Radical Self-Love: The Only Success You're Craving

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Johhny Bravo, Aug 30, 2018.

  1. Johhny Bravo

    Johhny Bravo Every temptation is another chance of life revival

    When you successfully complete your nofap challenge, how will you feel? I read many accounts of, "improved confidence, more contact with women, more drive for life..." But yet, these same people, as soon as they masturbate and give into their sexual urges, there seems to be an atmosphere of (harsh) self-judgement, personal attack and self-shaming.

    For me, for many years, I used nofap as my attempted means to garner my own self-respect and self-love. "Once I do this for 3 months, I will be such a new man..." My decision to accept who I was, was always just around the corner....but never arriving.....Always keeping my self-love out of reach, until I succeeded at nofap. I could go a few days, a few weeks at max, but I would always end up giving in and then shaming myself and blaming myself for not being good enough, being weak, dreading all the 'benefits' I am losing, self-attacking.

    I have a bold statement to make. It may sound bold to some but to others it will seem like common sense, the self-shame and the self-punishment and the constant distancing of your own self-acceptance is more dangerous to your psychological and physical health than wanking 6 times per day to porn. If you can decide to love and accept yourself-as you are, porn and all- and genuinely be open to and soothe yourself and nourish yourself regardless of what you do or don't do......then my friend, in the eyes of me and yourself, you have already succeeded.

    Prior to my 15 month (more like 16 month) streak of zero masturbation or deliberate porn use- but still intimacy with a woman- I reached a point where I didn't care if I watched porn or not anymore. I didn't care if I could never succeed at nofap. I didn't care if fate so determined I was mentally weaker than other men....I just said, "Johhny, you know what, you're a good dude. I love you and accept you- NOW- and watch all the porn you want, it doesn't change my love for you (me)." And I repeated such phrases to myself for about a week until I believed it. I would literally watch porn (forced myself at times) 4 times a day, and every time I watched porn I said "I love you Johhny, you're a great dude. You're good. Now enjoy." My self-love was not going to change based on some fickle decision of doing nofap or not. I had been pressuring and punishing myself in a cycle- for 6 years- of trying, then failing, then trying and succeeding, then failing. So I just decided and surrender "fine, I fail. Now I want my self-love."

    After a period of letting myself self indulge with zero ramifications on my self-love or self-respect, soon, I found myself naturally not feeling the need to watch it or touch myself. Those options suddenly just appeared to become boring weirdly. I wanted a real woman. I mentioned in another post I used some self-hypnosis and self-image changes that helped me firmly decide that I was to move in a direction I wanted to....But I believe I have HEAVILY under stated the value of self love. Prior to my hypnosis and reading Pscyhocbernetics, I was already a person who was his own best friend. Self-love is an attitude and behaviour that is to be practised until it is normalised.

    Doesn't matter what approach you use: Self-love is the underlying option. Once you finish (if you finish) nofap, you will self-accept....Why not just do it now?
     
    Bobby44, Gilgamesh and themammothrept like this.
  2. Imfree

    Imfree Member

    That's awesome!

    Speaking for myself: I PMO because I'm ashamed and I'm ashamed because I PMO. I can't understand why psychologists are only talking about the relatively trivial issues of anxiety and depression and not talking about shame (being something much more powerfull that what is implied by the term "low self-esteem").

    You went to see a hypnotist? Pscyhocbernetics doesn't come up in a Google search. Please let me know if there is something that I can do (affirmations haven't done it for me). There is no treatment for shame that I am aware of. I only save myself from self harm by weekly consumtion of opiates, but I haven't found a long-term solution.
     

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