Reason vs. AntiFap Brigade (Warning: long OP, so don't tl;dr me)

Discussion in 'Pornography Addiction' started by Hellborg, Aug 24, 2013.

  1. al1234

    al1234 Guest

    OK, thank you for that. A much more balanced and mature post than I usually see on the forum.

    Best of luck with everything,
    Al
     
  2. WoLong

    WoLong Guest

    Perhaps you're aware of the study where rats were made to eroticize the smell of death.

    Correct me if I'm wrong, but the person you were replying to is trying to let go of lust towards individuals who he is not in a relationship with. Some men who have been married for a very long time state that they are generally incapable of being sexually satisfied by anyone but their wife. It is possible to trigger arousal to anything, so I have no idea why you're hostile to the other user's desire to recenter his sexuality on emotional intimacy.
     
  3. jjveetec

    jjveetec Well-Known Member

    You nailed a problem that has no source in pornography but is main reason people turn to pmo. It shows how objectified women are for some people..... And this very objectification was the reason one reaches out to porn.
    So yes - as long as you treat women as instrumental in satisfying your lust, than you will always be to the square one. Or rather you will never leave it really, just create appearance that you did.

    It seems like people would rather learn how to deal with woman anger, than learn how to not cause it.
    You mention that checking other women when in relationship is bad, but seem to be concerned only with the fact, that if he sees it, you might be single again. How about thinking how she will FEEL when you do this?

    You talk about women (gfs) using possessive language "when you GET a girlfriend".... Why not when you ARE WITH someone?

    definitely HAVING a girfriend and HAVING urges towards other women is a difficult situation.

    My aim (if there is one because in general I stop giving two shits about it) is BEING with someone I LOVE. And this makes things much easier of course, because one enters a phase of increased plasticity while in love. This is probably the single best thing that can happen to a man like me.
     
  4. jjveetec

    jjveetec Well-Known Member

    Not necessarily the truth. Just as one can masturbate to fantasy, one can have "sex to fantasy".
     

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