Real sex..unenjoyable

Discussion in 'Erectile Dysfunction / Delayed Ejaculation' started by RockoDillon, Oct 6, 2018.

  1. RockoDillon

    RockoDillon Member

    Hi Guys,

    A bit of background. I struggled with ED a lot. I was never very out-going so I never dated much so my only exposure to sex was via porn and or imagination. I don’t watch porn anymore and have dated more the past few years. I’ve been with plenty of girls and can orgasm sometimes but not always. I feel more recovered from where I previously was (where I couldn’t orgasm at all either to DE or losing erections.)

    Anyways, for my question. Do those of you who have recovered or are on the way to recovery find sex unenjoyable or anti-climatic? That seems to be the case with me. I can’t tell if it is mental or if I just don’t get the physical gratification for it.

    When I say mental, I mean that the real thing can’t live up to fantasy or novelties I’ve build up in my head so the real thing is unarousing as a result.

    When I say physically gratifying, I mean that the real thing just doesn’t feel as good as when I do it myself, that maybe my way of masturbation was so unreal that I reduced the sensitivity I would normally have down there.

    Basically, sex is a lot of work for me to get off. I have to imagine something while thrusting as best I can to make myself go. My girlfriend enjoys the sex but I don’t quite as much. Because it so much work I just don’t look forward to it that much and see it as more of a chore. I honestly enjoy masturbating to my thoughts more.

    Or it’s possible my girl friend is a bit looser than normal so it makes me work more, but it’s been a while since I’ve been with anyone besides her.

    It shouldn’t be this way. Anyone else struggle like this?
  2. Doper

    Doper Member

    As someone who watched a lot of porn for many many years before actually having sex, it is very surprising to me how little sensitivity or sensation there is with your dick thrusting in and out of a pussy or ass. But it doesn't really bother me too much, it just means I can last, I don't understand everyone's problem with DE, sure as hell better than the opposite.
    There is no doubt, jerking off can be more intense than sex, and porn is way more intense than sex, especially once you've hyper-sensitized yourself to the triggers and things that get you off the most.....that is the point, that's why our dicks stop working. I find it surprising that I can be having some pretty kinky sex, and if I were watching the same thing on a computer screen my brain would be getting really buzzed out, but in real life I feel kinda detached, but in control. As well, if I go a long time hard mode and just out of the blue watch some porn, I nut almost immediately, but in real life this would never happen. If those things don't say this shit is screwing up my brain, I don't know what would.
    So yeah, porn and jerking it are much more intense, but they aren't real so the only answer is to stay away. Not like going back to porn is an alternative, I tried to dabble after successfully rebooting but it was a stupid decision, my dick stopped working after about 4 months and it's taken me 8 months and counting to get back to where I was. So I won't be doing that shit again.

    How long has it been since you were a porn fiend, Rocko? Maybe we just need more time.
  3. Superunknown

    Superunknown Member

    sex doesnt feel good to me either. Your dick is fine, its your libido thats shot. Your body doesnt want to have sex yet. You need to keep doing no PMO and rewire rewire rewire.

    Youve also got to quit fantasizing. That shit is just as destructive as porn for some of us, myself included.
  4. RockoDillon

    RockoDillon Member

    Thanks for your response. I've long suspected that mental fantasy is just as bad as watching porn. I had no issue stopping porn, but I think I just subsituted fantasy, which has been much harder to quite.

    Any time I have a free moment, I want to take a mental break and have a sexual fantasy that I've rehearsed over and over.

    Its a tough habbit to kick. Were you able to?
  5. Superunknown

    Superunknown Member

    I still struggle with it. For example. When i do have sex, my mind automatically tries to fantasize. When I noticed that a few years ago, thats when I realized for some of us, fantasy is the culprit. Now, random sex fantasies during the day? Youll get over it. That took probably years for me, but now its not an issue. If I can kick it you can.

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