R-Evolve - (Day 43)

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by Fallen, May 1, 2012.

  1. Fallen

    Fallen New Member

    Short Summary: I'm 22 years old. Started M-ing when i was about 10 years old. At age 14 i started M-ing to P on average once a day. I had a girlfriend for two years from age 19 to 21. Used P alot more after we broke up and had Porn induced ED by the time I tried to have sex with the next girl i met. Currently rebooting and it's going very well!

    The Story
    At age 19 I had my first girlfriend. Once we got round to having sex, I wasn't able to get hard because I was nervous as it was my first time and I'm naturally shy. I got past the anxiety stage after about a month and we continued to have sex 3-4 times a week for the first year of our relationship. Throughout our relationship I carried on with my P habits, but only about 3 times a week. (I didn't see anything wrong with it at the time and neither did she).

    During the second year of being with her, I started university. This meant that I only got to see her once a month on average, therefore I was watching P quite a bit more now that I wasn't getting as much sex. The times that we did have sex, I usually needed some stimulation during foreplay to get things started. I eventually broke up with her because my heart was never fully in the relationship. Throughout our relationship i would hardly ever compliment her and i never opened up about my feelings or anything like that. I'm sure PMO was why i was so distant, like I was never 'living in the moment'.

    After this I carried on watching P every night again. The P esculated here as I would have about 15 Firefox tabs open, with multiple genres, searching for the perfect scene. This carried on for about 6 months.

    Then I met a girl at work who I really liked. I managed to build up the courage to ask for her number as I had heard that she thought I was hot too. After a few weeks of getting to know each other, we tried to have sex but I could not get it up. This happened about 4-5 times and I did not know why, I wasn't nervous at all. Even when she stimulated me I could only get it up for a very short period of time, and I would have to fantasize too. She was patient but we eventually stopped seeing each other and never had sex. At the time, i had never heard of YBOP, I told her it had nothing to do with her but the problem might be because I watch too much porn. The reason I thought this was because I knew I was able to get hard watching P and stimulating myself, but real sex was completely different. However, I carried on watching porn (slightly less) for about two more months until March 2012.

    I then found YBOP and realised I had Porn induced ED. I could get hard watching porn, but with sensation alone there was nothing. Even M-ing using fantasy wouldn't get me solid. It was clear that I needed to stop watching porn completely - so I decided to attempt a reboot straight away.

    My Progress
    Right now I'm on Day 43 of No PMO :) - (May 1st 2012)

    Before Rebooting: Whilst Rebooting:
    - No morning erections - Regular morning wood/steel
    - Sometimes got brain fog - Can pitch a tent without stimulation
    - Hardly ever made eye contact - Feel more much connected when having conversations
    - Generally quite antisocial - Confident when talking to girls, flirting alot more and making eye contact
    - Excited about life

    I was always quite good at getting girls numbers on nights out, but meeting up with them sober was a disaster. I would be so boring and distant and could never fully relax. I would also not have the urge to get things moving to the next level, so nothing would really happen.

    Recently I've met up with a few girls and It's been a great experience. There's so much more flirting and interesting conversation, I am a much happier person, and feel relaxed. It's like my mind is becoming clearer everyday.

    I met a girl last weekend and we've been texting, we're going to meet up this weekend which should be good. I'm not thinking about having sex just yet but it would probably take a few weeks or a month to get to that stage anyway, so we'll see..

    Things I do to prevent relapsing:
    - Avoid aimlessy browsing the internet
    - Remember why I started this reboot in the first place
    - Make a to-do list for the following day to keep busy
    - Be stubborn! (This is natural for me :p)

    To be continued..
     
  2. liveinthenow

    liveinthenow New Member

    Re: R-Evolve

    Sounds like you are going to have a blast, good work ;D
     
  3. HelpWanted

    HelpWanted New Member

    Great job getting to day 43, keep it up man!
     
  4. Fallen

    Fallen New Member

    Day 44 No PMO

    No Fap April was a success.. Now aiming for No Fap May!

    Went to the gym as usual and had a great workout. Did alot of assignment work for uni and chilled out with my housemates.

    Had a dream about porn last night though, it's a shame I cant install K9 into my dreams ???

    Thanks for the posts guys
     

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