Ranger70 Journal

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by Stupd Idiot, Jan 2, 2014.

  1. Stupd Idiot

    Stupd Idiot New Member

    Hi,

    I am 43 years old and I have had porn induced ED since May 2012. From 2004 to 2012 I was a steady porn user. I quit cold turkey summer of 2012 only to relapse Dec. 2012. I have not looked at a video or masturbated to porn since Feb 2013. I have periods when I feel like myself and then it just vanishes. I go weeks to a month with out masturbation and my urges return. I wake up with morning erections. I even get hard kissing or holding hands with a girl just like the old days! I start to masturbate again thinking about normal women I know that I find attractive or have casually dated. Not wanting things to get to far in real life. I think I have turned the corner and I am over this only to have the problem return. I have now been dating this wonderful woman and she has made it known to me that when I return from the trip I'm on she wants to take it to the next level. While I have been away she has been texting me very provocatively all things she wants to do to me when we see each other. We have even masturbated together over the phone a couple of times. I thought I was back! But now it feels like my libido has left me again. I do get a erection when I am a sleep at some point in my sleep cycle. It wakes me up! But the last 2 days I have not had a erection when I have woken up. I'm very concerned. I really like this girl and don't want to lose her!


    Thank you for all your help!
     
  2. LTE

    LTE Master Of My Domain

    Re: Help!

    As I see it, you can have sex with yourself, or have sex with another person. Which do you want? It's that simple. If you don't want sex with yourself porn will become uninteresting.
     
  3. Stupd Idiot

    Stupd Idiot New Member

    Re: Help!

    I don't want sex with myself! I want sex with my GF. I have not watched or masturbated to porn since Feb. 2013. But I still have periods where my libido is low and I have periods where I feel normal again. I read that recovery is non linear. I guess I am concerned what my performance will be when I see my GF again. Will I be back to normal?
     
  4. LTE

    LTE Master Of My Domain

    Re: Help!

    If you are not masturbating, then, IMHO, you are doing the best thing you can do to be prepared for real sex. I've been free of porn and masturbation for over a year and I'm not really horny. I have sexual desires, but they are ignored unit I can make love with a partner. Once I ignore these deires they don't cause problems, but they are still there.
     
  5. chicken

    chicken Guest

    Re: Help!

    I would recommend no M at all. Just don't touch yourself P or no P. Save it all for when you are with someone. Don't test, that is self defeating too.
     
  6. LTE

    LTE Master Of My Domain

    Re: Help!

    Yep.
     
  7. Stupd Idiot

    Stupd Idiot New Member

    Re: Help!

    Thank you guys! This is just a long and frustrating process.
     
  8. chicken

    chicken Guest

    Re: Help!

    I am here for you brother....some how encouraging you helps me too. Stay strong.
     
  9. chicken

    chicken Guest

    Re: Help!

    Here is the link to my journal, not sure if it will help to read my story:

    http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic=16661.0
     
  10. fcjl8

    fcjl8 The only path for me

    Re: Help!

    I'll add to the no M suggestions... a long spell with no M whatsover will make for a very nice connection with your lady.

    No question in my mind that masturbating takes away so much of our natural "maleness".
     
  11. Caoimhín

    Caoimhín Winter's coming...

    Re: Help!

    I guess it is a cliché, but "What is normal?" If you've been PMOing since you were a boy, your whole perception of sex and women has been one thing BUT now that you are ridding this from your life you are heading to new territory. It may be vastly different to previous experiences. I'm thinking though, if possible, avoid thinking about what your performance will be next time you have sex. In fact, if you still do worry about this, try some of the techniques described elsewhere about non-sex intimacy to take that O-goal away.
     
  12. Re: Help!

    Hey there, Ranger - A Stupd Idiot wouldn't recognize the problem, take steps to address the problem, find a successful solution or be able to attract a lady friend. So, I'm referring to you as Ranger from now on. :)

    Okay, this mystery of the disappearing libido, I've heard this one before. My husband and I have had some miraculous recovery, then a dip in libido only to return, which we think is due to some MO. (I think everyone with PIED has taken themselves out for a MO "test drive". It isn't a one-seat recreational vehicle! Leave it in the garage until you have someplace to go! and someone to join on the ride!) So, there is also stress - and anxiety that can create problems. Makes sense because cars don't run on stress.

    Anyway, enjoy being the center of attention with your lady friend, don't get stressed and don't put a lot of mileage on your car.
     
  13. Stupd Idiot

    Stupd Idiot New Member

    Re: Help!

    Thank you for the link and your support!
     
  14. Stupd Idiot

    Stupd Idiot New Member

    Re: Help!

    Thank you!
     
  15. Stupd Idiot

    Stupd Idiot New Member

    Re: Help!

    Hi SO Reboot Partner, Thank you for the very nice complement and name change! That is great advice you have given me and a great way to remember when I start having those old feelings to just leave it in the garage when I'm alone! At the very least I'm happy I kicked the porn habit so far. I wish I came here earlier for support. In all honesty I feel excited and scared at the same time.
     
  16. chicken

    chicken Guest

    Re: Help!



    I like the sentiment RANGER it is!

    I totally know the feeling that you are talking about. Excited and Scared at the same time. Lets call that HOPE.
     
  17. LTE

    LTE Master Of My Domain

    Re: Help!

    By being here you have made yourself aware that it is possible to defeat this problem. That's worth being excited over. You can do this, it is completely possible.
     
  18. Stupd Idiot

    Stupd Idiot New Member

    Re: Help!

    Thanks LTE! I so want to beat this and have this stage of my life in my review mirror. Internet Porn is like a siren's song. It does not do anything but lead you a stray and crash you on the rocks!
     
  19. Stupd Idiot

    Stupd Idiot New Member

    Re: Help!

    I'd like to thank everyone again for their support! Before posting on this site I felt very alone struggling with this problem. I had not talk to anyone about this. I feel much better knowing that I'm not alone in tackling this problem.

    When I get the urge to masturbate I will instead go to this site and remember how good the benefits are to defeat this and get my brain back how nature intended it to be.
     
  20. LTE

    LTE Master Of My Domain

    Re: Help!

    That's pretty much the strategy I've used. It worked for me. Negative urges are rare these days.
     

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