Rebooting - I want to feel proud about myself

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by CleanHands, Jan 7, 2013.

  1. hytsu

    hytsu New Member

    Re: Rebooting - Hardmode

    Nice to see you're going strong after a relapse, keep going !! Enjoy what's great in your life, don't let the small defaults get to your head.

    Cheers ;)
     
  2. InsideOut

    InsideOut Guest

    Re: Rebooting - Hardmode

    That's surprising and sad. What happened?
     
  3. Pedigree

    Pedigree Active Member

    Re: Rebooting - Hardmode

    On the other hand, Hands, did you break up with her because you truly think she wasn't right for you or because you're being nitpicky and finding faults that's not there?

    I'm asking this because the parallel between this breakup and past rebooting attempts where you had a tendency to relapse just as you were beginning to build up a good run is too glaring for me to ignore. The least you could've done is sit with her and talk about where the relationship's up to.

    I hope I'm wrong.
     
  4. h0p3

    h0p3 Hope, Faith and Willpower to all of us.

    Re: Rebooting - Hardmode

    If you don't love her - leave her... you've done the right thing.
     
  5. sully19

    sully19 Sunshine and coconut milk

    Re: Rebooting - Hardmode

    I agree that you made the right move. You might have some regrets after a bunch of days have added up but it'll just be your sexdrive talking and the whole point of this is to not let our want of sex manipulate the way we live. Good to hear you feel good about your decision, that stuff can be so hard to deal with sometimes.
     
  6. J.P.

    J.P. Active Member

    Re: Rebooting - Hardmode

    Am I the only one here besides InsideOut and Pedigree that smells something funny? Are we the only ones that notice the elephant in this journal?

    It's nice to support someone, but don't just echo things that others have said in an attempt to make someone feel right in their decision.

    I feel a need to question this.

    Hands, this was your first relationship with a girl and it lasted all of 2 weeks. How can you possibly know even remotely enough information on whether or not you two were fit?

    Are you sure this isn't self-sabotage again? Or a subconscious desire to go back to your hands?
    I concur.
     
  7. tsmith1302

    tsmith1302 Active Member

    Re: Rebooting - Hardmode

    Not only do I agree with JP and Pedigree, Hands behavior actually seems to be mimicking mine when I got laid.

    After I slept with the girl my thoughts ranged from "she's amazing and this is going to be start of something great" to "ehhhh she doesn't do much for me, I can take her or leave her"

    Ultimately I ended up using convenient excuses not to see her again: she lives too far, I liked another girl, my schedule was too busy, etc. All bullshit, only serving one purpose, I was nervous as shit and this rationale allowed me to stay in my comfort zone.

    Self-sabotage, fear of success, holding myself back... whatever you want to call it, that's what caused me not to pursue an otherwise awesome rewiring opportunity. And I really, really regret it.
     
  8. TheUnderdog

    TheUnderdog Active Member Staff Member

    Re: Rebooting - Hardmode

    Just don't go back to the porn.

    Find another woman or whatever.

    Anything but porn.
     
  9. gameover

    gameover Age: 26

    Re: Rebooting - Hardmode

    Its time to start thinking with your dick.
     
  10. J.P.

    J.P. Active Member

    Re: Rebooting - Hardmode

    This.

    So what she wasn't your heart or whatever, just have a FWB.
     
  11. Re: Rebooting - Hardmode

    Try to be more concious about the situation next time. I'm sure there'll be some coming for you in the near future.
     
  12. superduper

    superduper break the chains of porn

    Re: Rebooting - Hardmode

    It sounds like you kinda treated her like a porn binge. Just because you are not desperately in love doesn't mean you gotta cut it off ASAP. Give it some time.
    I almost sabotaged the relationship with the last girl I'm seeing, and I am so glad I didn't. We didn't move onto sex yet, but our dates have always been nice and included kissing and cuddling. And I first met her 4 months ago. Maybe your brain is still porn-influenced where you expect extreme highs from her but you're disappointed you aren't getting it. I dunno, not saying she is your soulmate, but perhaps take a more relaxed easy-going attitude towards relationships right now, don't take it too seriously, don't feel the need to break up ASAP if she is still cool and you're not leading her on too much.
     
  13. tsmith1302

    tsmith1302 Active Member

    Re: Rebooting - Hardmode

    It's not the end of the world. You could probably still salvage the relationship if you want. Girls love the rollercoaster ride, lol.

    Just don't hold yourself back. And like UD said, whatever you do, don't go back to porn.
     
  14. GE87

    GE87 Guest

    Re: Rebooting - Hardmode

    I can absolutely relate to what TruettW and superduper said.

    I'm in absolutely no position to convict, no way but I don't get it why you (and other guys all around the world) sleep with women just to leave them literally days later. So sad and so wrong in my eyes :( Ok, we're PMO-addicts, we're having a hard time, no doubt but we still have responsibility !

    No woman deserves to be treated like a "porn binge" (superdupers words), so even though it happened it's still better that you left her now. In my eyes it's just this: either both are cool and clear to have sex only and able to manage this like adult persons or no sex when there's no love. Needless to say from a christian standpoint I'd prefer the second option big time.

    Feel free to hose me for my clear, kind of critical but honest words. ???

    Anyway, wish you all the best for your new attempt, Clean.

    See you, dude !
     
  15. Re: Rebooting - Hardmode

    Oh man, I understand how you feel right now. I didn't exactly binge for a few days, but I PMO'd 3 times in 12 hours and I feel that is enough to reset my binge counter. I threw away 24 days of progress, because in my first PMO session I was rock hard like I've rarely been for the past 11 months or so. By the third PMO, I was already having a mediocre erection and the crazy sensitivity was gone. That is a sign that I need a lot more than that.
    We can do this clean!
     
  16. TheUnderdog

    TheUnderdog Active Member Staff Member

    Re: Rebooting - Hardmode

    The problem is not that you broke up with her.

    The problem is that you broke up with her and went back to the porn.

    Basically you chose porn over her.
     
  17. gameover

    gameover Age: 26

    Re: Rebooting - Hardmode

    This was my thoughts as well. If you didn't go back to porn it could be said you just didn't feel it, But the fact you went to porn suggests it still has a massive pull on you.
     
  18. J.P.

    J.P. Active Member

    Re: Rebooting - Hardmode

    UD and gamover are right.

    Hands, it's time to end your addiction. You need to let go of it if you are to have progress.

    It's sink or swim, quit porn and meet the right girl, or be alone.

    Do or die time IMO
     
  19. GE87

    GE87 Guest

    Re: Rebooting - Hardmode

    Ok, I see your point at least to an extent.

    Well, I'd say get on the horse again a.s.a.p. and focus 100% on your reboot. Maybe it was just that the sex plainly came way to early ?! I don't know ...

    Anyway, wish you all the best with your new attempt, Clean :)
     
  20. Just don't relapse when you're not feeling bad about your life in general. Don't relate the reboot to your overall well being. Go hard on the reboot and go hard on changing your life.
     

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