Here again because i cannot sleep. If i get woken after 3am my night is pretty much screwed and the next 2 days are a drag. Thankfully my kids are not usually responsible any more. I have been wondering what the next thing for me is, since it's been over 2 years since i used porn. The Pema Chodron stuff is gradually sinking in more and more. The habits she discusses, of constantly bringing your attention back to the present moment and not "flying off" when your ego gets triggered by an event or other people, are beginning to take take hold. My attitude to my mother-in-law is a good gauge of this. She used to REALLY get under my skin (journal entries from about a year ago show this) but she doesn't so much any more. I'm not sure why this is exactly, except i feel more confident in my own worth on the whole (thanks to NoFAP and also the practice) and also a dawning sense of compassion for others (even her). If there was any doubt of the value of the practice, the fact it can change the way i feel about her is proof. Anyway Christmas is coming up, kids will be on holiday, I have heaps of work to get through, mother-in-law is visiting, so we'll see just how "enlightened" really i am... Also I'm taking new approach to my work and time. The project i'm working on right now is almost unmanageably big and i have been forced to organize my time more efficiently. What i do now is 1) Measure my output every hour. This allows me to keep track of progress and also push for more output each hour. 2) Take a 10 minute break every hour, regardless of how well it's going. During these 10 minute breaks I do small tasks around the house like water the garden. 3) Go to bed at 10pm sharp and get up at 6am. My kids get up at 7am, so that gives me a whole hour in the morning to either work/go for a swim/walk to the shops to buy fresh bread/sleep in. It's amazing to get up at 7am and feel like you've had a sleep-in! 4) Cook dinner at 4pm and eat at 5.10pm when my wife comes home. I used to try and work between 3.30pm and 5pm (cook at 5pm to eat at 6pm) but monitoring my output i see that my output at that time is very low because of dealing with kids, so I have written it off completely. This means I can now work solidly 4 hours from 6pm to 10pm and I can even play a game of Mariocart with my kids around 4pm without worrying about working. This type of time management might seem pretty bloody obvious to people who work in an organization, but for a guy like me who works from home it is a revelation. I haven't had much time to come here lately, but just knowing it is here helps keep me honest and focused on recovery.