Re - Reconquering my manhood

Discussion in 'Ages 25-29' started by Barneybarn, Jan 17, 2013.

  1. Barneybarn

    Barneybarn Reboot and rewire!

    Thanks fugu and GO for the support.
    I was reading your journals too but did not have anything meaningful to add and in my opinion if I have nothing constructive to say than it is better to keep my mouth shut (do not get me wrong, pointing out that something is wrong is ok, but dwelling on stuff instead of searching for a solution, or just to say something for the sake of saying something is like trying to solve an algebra equation by eating an apple (loudly so it annoys everyone in the room) or sometimes just pouring gasoline onto fire).

    In my world nothing much has changed. I am still on a no O streak. I met this outgoing, fun, interesting and cute girl who I really liked but just before we kissed (well our lips actually touched but then she suddenly pulled back) her boyfriend showed up......
    Now luckily he was entering the place and was still looking for her therefore he is none the wiser but that is not really important (it avoided a lot of stress but that is it).

    This week we had a cross divisional meeting concerning the upcoming restructuring and we are more confused than we were before. It looks like I will have 4-5 direct bosses but when I asked no one could give me an answer. All we know is that it will take a few months to sort out what the gods have decided. Some positions I have been aiming for have suddenly been filled (by some very incompetent and slow people) so I am completely lost and confused at work and I am really loathing one huge portion of my tasks (it is very detail oriented grunt work that needs to be done, no one appreciates it being done but everyone points out the mistakes they find (some of them are not mistakes but shows the level of incompetence of the person pointing out the "mistake"). A few other people share this at work now they also get in trouble for not managing it to get done (it causes almost all my overtime currently just to always get it out of the way).

    I still have severe mood swings and my 3 lists are not really coming along (well the long term one has a lot of goals on it but it is more like a wish list). At the moment I feel lost. At work, with my personal plans to one day have a family and also in my social circle.
    The only thing that is going well (steady but slow) is my diet, I averagely lose 0.5-4 pounds a week and I am happy with my progress.

    I went out a few times this week and when I do go out I do manage to distance myself from all the bs going on but the next day nothing has changed.
    I am looking for solutions everywhere but do not seem to find answers to my enquires, goals or anything really which just leads to more frustration.

    Unless I have been going out socially I do go for a walk every night but my thoughts are just so scrambled at this point and I have so many unresolved stuff that afterwards I always feel physically and emotionally drained.

    I am usually a very positive guy who always tries to be proactive and solution oriented but at the moment everything just seems to be out of my reach or influence. Most of my ideas get smashed down pretty quickly, either by higher ups or circumstances.

    One thing that I have observed is that currently the most cheerful and happy people I know are the ones who just do not give a fuck, basically the slackers.
    A few months ago it was the accomplished people who were the happiest around, the ones who had their shit under control but even if that still applies (not all of them have their shit together any more) they just seem miserable and frustrated. This kind of applies everywhere, at work, with my acquaintances, my friends and my family.

    Concerning erectile health everything seems to be improving slow but steady. When I have morning wood it is hard. The disconnect seems to be fading (but still occurs) and I do get semis when it "is in context". I have been horny all week and was thinking of "giving in" to easy girls (there are a few around that have on more than one occasion expressed their desire, but most of them are colleagues or "crazies" (already had a few bad experience with these kind of girls)).

    I am turning 30 this summer and I feel like I am worse off than when I was 20. I feel trapped in many parts of my life. Only a few things give me real joy at this moment (like polishing my car and my car generally) and I can neither resolve nor distance myself from the negatives. Not being able to resolve or contribute to a solution bothers me the most. I feel lost, frustrated and confused.

    I would appreciate some positive constructive feed back or criticism because at the moment I really do not know what to do. A recco for a good self help book would also be appreciated (or a book with a positive message).

    Reboot and rewire,

    PS: Thanks in advance to everyone who reads the long post
  2. Dont know how much constructive stuff i can bring along,
    but do you like your job? I imagine there´s nothing like getting stuck in corporate america when its a daily source of frustration that you just can´t escape. Unless, you quit and find another job.

    Btw, i´ve heard meditation helps with racing thoughts. Although you already know i can´t back that up.

    Anyways, we all know how to escape from the frustration. To the place that helps noone. Relapse city. Dangerous place.

    Not much of a reader, but do you work out? I can back up one thing, a punching bag for half an hour gives great temporary relief.
  3. fugu

    fugu "You know, feelin' good, livin' betta." :) Staff Member

    The no O streak you are on is pretty impressive I honestly find a lot of emotional ups and downs on no orgasm streaks, particularly in the beginning 3-4 weeks (might even be longer for you because this is your first big streak since coming back).

    You're doing great though man, I'm sure things will level out really soon! You seem very fearless in the social situations, particularly with women. Definitely a great sign man!
  4. Barneybarn

    Barneybarn Reboot and rewire!

    Thank you thou and fugu for the support.

    So as of today my no O streak is over. I have started dating the girl from the party (the one with the boyfriend) and today she came over. She did not have sex with me because she did not want to cheat on her boyfriend but she did give me very sweet head.
    I usually cannot come from BJs but the no O streak combined with the feelings I have for her made it seem as easy as pie.
    I was ultra sensitive and I blew out a load that youldve filled a small espresso cup (also ruined my sheets).

    During the whole time we have been fooling around the last few days I was always hard while kissing her and little Barney was a diamond cutter all night tonight while undressing her kissing her and caressing her. This took several hours as her conscience was holding her back and I did not want to force/trick or in any way hurry her decisions. But once little Barney was pressing too much through my pants we both knew that it would lead to something.

    Now she has been in her relationship for the last 4 years but the love as they say is gone.
    Lets see how thing develop. I will see her on Saturday again...
    Work is now more like a roller coaster. New news either drags us all down or up. I have started to look for other positions in the same field but not yet have found anything (only been lookin for 2 days).
    Reboot and rewire,
  5. gameover

    gameover Age: 26

    Sounds really cool that your ED is going or gone completely and you have a girl you like to spend time with.

    How many days was your O streak?
  6. Barneybarn

    Barneybarn Reboot and rewire!

    From April 1oth till yesterday I was on a no O streak so 41 days???
    Well I saw her sooner than anticipated and she gave me head again today, the funny things is I just one massive orgasm with the Jizz going everywhere. Like 10 big "Pumps" in different intensity and each pump was a massive load on its own. Needless to say that my sheets need changing.
    She was also amazed and asked me how this is possible, I just told her that I do not masturbate and like to keep my energy for the real thing.
    I constantly get hard when I think of her.
    I forgot to tel you in the last posts that I am breaking several of my own rules.
    The two major ones being she is a colleague (in a very far away department but still), she is in a relationship.
    She is torn whether she should break it off with him or not but her words were more decisive than yesterday.

    Back to the "pumps", I have never experienced this. Sometimes in the it did happen that I had a second longer "pump" that was also intensive but this was more like squirting around with a watergun it was intense and Itotally lost control of all my movements.

    I think I am on the right track. I do not want to jump the gun so lets see how things develop with the reboot.

    Reboot and rewire,
  7. whiterayn

    whiterayn New Member

    Great that you have found someone to have fun with mate. I would try taking it pretty slowly though as it is probably not the best way to start something serious when she still has a boyfriend. I mean from my limited experience it would just make it pretty hard to be in a trusting relationship if you got into something serious. Enjoy it though bud, and I hope it works out for you both.
  8. HerrOin

    HerrOin Member

    Man, I'm jealous of those pumps. Sounds awesome.
  9. gameover

    gameover Age: 26

    Sounds really good mate.
  10. Barneybarn

    Barneybarn Reboot and rewire!

    She came over today and we intensely made love 5 times....
    The fifth time I went soft after I put on the condom (we started without it)
    So I am not completely healed but I am well on my way.
    I think this could develop into something more serious so I will just call her Lucy.
    I am starting to fall for her but because of her long term relationship the situation is not easy.
    Today was just great
    I cooked for her, made love and felt a deeper connection (have not felt something like this for months). She really know how to turn me on.
    Reboot and rewire,
  11. gameover

    gameover Age: 26

    Awesome man. Looks like your ED is gone.

    Really happy you found a girl.
  12. Yay, perfect scenario. Almost. She´ll get out of that old relationship soon enough. Girls are often very bad at ripping the bandage off.
  13. SheliaVerdusco

    SheliaVerdusco New Member

    In your mind what is a GPS jammer and what can it do to help you? Only when you are in the situation that the GPS jammer is need you will understand how important and useful such kind of device is. Gaining more knowledge of the device? Just start and then you will have access to the best jamming gps jammer.
  14. Barneybarn

    Barneybarn Reboot and rewire!

    GPS jammer??? Sorry, but I do not really know what you mean.
  15. Barneybarn

    Barneybarn Reboot and rewire!

    Hey there everyone.
    So I have been doing great. I started a relationship with the girl from the previous posts and I just cannot keep my hands off of her.
    Sometimes we eat lunch at my place and we have sex 2-3 times just in the lunch hour.
    On weekends we sometimes have sex 5-6 times a day. It is awesome.
    What I have noticed is that I usually cum very fast the first time (you could call it premature ejaculation) and I just stay hard for (a little more than) 5 minutes. So if she is up for it we go again.

    Now one thing is hurting my ego a little but it will be sorted out in the next couple of months. I could not make her orgasm yet (she thought she already had two with me, I know she did not, but she has never had an orgasm in her life). I am slowly teaching her to let go in her mind. In bed this seems to be the biggest challenge.

    All the worries about my ED are gone. After the 3rd or 4th time within a couple of hours my refractory period can become long and sometimes that is my biggest concern.

    I have also done something else that is amazing. She was surprised that I can go so many times and that I am horny all the time. So I have told her everything. I have told her about my porn past and that I am a porn addict and that due to this I completely cut porn out of my life and that I do not masturbate... at all. Now she finds it funny to tease me in order to get me to touch myself during foreplay......

    Last but not least.... I have stopped smoking 3 weeks ago and my energy levels are through the roof... this has also contributed to me always being horny.

    I know that my horniness will reduce as the relationship progresses but currently we are both enjoying this beginning phase of not being able to keep our hands off of each other.

    So very unstructured and enthusiastic post. I am meeting her in a few hours and I am very excited already.
    Yes, I really like this girl. She is fun and emotionally very intelligent.

    Reboot and rewire,
  16. gameover

    gameover Age: 26

    Wow man thats awesome. Sounds like your loving it at the moment.

    If you can have sex 5-6 times a day I wouldn't worry about refractory period. Probably one of the great success stories on this forum man. To suceed, go back to porn and than succeed again is a true indicator of the effects of porn.

    I think anyone would be happu to just be able to have sex 1-2 times in an hour let alone 3-4.
  17. Barneybarn

    Barneybarn Reboot and rewire!

    Thank you Gameover.
    Yes, I am over the moon and do not have any black shadow concerning ED in the back of my mind. It is just awesome to be free of porn and all the baggage related to it. I feel like a a horny teenager again.

    Reboot and rewire,
  18. gameover

    gameover Age: 26

    Well im super happy for you then. Reaching thst point if no ED concern is really cool.
  19. fugu

    fugu "You know, feelin' good, livin' betta." :) Staff Member

    God Barney, you are destroying it. Sounds like you are...recovered! To be able to have sex TWO times a day is envied by many around here. :) :)

    Great work man. Your journal was ALWAYS one of my favorites around here. No nonsense, fix the problem and cure the ED.
  20. Barneybarn

    Barneybarn Reboot and rewire!

    Hey guys,
    I have finally rebooted again and came here to brag a little :D.
    I fully regained my erectile health and can have sex multiple times a day.
    My current girlfriend is amazing in bed and on weekends we regularly have sex marathons where I make love to her 10 to 20 times within two and a half days.
    I will admit that after that my penis is usually a little sore and smaller and my testicles are completely drained but with a high protein diet within 36 hours the latest I am back to diamond cutter erections.

    To anyone who still doubts this: rebooting does work!

    Reboot and rewire,

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