reboot mk 3

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by fapdout, Sep 25, 2016.

  1. fapdout

    fapdout Member

    The cravings sneak attacks have definitely been there, but I've not gone to porn sites after being triggered by something (could be really anything, I still like boobs) I've seen online. For some reason it seems much easier now I'm doing this for my own sanity; 34 odd days with no PMO. and I used to not be able to go 1 week. I don't know whether I'll have relationships or what the fuck I'll do sexwise if anything in the future, but doing it without an unhealthy relationship with porn is at least something.
     
  2. Gone fishing

    Gone fishing Active Member

    FD, staying away from the PMO can only lead to good things sexwise. (And the alternative path will get the same negative results). It's great to see your progress!
     
  3. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    It's not just something, it's everything. You, my friend, are killing it. Yep, you've been through the wringer, but I think the further away from P you get the more you'll realize that your life is up to you. I had no idea how much of the failure in my life I blamed on others.

    I feel pumped and proud at your progressed. Inspiring, dude!
     
  4. newleaf63

    newleaf63 Member

    hi fapdout

    good to read your journal. i was sad to read regarding your problems with your wife, but one thing came to my mind. we are in this process for ourselves. there are many reasons we are here but it comes down to letting go of the negativity which surrounds us. sadly we cannot change peoples opinions of us but by changing ourselves may help in changing their opinions of us.

    like some who have posted on our wall, i to have been completing little jobs around the house which i have neglected and yes there is some benefit to be gained from completing them. being porn free isnt easy and you should feel more positive about the steps you have made thus far. i know enough about this process to realise just how beneficial it is and how its a giant help enabling us to recover our sense of pride. for too long we have allowed ourselves to feel betrayed by our weakness.

    i wish you well, continue on the path brother and things will get better. all the best
     
  5. fapdout

    fapdout Member

    Had what I would call some near calls. This is googling things that are sketchy and almost always lead to P at some point. Still off PMO though, and there's no pressure elsewhere as I'm separated. No idea how long rewiring will take, I was on to Internet porn as soon as I got a dial up connection back in 98. For the most part I don't obsess over it, I'm pretty happy to be beating my addiction so far. I honestly don't know if I'll have another intimate relationship for some time if ever, but I feel beating PMO is really good for my mental well being.
     
  6. bak2lyf

    bak2lyf Guest

    @fapdout - Sorry to hear about your "separation" from your wife, but at least it sounds like you're still living together. When I first started this journey I went through a similar situation, and in retrospect I have to believe that if the woman was more supportive I would have finished this journey already. One thing I wasn't able to ascertain from going through your journal is does your wife even know about your addiction?

    Women just don't understand how the penis works, and trying to explain to them that your ED is not about them personally, in most cases, seems to be a loss cause. The times personally I suffered from ED while with a woman I would say it was 2% mental and 98% physical; my penis was just flatout exhausted from PMO. So I admire you for going over a month PMO free, because getting your strength back seems inevitable.
     
  7. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    Your state of mind is SO much better. Remember, we're doing this for ourselves. The good stuff comes when we are selfish enough to care about our own well-being. 8)
     
  8. fapdout

    fapdout Member

    I'm moving out of the house soon,
    I'll still spend plenty of time with my kids. No regrets now about divorcing; there was a lot of dysfunctional things going on. I have a sometimes FWB and sex is going great because of acceptance and a lack of pressure. Still think my PMO habit isn't entirely healthy and started reboot yesterday. Again.
     
  9. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    Nope, nothing healthy about it. I'm glad you are feeling better about the divorce. Be careful for those emotions that come out of nowhere.
     

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