super-unrealistic sense of this shit.

    We treat it like the plague, and you're goddamn right it is horrible shit, but we can't beat ourselves up over it. The key is to move on, act like nothing happened, and the next day you're back to normal, provided you've been on a long run.

    But CH, you have been habitually using the past few weeks now. Peeking for you WILL cause relapse, whereas with others on long streaks, it is easier to control, the pathways are really weakened.

    But rest assured, you play with fire, you're gonna get burned. You need to just chill out, calm down, and find enjoyment in something else.

    If you have the time to PMO, but not the time to Skype with me, or play SC/watch a stream with me, that is pretty fucked up. You come first above all things, and your friends come before your urges.

    Not to mention it'll help you be distracted :)
     
  2. The fog during a prolonged binge can really be psychologically draining, but you have to get through it. Set yourself small goals and by getting them done you'll feel better.
     
  3. Don't back out, therapy can be really good, because you can express your thoughts, emotions, worries and get unconditional support. I'm seeing a psychologist twice a week and it's going better than when I tried to do it all alone.
     
  4. J.P.

    J.P. Active Member

    This is excellent, spot on advice.
     
  5. Pedigree

    Pedigree Active Member

    Keep us posted on how you're doing with the therapist, mate.
     
  6. CidGuerreiro

    CidGuerreiro Well-Known Member

    Dude... the fact that you can't seek help is the ultimate proof that you need help.

    I'm seeing both a psychologist and a psychiatrist, taking antidepressants and not feeling any less of a man. No reason why it should be any different for you.
     
  7. Chammorrow

    Chammorrow Member

    Relax, and gather yourself.
     
  8. tsmith1302

    tsmith1302 Active Member

    Seek therapy, just to have somebody to talk to. It really, really helps.

    Don't go there just to get on meds. From my own experience, meds are bullshit. Therapy is not.
     
  9. Pedigree

    Pedigree Active Member

    You need to do this, man. It's time to start looking at what's at the root of the problem because I know that this problem, not porn is why you're here. It's not going to be pretty and it's going to be rough, but it'a the best thing you can do.
     
  10. I think my psychologist told me the exact same thing!
     
  11. Daimon

    Daimon Member

    I can understand that fear. Also...as meds tend to deaden sexual desire, I can understand not wanting to resort to having to use them.

    However, when one does not have sexual desire due to said meds, it honestly feels like one has reverted back to his childhood. Everything tends to seem clearer when one is able to look at the world without a sexual lens. Now am I saying you should get some meds? No. It would perhaps be better if you're able to stick with no PMO, but they could potentially help (for a while...it would be best to NOT use them, in my personal opinion as I have if you couldn't tell from this post used meds in the past).
     
  12. ModusVivendi

    ModusVivendi New Member

     
  13. Pedigree

    Pedigree Active Member

    If everyone stayed in that post-orgasm phase, everyone would be rebooted. I have that though it's mostly with MO rather than PMO these days.
     
  14. tsmith1302

    tsmith1302 Active Member

    Are you just MOing now or still PMO'ing?

    The two counter approach has worked for me and a lot of others.
     
  15. Chammorrow

    Chammorrow Member

    I find that maybe talking to family members who know and love you may have better effects than talking to random psychiatrist who's went to school for the purpose of dissecting you mentally and making sure that you come back for another session, maybe it was for the best that you didn't walk into that building.
     
  16. CidGuerreiro

    CidGuerreiro Well-Known Member

    You should also reconsider therapy. There is no shame in asking for help. It's a sign of a greatness, not weakness.
     
  17. Pedigree

    Pedigree Active Member

    Yeah, I think you should put this back on the agenda, Hands.
     
  18. GE87

    GE87 Guest

    ... it's as I said over in my journal, Clean. We're both the most chronic relapsers here in the forum and I'm not proud of it. You'd be hard pressed to find another guy here, who is more hooked on P than me and I'm not happy to say that either :(

    But on the other hand ... we're still here and we're still fighting. Can't be so bad after all then ...
    Remember, you'd only "loose it", if you didn't care about rebooting anymore. But now you're packed with knowledge and quite a lot of sober days in the past. There's simply no way of going back to PMO everyday mindless, because we know the truth now.
    From the day on where you realized that there's a massive problem and made the commitment to change you're on the road to success. :)

    You'd asked me about christian podcasts, lately. I could offer some but they're in german. But I'll look up some english ones for you.

    May the Lord will give you some new strength and courage for a new attempt, my friend :)
     
  19. CidGuerreiro

    CidGuerreiro Well-Known Member

    CleanHands:

    Allow me to say this and don't take it the wrong way but you sir, have issues.

    Seriosuly man, it's just not right for someone who's been here for as long as you have to be struggling this bad. It's not!

    There is obviously something holding you back, something that will keep you down for the rest of your life if you do nothing about it. Is this what you want? These things don't just magically go away, you know? If you let it be, tomorrow will be just like today and so will be the day after tomorrow, and again, and again, and again.

    I'll ask again: is this what you want? To be stuck in this cycle of misery until you are an old man looking back at the time you've lost? As far as we know we only live once and every second you lose wallowing is gone forever.

    I don't know you for more than an username and an avatar, but believe me when I say that I felt heartbroken when you relapsed at day 40+ and dumped that girl in a clear act of guilt and desperation. One day all you wanted was a GF, then right after you've relapsed you felt you didn't wanted her anymore.

    Let's face it: you freaked out. It's comprehensible. I did it a few times as well. But at the time I've asked you if you are afraid of success, and you didn't answered me. Are you? 'Cause I think you are. I think you're currently at a point where failure or success makes no real difference. You'll always find an excuse for why everything suck and the only way out for you is to hide in a dark room.

    But for how long? For how long you'll drag this on and leave it to tomorrow? You need help, man. You need it badly. And that's ok. To admit one's own weakness is a sign of greatness, not weakness. It proves you are human and wise enough to do what's best.

    You can't sit and wait for a burst of motivation to explode within you. Motivation is a fuckin' lie. It helps you getting started but you will ran out of it and then you'll have to make the call, and if you give up everytime you feel unmotivated... well, you know.

    It doesn't matter if you're motivated or not. Just accept that you have to do this with or without motivation, because if you don't you'll reach your 30's, then your 40's and your 50's living like this. Again I tell you: this won't magically solve itself.

    I won't even say I'm sorry for being blunt, because I'm not. You're way past the point of tricks and techniques for rebooting. You need help, professional help, and you need to turn this fuckin' page and start living your life.
     
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