I am beginning to be conscious of an experience that comes along with my rebooting process. This is the utter dullness. As my porn use has stopped and my internet use is slowing down, life is becoming utterly dull. This is devastating for many reasons. I have been a musician ever since I could walk. The creative process simply runs on inspiration. I am experiencing the opposite of that. I am experiencing a life without pleasure, much less joy. This makes things so hard because I know recovery depends on replacing porn habits with other habits- like music. But I find utterly no pleasure in it right now. It's what I was born to do. It's what I've always done. And rebooting has managed to suck the life out of it. Maybe I am feeling the depression that was underneath the surface. Maybe I am angry. I go individual therapy every week and to a general support group when I can. But still, life has no color. It is devastating.