Rebooted, rewired & recovered – 2 years clean, PIED gone!

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Pete McVries, Jan 5, 2021.

  1. Doper

    Doper Well-Known Member

    I think this should be elaborated on for those who mistake the meaning of this passage and then their hearts sink through the floor.
    Abstaining/hardmode etc. DEFINITELY WORKS. The problem is the extreme addictive nature of the product, and the fact it takes a really long time, and you have to be close to perfect.
    It's very much like becoming a bodybuilder. How many bodybuilders, or even reasonably healthy people, do you see?....not many. We all know eating the right foods and lifting weights will get you jacked, it's just really hard for most people to keep the dedication. So that is the cause of the low success rate, not that abstaining doesn't work.
    I understand most people reading this understand this, but...
     
  2. Pete McVries

    Pete McVries Well-Known Member

    That is exactly what I was trying to say. Thanks for clarifying my phrasing ;)
     
    Deleted User likes this.
  3. Jose

    Jose New Member

    Hiii,

    But I Don't think that the rate of recovered people is so low. First of all, we don't have resl stadistics of that. And most of guys when recover just left the forum and nobody knows more. In my particular case I know that probably what I need is be in hard mode few months, but I can't because of my gf. Im beginning with her and even I have told her about this, I Don't want private her of sex during this months. So Im adapting the process and I will ser what happens. What make me feel terrible fear is that stories of guys who are years doing that and can't heal PIED. But, who knows, Patience and hope is the only thing we can't lose. It would be very positive more science and study about the importance of avoid or no the Orgasm in the process of heal PIED. If you know some studies about that I would be very gratefull with you. Thanks so much.
     
    thx_for_the_memes likes this.
  4. thx_for_the_memes

    thx_for_the_memes New Member

    Wow, congratulations. I have also been spending a large chunk of my life with ED. Who cares, all that matters is now. I will have recovered by the end of this year, no ifs and buts.
     
    Jose likes this.
  5. Pete McVries

    Pete McVries Well-Known Member

    As I said, it's my subjective perspective. Maybe there is a plethora of people who only read, reboot, and ride into the sunset happily without any issues. My impression differs though based on what I perceive here on the forums. All the more reason to devote top priority in your life to fixing this thing.

    And I totally agree, more studies on all things porn induced sexual malfunctions would be welcomed. But guess who has money to support studies who aim to prove how harmless if not healthy and life-enriching porn is? Very similar to the alcohol industry which spends millions of dollars each year to keep up appearences that they don't want you to become addicted. Like placing small stickers on their bottles reminding you to drink responsibly. Oh, and by the way, they do not want you to evaluate how effective such measures are because, they 'just work' like apple products :^)
     
    Deleted User likes this.
  6. Vin12

    Vin12 New Member

    hi bro i want to ask you if we can have normal sex after recovery , i am on day 490 hard mode and not able to recover fully yet and is in flatline i wana marry
     
  7. El Fin de un Ciclo

    El Fin de un Ciclo New Member


    Everyone returns to normal sexual function after several months whether they have orgasms or not.
    I'll bet a thousand dollars you have a problem that has nothing to do with your past PMO. Your problem is something else. I know because I have read ALL of your posts here and on NOFAP.
     
  8. Freedom from Servitude

    Freedom from Servitude Active Member

    Congratulations, Pete. It is inspiring to read that you have got to the place where you want to be. Thank you for taking the time to post in detail about your experiences. I have appreciated your ongoing support on this forum. Keep on living the good life :)
     
  9. Pete McVries

    Pete McVries Well-Known Member

    Thanks for your kind words, Freedom from Servitude! :)

    I would like to return the compliment: Your Journal was always a worthwhile read and your longterm sobriety is something I look up to and aim for!
     
  10. RuinedMyLife

    RuinedMyLife New Member

    It's relieving to know I can get back to my "normal" ways of being around a woman. Porn viewing gave me this warped view of women and what sex should be like. I know there is light at the end of this tunnel and I can't wait til I start to see the small dot of light, knowing I'll reach it eventually with hard work and dedication. Thank you .
     
  11. ronkumar

    ronkumar New Member

    Such a inspiring story. Thanks for sharing with us.
     
    Pete McVries likes this.
  12. sunbeam

    sunbeam Member

    Congratulations for your success story and thanks for the report.
    Can you tell us something regarding your vulnerability to the media use (whatsapp, video conferencing, movies, ...).
    Did your rewiring reduce this vulnerability/emotional numbness?
     
  13. Gil79

    Gil79 Seize the day

    Hey @Pete McVries, wow! I was already wondering for a long time when you would write your success story, but then I completely missed it when you wrote it in January. Otherwise I would have been 7 months clean by now :rolleyes::D. No seriously, that is a very touching and inspiring story you wrote there. I think the most inspiring to me is your courage. Not only of the last 2.5 years, but also of everything before that: how you dared to live and face life without your safety blanket, how you dealt with your fears of developing a healthy sexual life, how you picked yourself up after falling back, how you kept looking for the right people to help you even after they don't take you seriously, how you shared your story with your friends and family and with us. I am so happy for you and I am getting a smile on my face when I think of all the beautiful things that are ahead of you. You should be proud of yourself. Thanks so much for this and your previous contributions. You make a difference!
     
  14. ace1234

    ace1234 A woman simply is, but a man must become.

    Honestly, what a great write up Pete. You've inspired me to give it one more go. I am just like you. I am 31 years old and I have been struggling to stop for more than 16 years. I have about given up all hope, but I am going to try my best here and take an honest, serious reboot.

    Your reference to the 50 year old being just you, but 20 years younger really hit home man. I can tell you it's one of my greatest fears to reach that age and have wasted my entire life masturbating to this shit. Can you link to his journal?

    I am gonna go hard mode and I am gonna take the attitude of dying before PMO. I have thoughts about suicide constantly, so why not let not PMO'ing kill me. I know it won't. You know it won't, but it sure feels like it will.
     
    Pete McVries likes this.
  15. Hrrd

    Hrrd New Member

    Hola @Pete McVries I'm very worry about happened to me. At first sorry for my english I'm from Spain.

    I managed to heal myself after 90 days without porn and masturbation. The ED and EP disappeared totally. One day when I was masturbating and I took me a long time to reach orgasm I decided to wacht porn again for get the orgasm.

    I did two times in the same day and EP and ED came back to me.‍♂️

    Today I have 95 days without watching porn and masturbation and EP and ED are still here. I also want to say that since 5 five months I'm suffering a major depression episodie which I'm already getting over it, I dont know if this would be influencing in reboot.

    When I got it the first time I was on medication too and nothing happened.

    What do you think about my situation?

    I have 3 major depression episodies and I think this mental illnes may have been produced by brain change on the dopamine system and streess reguation (hypopariety etc) since I was a child.

    Everyone can help me. Thanks for everything.
     
    Pete McVries likes this.
  16. Pete McVries

    Pete McVries Well-Known Member

    Hi ace1234,

    thank you for your warm words! Unfortunately, I cannot link you to his journal, as I don't remember where I can find it anymore. The fear you describe is comprehensible as we let years pass by left and right while still being entangled by porn. So, I can understand where your your suicidal thoughts originate from and they are very relatable. I would urge you to seek help and talk to either someone who is close to you or a professional. In hindsight, I realized that the feeling of social detachment is one of the if not the biggest stressor. If you feel isolated and are at the mercy of your porn addiction, there is hardly any worse feelings. At least, it subjectively feels that way. I think, talking to my siblings and my close friends about my porn addiction contributed more to my healing process than I thought in that moment. I would be lying if talking to an understanding therapist didn't contribute either...

    Therefore, I would also suggest to lower your stakes a little with your next/current reboot. In your situation, it makes all the sense in the world to declare total war to porn and face the problems guns blazing. The problem is, you will probably run out of steam pretty quickly. Ask yourself: What caused you to relapse before? Was it a lacking resolve/motivation or were there other reasons for it? Don't get me wrong, having a good motive and being motivated can give you a headstart but it will only get you so far. Realize that being addicted to something you get online is particularly a systemic problem. Think of an alcoholic living in a bar that's open 24/7. What would you suggest to him? "Get the hell outta there if you wanna sober up!". What I'm trying to say is, that the crux of the matter is to find solutions to your problem which will increase the barriers to you being able to relapse. Even with good measures, you will have to rely on your resolve from time to time but if your resolve is your only option, the addiction will win and it's just a matter of time. My blocker is still up and running...

    So, don't beat yourself up, be kind to yourself, think of it as a marathon and find solutions that benefit you getting clean sustainibly. Get all the help you can get and be aware of the dangers of an all-or-nothing-approach. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you!
     
    ace1234 likes this.
  17. Pete McVries

    Pete McVries Well-Known Member

    Hi Hrrd,

    I'm sorry to hear that you are going through a tough time. But I'm happy to hear that you managed to get back on the horse after your last relapse. If you were able to recover from PIED once you will be able to do it twice. Be patient, you will get there! I know from my own experience that you are anxiously awaiting the day of recovery and counting every single day but it won't matter in the in end if it took you 10, 50 or a 100 additional days. What matters is that you recover from ED and that you stay healthy. Remember, it's not a sprint!

    In regards to your depression, unfortunately, I fear, I cannot help you from afar. You need to talk to your doctor in regards to your medical questions. Have in mind though, that mental stress provably is very detrimental for your erections. They might be getting a lot better once you're out of that depressive episode. I think, it's very impressive that you've made it this far despite your situation!

    Stay with it and I hope the dark clouds over your mind will fade soon!
     
    Hrrd and Bestrongnopmo like this.
  18. ace1234

    ace1234 A woman simply is, but a man must become.

    Oh absolutely. That's what makes porn so insidious. We're all alcoholics at the bar.

    The thing is with blockers you would have to block youtube as well. So much soft stuff on there that they don't remove, and by soft I mean actual nudity. It's a messed up world we live in.

    I understand that it's a systemic problem. We may actually have to get comfortable with being alcoholics at a bar we can't leave. Knowing this kind of gives me strength. Accepting that reality can help in overcoming it. I don't know if you do any meditation, but that's a huge concept that is emphasized when practicing; recognizing and accepting the current moment and the truth of it.

    I think Sexaholics Anonymous has a prayer that goes along the lines, "God help me accept the things I can not change. The courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference."

    Usually the "things we can not change" refer to events that happened in the past that causes us to relapse (pain, regret, etc.), but it can also be applied to the fact that porn is everywhere and we are alcoholics at the bar.

    Doesn't mean we succumb to drinking because it's hopeless, but rather we take courage and make the choice to not drink, even when surrounded by alcohol & seemingly impossible odds.
     
    Pete McVries likes this.
  19. shattered

    shattered Member

    Wow, I had never heard of this before. I watched the video, and I'm really really hoping this can be a turning point for me after 25 years of struggling that I can convince myself that my issues are addiction related and not for other reasons. I have had the additional challenge of possible other explanations for my ED.

    But watching porn this morning did result in an erection, so I really need to just stop saying maybe it's this or that, and just accept this is the most logical explanation.
     
  20. shattered

    shattered Member

    OMG, this hit me in a powerful way, because that's (underwear catalog) what I started off with 30 years ago. profound
     

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